Citation: Straus. "Hallucinations with Full Awareness: An Experience with Cytisus scoparius (Scotch Broom) & Cannabis (Hashish) (exp35329)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2010. erowid.org/exp/35329
||Cannabis - Hash
| T+ 0:15
I was 15, and I was in a mild depressed state. I had recently overcome obsessive-compulsive disorder, and everyday I looked for something to fill the void. After binging on alcohol and marijuana for basically months, just taking a few days off at a time, I began to notice auditory hallucinations that occured all the time. I would always hear footsteps, people calling my name, people walking around in my yard, my yard's gate being open, and other sounds at times where my parents were at work all day, and no one being in the house at all. A pretty bad mental state I suppose.
Me and my friend had collected scotch broom flowers (active ingredient: cytisus) because we had heard it was a hallucinogen. After trying all methods of smoking it, we felt usually nothing more than a headrush, or a few visual disturbances out of the corner out of our eyes. It made marijuana look like LSD. At this time I was in a better mindset. I had not quite shut off my obsessive-compulsiveness, but I had been progressing with dealing with it, and raising my self-esteem and losing my intense paranoia. Bad things started to happen in my life, and I intensively attacked my mind for having OCD. It eventually just stopped.
A few months later, while finished smoking half a gram of hash oil, I was relatively high, and I wanted to find some more in desperate fear that I would burn out and return to reality. I found some extract that we had made from the broom flowers, and put it in my pipe. All of a sudden, I noticed after every toke I felt less stoned, like a huge sobriety surge. I felt completely sober (which is strange after consuming 1/2 gram of hash oil 15 minutes before). I felt intensely calm, and then the hallucinations started.
I lost depth perception rapidly, everything looked two-dimensional. I looked at things on my floor and stared in wonder. Things began to show emotion and feeling. It was as if I saw behind every object, as if they were as personifed as people. It was rather beautiful, and so was everything in my room. Intense vision trails followed, and everything was just plain weird. No more golden age, just a meaningless mass of stuff. Trash. That sums up the middle part of the experience. I was unable to feel fear for some reason, until a gun floated up to my window and fired. Thats when I began to regain depth perception and intense fear. Meaninglessness turned to meaning. Things started to pop up out of my vision. Jim Morrison was no longer holding a dog. I regained emotion. I became scared. The depth perception was back. I stared at the computer screen until it was all over. I ignored everything. All I felt was fear.
For about half an hour after that I heard random voices. Then I burnt out, and felt nothing but fear. The experience was somber, and intense. A song I can relate it to is Brain Damage by Pink Floyd.
This was a horrible, confusing experience, and it left me no new realisations as I thought hallucinations would. This felt like a complete mental decomposition, and all of it sloppily thrown together again.
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