Have you had an experience with
Peyote, San Pedro, or Synthetic Mescaline?
Help out researchers at Maastricht University and...
Take this Survey!
Too Easy To Fall In
Cocaine
by Mr. Clean
Citation:   Mr. Clean. "Too Easy To Fall In: An Experience with Cocaine (exp34256)". Erowid.org. Dec 12, 2007. erowid.org/exp/34256

 
DOSE:
  repeated insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb


These are my experiences with coke, first a little background.

Most people start young, I didn't really do anything until I was 18 and working, so I already had a fair bit of life experience before trying any drugs. I became an avid pothead for about 3 years, and they were the best years of my life in many ways! I wish I could go back, but coke changed it all.

I had tried a line here and there in the end of high school, but I didn't buy any until the fall of 2002 when I had a good job and my pot dealer could get me blow regularly and it was easy. So I bought some. I was so excited about finally having my own stash to try, and the first little line or two I took it easy, and only felt the effects a little bit.

Then I took a gagger (a fat rail) and it hit me fully for the first time ever. 'Go' by Moby was on my stereo, and my heart started beating to the beat. I felt so alive, I can't remember but I think I danced around my room for a bit. Then I snorted another line and sat back with my guitar. I played some of the best riffs I've ever come up with, I never had that much creative energy when smoking pot. Then I settled down as I had work the next day and I did not want any kind of hangover. I remember feeling euphoric the next couple days at work, kinda like the big man around the job. I got in the habit of having one or two lines after work, and that was it. Just to feel it's effects and 'experiment' in my mind. I told myself I was only going to buy one 8 ball (3.5 grams) and that would be it.

Well my mom was getting on my nerves, and I decided to buy a second ball when the first ran out. That's when the trouble started. I started taking a line after my mom would fight with me, to forget about the bullshit and feel better. It helped and she calmed down, and I was doing really well at work. This went on for a little while and I felt fine, a couple times taking the train to work in the morning I still felt mashed from the night before, but rarely did it affect my work.

Two things happened to me that scared the shit out of me. I was staying in a motel once and I had work the next day. I didn't even realize the time fly by, but all the sudden I looked up and it was 5 in the morning and I was still doing rails. I tried so hard to look sober at work, and I don't think anyone noticed, but it scared me. Another time I had to go pick up a relative on short notice, and I was already fried, and I was starting to sketch out while driving. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] I'd rather not repeat everything that happened but the whole event made me see myself from other peoples eyes. It scared the shit out of me. I never bought it again after that. I did finish what I had though.

Since then I haven't been able to smoke pot, and it took me almost a year to feel 'normal' around people again. I never had an addictive personality before this experience, but it really changed me. It's been over a year and a half since I touched the stuff, and every once in a while I think about it and my heart starts to beat. I could get it in a second if I wanted it, but I don't. In the long run the only thing coke gave me was a long lasting headache. Many people will tell you it's very bad, but when you try it you think 'Hey, this doesn't affect me that much' but it's a habit, and once it's in you it's hard to get out.

I'm glad I came out clean, I've got the same job still and it's going great, and my life is really starting to come together piece by piece. I wish I could say the same for friends of mine that got caught in the same trap.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 34256
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 12, 2007Views: 6,051
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults