Citation: Inf1nity. "The Final Trip: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp37499)". Erowid.org. Oct 19, 2004. erowid.org/exp/37499
Simple Preparation: Mashed seeds in ziplock bag with a hammer, threw them in our mouths and washed them down.
It was saturday night. My friend A* and i stared down at our crushed seeds with excitement and as the clock struck 8pm we shoved the gross mess into our mouths and washed it down with our hot cocoa. We both agreed it was a gross couple of seconds but our excitement outweighed the momentary distaste. We had planned to trip for weeks. We planned it out, and made sure not to eat them on empty stomachs. I had researched the HBW on Erowid thoroughly. I enjoyed reading the experiences though i admit some of the bad experiences did cause a little worry. I pushed those thoughts aside however, i was too motivated by the ultimate goal: tripping my ass off in any way possible. (I am of the belief that any trip on any drug can turn bad, it depends on the circumstances). Anyway, HBW seeds seemed to be the easiest to get at the moment. Shrooms were actually harder to find: we would have to wait for them, so I came to the conclusion that we could trip on HBW seeds in the meantime.
I was thrilled at the thought of experiencing this milestone in A*'s mental evolution since she had never encountered any such mind altering drugs (besides our good friend Mary Jane) prior to this. This was truly going to be a great moment for her. In terms of myself, I pretty much knew what to expect: an enriching flood of assertions, a sense of well-being and understanding, a leap ahead in the race of knowledge; all catalyzed by the mind opening powers of 8 seeds. So excited.
In order to pass the time and to distract our almost menacing anticipations we decided to watch a movie. Fear and loathing in las vegas seemed to fit the genre of our pending state. Well, since neither of us had seen the movie, so that was the assumption; given that the only specifics that we knew of the movie were that it was drug involved. Well I would say that it wasn't the most positive movie to watch considering that Benicio del Toro and Johnny Depp lose total control of reality in a completely frightening and confusing way that is not the right representation of what was to become of us. Watch the movie. But not when youre about to trip.
After the movie was over A* and I came to 3 conclusions:
The first was that Fear and Loathing is the craziest movie ever. The second is that we felt uneasy and nauseous. The third, we had to smoke:
I knew we had to and so did A*. I had this rising feeling inside me that was enveloping my focus. This feeling was that I needed to vomit. My previous experience with all forms of tripping have all included this right of passage, so it was expected. Not only that but I had read numerous accounts that HBW are a double-edged sword in that they cause nausea. In what was becoming an overwhelming sense of physical unpleasantry I finally forced myself to get up. As we made our way to A*'s room to get the blunt I started to feel what can only be described as being 'drunk with nausea'. In the courtyard between my door and hers I had to stop several times thinking I was going to hurl right on the sidewalk. As other college students going about their nightly activites walked by I knew i had to get to the bathroom fast. It would have been assumed that I had too much to drink, given no one would suspect that the girl stumbling around the courtyard is acutally tripping on LSA. I knew that regardless it would cause trouble. That's just what i needed, to be in an ambulance puking and tripping...right.
When we made it into A*'s building I knew relief was coming, I just had to make it there. I must say, that phase before you actually throw up is by far worse than actually throwing up. Luckily, what seemed like a century later, as we walked up the stairs to A*'s room, the overwhelming sickness reached an unpleasant peak. 'Faster' I groaned to A* and we quickly ran up the stairs. I made my way drunkenly staggering in agony into the bathroom and let my pain out exorcist style into the toilet. Bye bye hot chocolate. Time to smoke.
We made it to the tree and agreed only to take a few rips each, so as not to defer the feel of the oncoming LSA. I took about 3 good rips and A* took a few more. As we made our way back to A*'s room we both started to feel a lot better.
As we sat down on the bed we both felt SO much better. And we didn't feel high at all either. We were tripping. As I layed there I fell into a zone of comfort. It reminded me of E: I was completely satisfied with just being. I lied there in my little world of happiness wondering if this trip was going to start becoming more mental, though I enjoyed the physical well being. Soon enough I knew this trip covered the spectrums, both physical and mental. So started my mental journey...
