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P is for Panic
by Miss Kitty
Citation:   Miss Kitty. "P is for Panic: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp3640)". Feb 14, 2001.

0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)


I went to my first rave in August of 2000. Everyone around me was 'rolling' and seemed to be having a blast. I've never been into drugs & therefore, have never been interested in trying them. I drink sometimes, but other than that, I'm pretty straight-edge. I left the rave because I felt out of place with all these smiling, happy people surrounding me. I was into the music, but not into the scene.

For my second raving experience, I was going with a group of about 9 good friends. Ironically, of the group of girls I was with, I was the only one with a hook-up for ecstasy. I bought an extra pill, as I had been seriously considering trying it.

On our way to the rave, my friends' pills started to kick in. One was exclaiming how AWESOME this roll was, while the other was slower to react to the drug. We arrived & on impulse, I bit the pill in half, chewed it up & tossed the other half.

We stood in line to buy tickets & about fifteen minutes later, a deliciously tingly feeling crept its way up from my toes to the top of my head. For less than five minutes, all was well. The music was awesome, people were awesome, ecstasy was awesome.

Then a serious heat wave crashed over my body. I began sweating heavily, but would be racked by immense chills every couple of minutes. After the heat & chills set in, I lost the warm fuzzies. I couldn't get into the music. I felt disjointed & out of control. I was so overwhelming hot & yet had goosebumps over my body. My perception was overwhelmingly choppy & I couldn't stand my incredibly happy friends.

I began walking around by myself in an attempt to get back in touch with everything. A hand reached out of the crowd & a guy pulled me towards him. He tried to pull me into a dark corner, when I resisted he tightened his grip & yanked harder. He broke my bracelet & bruised my wrist. I shoved him as hard as I could, turned & walked out of the rave as fast as I could.

Once I reached my car, I flipped on the loudest, most obnoxious metal I could find & twisted the nob on the a/c all the way to max. I placed my head against the steering wheel & forced myself to breathe my way thru a panic attack.

The next hour or so, feelings of anxiety surrounded me. They began lessening once I was home & disappeared all together once I sat & had a normal conversation with my mother.

I never experienced a hangover from it, or any feelings of depression. I've wanted to try it since, envious of everyone else's fabulous experiences. But, I'm afraid history will repeat itself and the fear always seems to outweigh the risk. At least enough to prevent me from dropping E again.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 3640
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 14, 2001Views: 5,682
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MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Difficult Experiences (5)

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