Citation: Anonymous. "Non-abuse Over Time: An Experience with Amphetamines (Dextroamphetamine) (exp34099)". Erowid.org. Nov 28, 2006. erowid.org/exp/34099
Being a student in a large public university, my college experience has been one of experimentation (name it..pretty much everything save for pcp, crack, and heroin). My first experience with stimulants came by way of a friend who successfully faked ADHD to a psychiatrist to obtain Ritalin. Among college students this practice is in vogue, as it's not exceedingly difficult to fake a condition dependent on fidgeting and a lack of attention. Personally I don't feel I faked my condition at all - I am who I am - the doctor just gave me a label which gives me the green-light for schedule II stimulants and will inevitably increase my cost of health & life insurance down the road.
Prior to having my own prescription, I took Dexedrine once or twice a week on my 'full' study days - those in which I planned on staying in the library most of the day. Dexedrine, taken initially at doses of 15 mg with a 5-7.5 mg booster 2-3 hours in, yielded mild euphoria as it kicked in, as well as a sense of purpose and increased drive. Not only did I feel intellectually capable of doing homework, I wanted to do it. The intial euphoric drive lasted for a few hours but eventually mellowed to a calm sense of purpose and the simple feeling of 'I can do this now while I'm medicated and it will be easier to deal with, or I can put it off and do it later - I'll choose the former'.
A summary of the numerous effects which accompanied a general mental clarity and lack of fatigue are as follows: I fidget less. I feel more physically grounded and 'centered' - which I'd describe as a precise, calm, physical feeling of being more coordinated - essentially the polar opposite being sloppy drunk. I have little desire to eat and increased committment to dieting and eating responsibly. I also find I have a tendency to drive in a safer and more responsible manner - I drive less aggressively and am bothered less by the driving slights of others.
At higher doses, the initial euphoria is more pronounced, but so are the effects on personality. My personality is 'blunted' somewhat, I feel more constricted with my words and unwilling to partake in casual conversation. I feel less verbally spontaneous. I don't sing with the radio in the car as much; I just feel verbally tied down. It's a feeling that would be a completely appropriate treatment for a person who was impuslive with their words and spoke without thinking - the medication works. Tunnel vision also sets in, a feeling of being locked-on forward, focused on where you're going, unconcerned about whatever drivel was occuring in the periphery. However, although the urge to look around is reduced, a sense of increased awareness of one's surroundings is felt. It feels as if your brain is processing everything going on around you, but environmental details do not invade conscious thought unless they're particularly relevant to the task at hand.
The higher dosage range also produced increased feelings of mental and physical superiority, as clarity of thought as well as movement are enhanced. Invariably, studies have shown that amphetamines boost physical performance and I can attest to that fact as well. In the gym, I can perform more exercises at increased weight for additional reps for long periods of time without feeling fatigued. The only give-away is that I tend to heat up and sweat significantly more while exercising.
Fast-forward two years. I now have my own prescription which provides 35 mgs per day. Tolerance to Dexedrine has developed over time to the point where 35 mgs over a day feels less strong than 25 mgs did in the early days. When I first got the prescription my usage patterns didn't change, still 1-2 days a week. Then work for finals started to ramp up and usage increased to 3-5 days per week. The increased availability of the drug as well the increased usefulness of it (with a heavier schedule) worked hand in hand to increase the frequency of use. As insomnia has continually been a part of the dexedrine experience, I began to go through a bottle of vodka every two weeks just to fall asleep at night. Without 4 shots, sleep only came around 4 or 5 am and consisted of a few hours of marginal sleep.
After finals finished, a period of abstinence was implemented. This was not at all difficult to do since I never took Dexedrine with the sole intent of 'getting high'. Unlike Ritalin, I've never snorted Dexedrine. I've also never taken Dexedrine to pull all-nighters. However when I did snort Ritalin, it produced a high indistinguishable from cocaine with the exception that it lasted much longer and produced a much more pronounced come-down. 'Getting high' with low doses of dexedrine orally is not possible, my doctor tells me. The slight euphoria is viewed as a side effect of the increase in drive and focus which the medications are prescribed for. With the increased frequency of use, the mild euphoric effects of the medication are diminished so that only a feeling of increased 'seriousness' is felt when I pop my pills. It would probably take a lot orally to feel the near-day-long euphoria I initially felt from Dexedrine.
So where are we at now? Following the period of abstinence from stimulants of all kinds (including coffee), I became aware of why so many Americans are habitual stimulant addicts (read coffee drinkers). Without stimulants, getting your brain to work in the morning is a pain in the ass. I generally feel tired and unmotivated. The afternoon always produced increased focus and energy, following the up-swing of the body's circadian rhythms, but the morning is a killer. I thought that after abstaining for some period of time I would have more energy and clarity of thought - getting back to basics and just letting my body do its thing naturally. But this hasn't been the case.
Rather, a mild dependency has developed. I realize that it is easier to study and perform intellectual tasks with the medication, so I'll take it if I've got a lot of work to do. If I am at home relaxing for the day, I won't take it. I like my personality better when I'm not taking Dexedrine, if I don't have to be productive that is. So given that I have no urge to take it recreationally, I wouldn't say I'm addicted to it, but dependence has developed. I can do intellectual work and study without Dexedrine, but its just as much of a pain in the ass as it was before I started meds, compounded by the knowledge that a pill I possess could change my attitude in 45 minutes. Given that, I would say its definetly accurate to say that the medication can produce dependency, and in that way, is addictive. I know I could quit taking Dexedrine forever, however I'd probably just get my performance-fix from coffee.
But I wouldn't change my experiences with Dexedrine nor do I feel bad about them. My academic performance since beginning Dexedrine has increased substantially, with a 4.0 GPA the norm and class-wide high-scores on exams not uncommon (5 out of the 12 exams this term). My friends expect me to get the highest scores and cute girls seek me out to study with. I've always been intelligent, Dexedrine just allowed me to focus my energy in a more productive manner. I am accomplishing more of my goals and feel more dedicated to whatever I do. I procrastinate less and even feel less of an urge to do drugs or drink alcohol. Which is where I'll leave this report, with the drug and alcohol interactions I've noticed.
Dexedrine with alcohol - The more Dexedrine in my system, the less I will feel the effects of alcohol. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Dexedrine will keep me awake during a night of hard drinking if I was tired starting out, but it also makes it hard to get drunk. By the time I start to feel drunk, I’ve generally had so much alcohol my memory starts to go – not good. But regulating my drinking and reaching the right level of drunkenness will leave me feeling drunk as well as being verbally composed, articulate, and sharp.
Dexedrine with marijuana – Feels pretty good. Marijuana can take the edge off of stimulants as they wear down. Dexedrine also takes away a lot of the fatigue and confusion marijuana can cause. I feel high but not stoned. Marijuana also helps increase appetite in the face of Dexedrine-induced anorexia.
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