I remember looking at the clock, maybe around 12 or 1. This was about 4 hours after ingestion. From my readings I knew that HBW trips have a slow incline, rising towards one giant peak about 4 or 5 hours later and then a tapering off, whereas shrooms are more of a slight rise an hour after ingestion with a steadied peak that lasts straight 4-6 hrs and then a slow tapering. This was to be expected. We were reaching a strengthening peak. My analysis of living: I outlined it in brackets so that it may be skipped... since i don't expect what has meaning to me to have the same meaning to other readers, however i offer it nonetheless:
(((Basically my thoughts were pretty focused. My subconscious feeling of disconnection was surfacing. I can conclude this from my tripping desire to find a purpose. I thought univerally in terms of humans and what purpose they serve. My conclusion was that we exist to live, and to do exactly what we do, as we please. I used animals by example: they all have purposes, and are instinctively designed to do exactly what they do, exactly how they are, they just live. It becomes more complicatd as humans because we are given instincts to live naturally however we are also given free will and the ability to understand and alter our existance. I came to the conclusion that we are no different from animals in that our purpose is to do what comes naturally. Our scope of natural abilities is just more complex. I don't believe (like most other hippies) that exercising our complex abilities is wrong.
I am of the belief that we are given a life, and instincts and we should use them as a guide. Whatever it is that you instinctively feel you should do, is to be done. If it was not meant to be, then we wouldnt have the capability to do it. Animals do what they are intended to do. Otherwise they wouldn't do it. I believe that everything happens as it should, or it wouldn't happen. That is we can do no wrong as humans because we were given the capabilities do what we want. I took into consideration killing,etc. But i truly believe that if we lived as we were designed to do what we pleased in the most instinctive sense that things like that would not occur. In our most basic sense our instinctive goal is maintain ourselves physically and emotionally the best we can. I don't believe that those basic drives would lead us to do any wrong.
I used to wish to be an animal, that is to live without choice, to fit my designed program of instincts without worry. BEcause then i would do no wrong and live without the worries of wrong doing. But one thing i have taken away from this experience is that: i dont want to sacrifice my knowledge and my free will anymore. I am happy that humans can do whatever it is we please. There is no wrong.
And the final and most hypocritical conclusion was that analyzing is extremely overdone. Instinctively, we are meant to live emotionally and physically. Analyzation and its application can override our instinctive purpose to live. The only understanding we need is the understanding that we are. That's it. I felt that tripping gave me this understanding. And i hate to say it, i felt that tripping again, though most enjoyable and rewarding would be defiant of my conclusions. I don't need to trip anymore because what did i use tripping for? For furthering my understanding. However, this trip was the trip to end all trips. It gave me the final understanding, and for that I am grateful.)))
Now, I have no idea what time i eventually went to sleep but if i had to guess it was around 3am, 7 hours later, and i was still tripping when i fell asleep. The last thing i was doing was stairing at the pleasing visuals i was getting from staring at the Phish poster on A's wall and enjoying the sounds of Jimi Hendrix.
I woke up at 11:30am, not 100% normal. I forgot I was meeting my parents for lunch at noon! After a pleasant lunch with them i came back to my dorm and began writing this. Even as i sit here now my cognitive abilities don't appear to be top speed again. However at lunch i didn't feel apprehended by slowed mental and social connections. COnversation came naturally, though i was afraid my current state would leave me without much to talk about. Its now 3pm in the afternoon, the next day. My vision isn't even quite normal. A* drove home about 45mins, I hope she was able to focus on the road okay. If i stare too long i can see the visual remanents of the trip. Also there is a slower process of things cognitively like i said.
Overall I'd say the trip was a very enlightening experience, as all should be. I can't say that I won't definitely trip again, maybe once more to see if my conclusions from this trip are confirmed; that i don't need to trip any more.
HWB seeds are good, if you can stand the momentary sickness. My friend A* took 6 since it was her first go, and she didn't vomit though she did feel sick. Pot adefinitely helped A LOT.
If i do trip again, i don't know that HBW seeds are practical only because of the nausea. So for the first time it was bearable, and rewarding in the end. Overall HWB seeds get 4 stars.
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