Lookin For My Miracle
Citation:   Anushka. "Lookin For My Miracle: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp3432)". Erowid.org. Oct 23, 2000. erowid.org/exp/3432

1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
It was a Friday night and a male friend of mine picked me up from my house (about 7pm). He said that we were going to go to a small fast food place to 'pick up' - which ment get E - . I had rolled about 2 weeks before that and had had a good time, so I decided to prepare my mind for a really clear X-perience. I tired to expell all negative vibes in my body by tensing up differnt parts of my body and relaxing them in about 10 seconds. I went from head down to toes while I lay in the car seat in reclined position. I felt very at ease.

We got to the place and another friend (female) was there to meet us. She had high-quality marijuana and we smoked it in the parking lot in the car while waiting for the delivery (about 7:45). I felt a strong 'head-change' and was more aware of the music we were listening to. It was trance (a kind of techno) and all the different patterns were getting noticed in my mind one by one. I sat enjoying this for about 10 minutes. I got my small pill and took it with a gulp of water. I knew we would be off on our adventure, so I prepared myself with a big bottle of water, glow sticks to keep me entertained in the car, and a binky (pacifire) because I tend to get really bad lock-jaw at my peak.

A girl that I had never met before, but is a good friend of my male friend who was driving came along. The people who were on E were my female friend, the girl and myself. The new girl sat in the back with me while I waited for my pill to kick in. We all decided to go to this rave where there were supposed to be really good visuals. About 15 minutes later, I started to feel very relaxed and at ease. All the problems of my past week drifted away and the muscle excersises I did previously made my muscles relax. This was at about 8:15 or so. The music in the car had a really strong bass line and the vibrations were going into my hands that were on each side of me. A kind of undescribable 'traveling' sound was coming up louder and louder in the music as if someone was falling in a tunnel. As soon as it reached the climax of that song, I started to feel really strong vibrations going up my spine and into my brain. It felt like someone was 'plucking' my brain and it was wonderful. I looked over to the girl I had just met next to me and I realized how beautiful she was. I am bi-sexual, but I had never really acted upon any feelings I had for other women. I closed my eyes and put my head down on my knees. I really enjoyed the feeling of my head against my knees as if I was menting into pure love for this girl.

(about 8:45) We get to the rave and there are kids every where. I felt like some one pulled some strings in me up like a marionette and I was AWAKE. I stepped out of the car and the earth beneath my feet made me feel very 'at home' as if I was a child re-born from mother Earth's womb. My female friend and I walked ahead of everyone else (due to having so much energy). We talked about how much we loved music and I realized that I had a very strong bond with her. She made me very happy and I gave her a big hug. I felt very content with it and almost sisterly. We stepped into the rave scene and i felt like I had just walked though a time-warp. The music made me very happy to be alive. I took the girl I didn't know by the hand and we went to dance. I don't think I had ever had such a fun time dancing. I didn't care how others thought of me, nor did I care who they were, where they came from, what they wore, etc. I danced with this girl for about an hour and a half straight untill my muscles were telling me to stop. The girl and I went down strairs to the chill-out room where some really phat trance beats were playing. They had these beautiful visuals projected on the screen of peoples eyes. I then looked into the girls eyes and they made me want to dive into them because they were so deep and green. I felt strongly connected to her so I took her hand and put it to my heart for her to know that I am alive. We talked for about half an hour (it's about 10 pm now) about the most amazing things. I felt my mind swell with knowledge about her. She told me that she felt close to me and so we kissed for a few minutes. It felt like something foreign had intruded into me. But at the same time, it felt good, so I stayed.

All 4 of us danced all night and had a lot of fun drawing with markers all over us and sniffing vicks. The markers where like answers to my questions in life. As if everything is too serious, and I need to return to my childhood. I felt at home with this girl in my childish state of mind. Everything was simpler to think about and I felt like I floated away to a cloud. I had found my miracle.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 3432
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 23, 2000Views: 4,316
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MDMA (3) : Various (28), General (1)

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