Citation: aeonaeonaeon. "First Open-eye Visual: An Experience with 4-Ho-DiPT (exp33440)". Erowid.org. Jun 16, 2004. erowid.org/exp/33440
||(powder / crystals)
I planned on trying this on 5/3 but decided not to. On that night, the I Ching said 'This is a good moment for communicating your deepest thoughts', but also said the situation would be propitious after the full moon. So, for other reasons as well, I waited.
The store closed where I worked, the week before. My roommate, who is the closest person to me, is moving away in July, and I also have to find a place to live then. And get a job before then. I've been depressed about that, and missing working with some people. So basically, this trip's purpose (if I had to give it one) was to remind me of whatever I needed to be reminded of, to hopefully stop negative thought patterns from overtaking me.
This is from my trip notebook:
5/4/04, 10:41 P.M.
Almost exactly 1 day from 'almost-trip'. I'm ready tonight, though. It's fairly cold (weather). Today was spent applying at a job and shopping and spending time with my roommate. The only thing ingested in the past 6-7 hours has been a banana and prune juice. Stomach rumbling, but oh well, I'll make it. More positive mindset than last night.
(I Ching reading, 22 Decoration. No change? Or maybe the situation doesn't change, I change?)
Ingested 14-18 milligrams of 4-HO-DiPT. A little nervous, physically. That scale seems not to be accurate (NOTE: I use a scale that measures in increments of 2 milligrams), but maybe the powder is also between even numbers, making it more difficult. I'll be okay.
Kundalini warmth, bottom of spine. Thoughts spinning. This stuff is fast.
Anxious, nervous. This is HAPPENING. Thoughts rebound and again, everywhere. Is there any peace? Whatever happens, happens. So fast.
Feels a lot like what happened on 4-AcO-DiPT. Anyway, really jittery. Mostly cause this happened so fast. I mean MY GOD I'm almost peaking.
feel good, time nonexistant thought stream delicious. Everything is H U G E. I can hear the music rebounding off the walls, I keep remembering stuff that I forget in daily life.
Went outside to piss and stared at the plants. They were DANCING it seemed like. Crazy.
The wood (fake wood?) walls ARE ALIVE, MOVING WITH THE MUSIC. 'The Old Ones'? Thoughts?
Watched the wood, wow. Eyes dialated. Yeah. This is very interesting.
Seems to be dissipating some...but still feel incredibly alive. So silly how it is necessary for a chemical to get me here. I can do it on my own. There is nothing to do, it's just there. That inescapable, that unutterable...so pregnant with meaning!
Sublime. Ate a banana, tasted/looked like yogurt and ice cream. Wish I could honor it, for it gave its life for me! Everything is so connected. Now I need more words to write what I feel. Ha! The more peaceful I get, the more words mean. Until all I need to say is nothing, and WOW.
Lots of gastric disturbance, both from digesting banana and from some blocked up energy (I created the blocks in early childhood?).
Mentally almost sober, still really focused. Kundalini fused my 6th and 7th chakras and I began to become 1 melting thing. My legs were seriously one leg! I bet at higher doses, this might be a 'perfect' psychedelic. Not in any ultimate spiritual sense (although that is present) but just an overall trip. I don't know. But this is very interesting. Maybe, like April talked about (a conversation from work), I'm consciously and unconsciously changing my sexual orientation. Or, more like not focusing on it, so I can be at peace alone. Thats what I've been thinking. And 'Sacred Journey 2' by Kitaro seemed to be THE ABSOLUTE SONG.
Wow, just stared at that piece of wood. I ate some chips and watched part of 'Celine and Julie Go Boating'. I am tired but really want to see the rest! My mindset is definitely open still, but that isn't necessarily the chemical, just what the chemical opened up. All in all, really cool. In the best way.
(end trip notebook)
The day after, I felt at peace. In a subtle way. This chemical moves through my body so fast, I was actually tripping 5-10 minutes after swallowing it in a glass of prune juice. That, I think, is what made it so rocky for me, coming up. Somewhat of a rush. The visual aspect was amazing, I had never had OEV before. The plants danced, I could see them moving. But only a certain group of plants, everything else looked normal. And when I went inside, ONLY the wooden wall I faced was moving, specifically a piece of wood leaning against the wall. I could never describe it accurately, how it moved. It was alive, though. Like a cartoon, but nothing like it visually. Just the way some cartoons 'flow'. At the time I started seeing the wall move, a voice in my head said something about 'The Old Ones'. I had no idea what that meant; I thought it was an H.P. Lovecraft reference. But that doesn't make sense, it certainly didn't have any of the flavour of his writing. I guess maybe my eyes were seeing something that we all see as infants and small children. Or maybe even before being born.
Whatever it was, it was SO beautiful. I tried to compare it to films I've seen or paintings or drawings, saying 'Oh, it's not as amazing'. But I realized it was something totally different, there was no comparison. Well, enough raving about visions.
For 3 days afterwords, I had very bad gas, lots of it. This could be due to something I ate (there are a couple suspects, nothing definite), but 4-HO-DiPT might have done it as well.
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