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The Magic Dies
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Sam
Citation:   Sam. "The Magic Dies: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp37134)". Erowid.org. Jan 24, 2008. erowid.org/exp/37134

  repeated oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
I first took E at a rave while in London with some uni friends. Nothing will top that first time dose, and our complete lack of expectance. I then took it every week/every other week. The hangovers were pretty non existant back then - I just felt a little speedy the next day.

E was the first illegal drug I had experimented with, after cannabis. I have now expereimented with many. The E trips helped liberate me, gave me more self confidence which lasted permanently. I was no longer so introverted, and for that, I will be eternally thankful.

I continued to use it once a week, always sticking to one pill apart from one time at a rave where I took 2. I was so high I could barely speak - nothing has topped that expereince. In only a few hours this feeling left and I began to feel drained. I was then so mentally drained that I didn't have the energy to talk to my friend. He suggested a half E top up - this had absolutely no effect. After this I made sure I only ever had one pill per week, maximum.

I then encountered different types of E's - stars, heinekens, and cherrys. Cherrys were very nice, intense (the only time I've ever expereinced the sudden E head rush) but they only lasted an hour or so, and afterwords I didn't feel nice - I actually began to get depressed. Star E's were nice - very strong in the releasing of inner feelings (would be very good for psychotherapy), but they were quite hallucinogenic - they definately weren't pure MDMA. Heinekens were nice in that they were subtle. I'm a firm believer that the more E's push you up, the more they drag you down afterwords. I could take Heineken's and not suffer much of a hangover. Until recently. I only took them once a fortnight or month.

I was already questioning whether a few hours of fun are worth the hangover afterwords. I always get a clouded, robotic feeling, like a lack emotions of any kind, good or bad. Not pleasent. The last E I took, 3 weeks ago, didn't produce any effect, and made me feel depressed for two days afterwords - something I had only expereinced a few times before.

That was, and will be the last E I ever take. I realised I was risking my own brain to have a few hours of fun, and I want my brain to last me - I'm going to need it. I also feel a lot happier now with out drugs than when I took E - I can have a laugh without being on anything - something I couldn't have done while taking E. I've decided to stick to a bit of alcohol, cannabis and psychedelics.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 37134
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 24, 2008Views: 6,280
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MDMA (3) : Not Applicable (38), Loss of Magic (34), Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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