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The Beauty of Nothing
Citation:   The Dude652342345. "The Beauty of Nothing: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp37301)". Mar 13, 2008.

  smoked 5-MeO-DMT (powder / crystals)
The journey I am about to describe took place while I was a freshman in college. Back then, I was in a rather severe state of depression, and was desperate to find a more joyful world perspective. This is why I was the only one who dared to smoke the super-hallucinogen 5-meo-dmt. I was in a friend's room, which was full of people. I was already somewhat inebriated, so I was kind of in an 'anything goes' state of mind. I decided not to restrain that mindset. Instead, I got the brilliant idea of smoking a shit load of 5-meo-dmt. I did this in my friend's room, and right in front of everybody.

The first hit gave me a nice psychedelic euphoria. I then decided to take an ever larger hit. This time it was far more intense and alien than I could have possibly imagined under normal circumstances. The only solid memory I have is that I fell down on the floor, and watched the room and my friends break up into static, much like what you would find on a television set that isn't tuned in to any channel. I have a vague memory of a complete white out occuring, during which I thought that I can either roll with it or fight it. I decided to roll with it.

After that, my thoughts ceased to exist, and my senses shut off completely. I could not hear, see, smell,taste or feel anything. When I say, 'I couldn't see', you shouldn't think that I was seeing blackness as a symbol of nothingness. I truly saw nothing. I ceased to have any memory of that sense. It was much like what a life-long blind person would see....NOTHING. Fortunately, despite the extreme sensory deprivation, I was still having a great experience. It almost seemed like I had a sixth sense that I could only access while on 5-meo-dmt. I entered a state of infinite bliss that was so incredible that it seemed totally impossible. I imagine that what I experienced is much like what Buddhists seek...Nibbana (Nirvana). The joy and ecstacy I felt was absolutely infinite.

I'm not sure how long I stayed that way, but I certainly had no sense of time. Then, the experience came to an abrupt halt and I sat up and saw the room and my friends. The experience was so jaw dropping that I couldn't speak for several minutes. The first words that came out of my mouth were, 'That was incredible!' Chris asked me if I remembered the experience, but I couldn't. The only way I could describe it was to say that the experience was completely impossible. My friends told me that after I took the hit I fell on the ground and began rolling around, practically to the point of convulsing. Apparently I had a happy look on my face during the whole experience.

So, that was my first 5-meo-dmt experience, but it doesn't end there. In the nights that followed, I had incrediby vivid lucid dreams. They were so lucid that each time I had one I became convinced that I had died. The most intriguing dream involved an inner female psychiatrist who wouldn't let me wake up unless I had a therapy session with her. This got me very upset. I felt trapped. But I accepted her authority and sat down to talk to her in a room that appeared to be exactly like my living room at home. In fact, the house we were in was exactly like my own home. The psychiatrist looked very much like Leah from Star Wars. She also had the ability to turn into large animals, mainly overgrown cats. She told me that I wasn't crazy, but that I did have severe anxiety issues. In order to help me resolve them, she took me back in time to go through each and every traumatic incident that had ever occured in my life. I was actually put directly into those situations and was able to change the outcomes.

After that was done, we visited the kitchen where I got to meet myself as an old man. His name was 'old age.' We talked for a bit, but then I woke up right in the middle of the conversation. When I awoke, I felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I usually have trouble getting up. This time, I had no trouble what so ever. I felt completely energized. I also felt relieved that I was still alive. Unfortunately, I felt that the dream had ended too abruptly. I felt like I still had work to do, and I was sure that I'd go back there the next time I fell asleep. To my dismay, it was never to be.

Still, I consider myself quite lucky to have had these experiences. I honestly think that the experiences helped me to become a better person. These life-altering memories will stay with me till the day I die. It's a good indication that death is not final, and therefore should not be feared. If it wasn't for these experiences, I'm sure that I would have become an atheist. Now, that can never happen. After these experiences, my belief in God has became intrinsic and intractable. My fear of life and death have been overcome. I'm now beginning to see what a beautiful universe we live in, and as long as I live, this faith shall never yield.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 37301
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 13, 2008Views: 15,461
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5-MeO-DMT (58), Dreams (85) : Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)

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