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Dope Love
Citation:   Pharm. "Dope Love: An Experience with Opiates (exp33368)". Erowid.org. Oct 22, 2006. erowid.org/exp/33368

  repeated insufflated Opiates
    repeated oral Opiates
I fell in
Into oblivion
I gave in
Now I'm here until the end

Okay, that little rhyme doesnít accurately describe my experience, but it gets the point across. I can still remember my first time doing opiates, the time that opened my heart and my mind to them.

I'd been hanging out with this guy who had done a lot of drugs before, and he'd told me about Lortabs and Percs. He said good things about them, but neither of us had a way to get any, so I just forgot about them. Then about a month later, I had to get my wisdom teeth removed, all 4 at once. After about a damn hour of sitting in the waiting room, I got called into the orthodontistís office/room thing where the chair and all that crazy stuff is at. They laid me down, told me to relax, that this would hurt afterwards more than it would during the procedure. So I sat there and chilled until his assistant came in with a needle and show me up with something or other that they told me was a painkiller/anesthetic I still cant remember if it was opiate-based or not.

A few minutes passed with nothing happening, so I turned and asked the lady when they were going to take my teeth out. She laughed and told me they just did. That was nuts man, I was completely knocked out. The painkiller still lingered, but I remembered what the dude said about the pain afterwards, so when I got home, I promptly cracked open the prescription of medication they gave me, called Maxidone. This was way before I'd established a drug encyclopedia in my head, so I got online and looked it up. Lo and behold, turns out Lortab and Maxidone are just brand names for Hydrocodone. So I basically had the fabled Lortabs Matt had told me about. With a big grin on my face, I swallowed two of the 7.5 hydros, washed them down with two or three beers, took an ibuprofen cause I got a scrip of that too, and smoked a few bowls.

Needless to say, I was straight up gone. I took all 25 of those beautiful little things within a week. I loved the feeling, loved the easy, simple high. No crazy revelations like acid or random bursts of paranoia like weed. Just a peaceful, easy chill. Funny, I took two 10mg Maxidones tonight too. Itís like everything came full circle tonight. Well, after that scrip ran out, I concluded that opiates are amazing. I used them on and off for the following year, mostly hydrocodones, codiene(tylenol 3), Darvocets, a few demerols, and a few oxycodones.

Once I got an entire scrip of 30 vicodins from this girl cause she said they just put her to sleep. Only had to give her a dollar, cause she needed lunch money, otherwise I would have gotten them free. If only miracles like that happened more often. So after on and off use of dope pills, December of 2003 rolled around. A month I wont ever forget or remember very well either damnit. My friend Ben broke his hand or wrist or something and got an insane amount of Tylenol 3's for it, and some 5mg hydrocodones. I ended up buying them all, a dollar each. Another miracle I suppose. I also stole two scripts of 5mg hydros from some people I was dogsitting for. And another scrip of 7.5 mg hydros from someone I was babysitting for. I had way over 100 dope pills. I binged man, and binged hard. I'd go to school high. I'd go everywhere high, but I prefer doing dope at night, so I tried to reserve most of them for that. I was so high that whole month. That was the first time I actually faded out, or 'nodded' as some people say.

I had to eat 30mgs of hydrocodone to do so of course but it was nice. However, constipation and diarrhea, bloody shits, and a near-overdose of the tylenol in the hydros pissed me off. I wanted the high without the health risk. I ate almost all those pills by the end of the month fiended when I ran out, got 16 more from my friend M, used them to slowly withdraw. But that month gave a bitch of a tolerance man. Thatís why I ate 30mgs and all that, just so I could get high. About 2 weeks after I'd stopped the binge, say, late january, I got a morphine from a friend. I was all excited, it was the closest thing to heroin, which I could get, but was still hesitant about.

I got all ready, ate that thing....didnít feel shit. Mostly because of my tolerance. I realize now that it was also extended release, so I should have chewed it first. Oh well, taking that risk opened my mind to the ultimate one. I never got around to taking that risk though, until one random day we had bomb threat at school, and the same person who got the morphine walked up and offered me some bomb ass dope. I got up with him later that day, paid 20 for a cap of cut dope. I did half with my friend and half to myself, up the nosehole. Again, didnít feel shit. Neither did my friend, well he felt something, but he had no tolerance for opiates.

Heroin, the ultimate high, the scourge of society, and I didnít get shit out of it. Most people would say fuck it and move on with their lives. I decided since I already took the first step, I might as well fucking get the real deal. I bought 3 caps, and did a whole one. The difference between a half cap and a whole cap is insane. It wasnít quite as great as I hoped, but it was cut. This was only about a month ago, probably less. I did a few more caps, one with my best friend since kindergarten. We both werenít really that impressed, but heroin has always been taboo for us, so we decided we want to get REALLY high. I mean, oxycontins were better than the caps. So I got a $75 bag of raw dope one Friday, and we each did some, couldnít really tell how much, just two small lines each. Then we went to where I work at, a bomb ass mexican restraunt.

I donít like eating on dope, but when Iím at the resturant, I cant resist. My friend made the mistake of sipping his girl's margarita. He then ran to the bathroom and retched. We got back in his car, sat back and enjoyed it. We then did a little more raw and straight chilled. I finally got the high I wanted man. Thank God. But where thereís good, thereís bad. Natures always got balance. Since that first raw experience, I've done alot more caps, got into some OCs, snorted them for the first time. Gotta say, thatís a great feeling. Chewing them is overall better, but I love the whole snorting process. Its all led up to last Wednesday, where I was trying to cop some more OCs and couldnít, so I came home from work and snorted one.

I take Adderall on the weekdays so I can do good in school, and I didnít like the idea of mixing uppers and downers, but I was feeling to fiendish to resist. In fact, I wrote a report on here about it, hope it gets put on here, and this one too. But anyway, this is getting way too long.

Since then, I've done OCs, caps, or raw dope everynight for 7 days. Bad idea man, my tolerance has skyrocketed again. Today is Wednesday. Monday I was going to stop, but my inner fiend busted out, and I did an OC. So yesterday I told myself Id not do any dope that night. My fiend got out again and I did a cap. Neither time was good at all, cause of my tolerance, but I didnít want withdraws, I could feel them coming on.

So today I promised myself I wouldnít do any dope, except some hydrocodones to help not go straight cold turkey. And I did it. Woohoo. Strange, even after al that dope, they hydros still got me kind of high. Not what I wanted, but its cool with me. This is my last week on opiates for a few weeks. Or so Iím telling myself. The last two nights scared me. I donít think I'm addicted, but I damn well think I'm on my way. Somebody wise once said that the things we love most are the things which destroy us. I can see that applied to this situation.

Unless I completely withdraw myself from my current social hell, geographic situation, thereís almost no way Iím going to be able to stop. Cut back maybe, but dope has become a part of my life now. I love it, but I donít love the fact that itís so normal now. Iím gonna work on cutting back, wish me luck man. I donít want to end up just another junkie, living from fix to fix.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 33368
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 22, 2006Views: 14,712
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Opiates (207) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

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