Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: MaybEtard. "So Beautiful: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp32521)". Erowid.org. Jun 19, 2006. erowid.org/exp/32521
This is the account of my first experience with mushrooms. I consumed 1.5 grams of Psylocybe Cubensis, two stems and a small cap. What I expected is a very light experience, but what I got almost approached a level three trip.
My experience with drugs includes several years of occasional cannabis use, seven or eight times on MDMA, a single LSD trip, four LSA trips, several strong DXM trips, several Ketamine explorations, methamphetamine, opium, various opiates, and other non traditional substances which were generally for the purpose of being fucked up rather then enlightened. Of all these substances I found MDMA the most enlightening and life changing. However, having experienced mushrooms yesterday, I will admit that it was my second favorite experience to MDMA.
To prepare, I re-read everything I could find on mushrooms. I have been fascinated with the substance for years, but only now I was able to acquire a dose. I also ate very little that day, mostly vegetables and fruits, to ensure the lack of grease. The Mesoamericans who consumed mushrooms refrained from sexual release as well, but I did not. I didn’t feel like this made the trip worse or anything. The lack of food in my stomach, made the shrooms act very quickly and perhaps more intensely then I originally anticipated. The set that day was very positive. I felt very excited, but I began feeling the coming of a cold and I was somewhat tired. Perhaps it was not the best day to take mushrooms for the first time, but like all matters of enlightenment, it was unexpected and though uncalled for, wondrous and beautiful.
T+0:00- I consumed my dose. The stems tasted better then the mushrooms most people eat in their food. The caps tasted a bit like HBWR seeds- not very good, but totally consumable. I experienced a few instances of burping, but probably from the air I swallowed drinking two cups of water to chase the shrooms. I put a piece of gum in my mouth right afterwards. About ten minutes later, I began to feel a slight hilarity.
I chose to spend the night hanging out with my friend J, who was sober at the time. Part of me thought that it would be good to have a sitter. We went to the student union for her to get food. On the way there, I began to feel the body buzz and as a few minutes progressed, it became more and more strong. I felt very euphoric and excited. When we sat down, I noticed that sitting felt amazing. Every breath felt so good and life saving. I looked around me, and every few seconds, my body buzz increased and I began to see twinkles around lights. Lights appeared brighter and the composite of them formed a beautiful pattern. I looked at J as we talked about things. Her eye shadow had sparkles in it and it shined as she moved and spoke.
Her voice sounded very high pitched and different. My own voice sounded different, as though we were in a small room instead of a huge dining hall. We talked about many things. The notable few which I remember was me telling her that it’s ok to get older and no use in wishing she was perpetually young. I realized that I have no issues with getting older. I want to get older, I want to see the man that I will become. Then, I noticed that J looked like she was about 6 meters away which we were less then a meter from each other. It became difficult to judge distances. The space around me seemed to be changing. It is as though everything looked soft and malleable. I felt like I could alter this soft clay reality with my thoughts alone.
I looked about and I saw my ex-bf walking around. He looked very beautiful, but I didn’t feel any emotional attraction, which led me to feel that I have grown. Then I thought about an ex-bf who I was in love with, and again, the reaffirming feeling that the strong feeling of love had passed and now the feelings I had for him were compassionate, those of empathy and care, but the sexual desire of lust and love was not there, it hadn’t been for over a year. I thought about my current bf, and I was pleased. I told J that I want to see where things go with him. After this, was the one time I felt paranoia, which I quickly laughed off.
J was looking at the people behind me, who probably heard every word I was saying and looking at us weird. I felt watched for a moment and then realized, “I am so lucky to be having this experience at this moment, and anyone who chooses to look down at those who would consume psychedelics are just ignorant to the experiences of other people.” A lot of this coming trip would feel very thematic in breaking stereotypes and noticing that many of the things I do and say still adhere to stereotypes and schemas of my brain. The shrooms allowed me to see past that.
T+1:00- Only one hour since dosing, I thought it was time to leave that dining hall. I then checked my watch and noticed that only 40 minutes in that place had passed. It felt like hours. This is when I entered the peak of my experience. The realization that time was passing by so slowly made me amazed. J went to get a smoothie and we walked around the building for a while. Every person I looked at appeared so beautiful. So detailed. Every color scheme was so perfect and defined. Looking at my hands, I noticed a strong trailing effect, which I remembered from my experience with LSD. It was amazing. I felt so wonderful.
Life felt so right for the first time in a while. I felt my body with the greatest sensitivity. I could hear every sound around me simultaneously. It was not at all overwhelming but awesome. On the walk back to the dorm, I looked around me and everything looked so beautiful again. I smoked a cigarette and it tasted and felt so good. It was an incredible new sensation. When I looked at anything and felt anything, I experienced it for the first time. I remembered Aldous Huxley’s “Doors of Perception”. He wondered what it was like for Adam and Eve to see the Garden of Eden for the first time. It was like this. Seeing the world for the first time as a place of wonder and beauty. The simplest things were so beautiful. It felt so easy to get distracted, as patterning occurred in the periphery of my vision. If I stared at any object long enough, it began to discombobulate, breathe, and seem very soft.
T+1:30- I was now in J’s room. We just sat, talked more, and listened to music. It was awesome. Every piece of music she played sounded so beautiful. I could hear the essence of the music rather then the words. The words were irrelevant. It was then that I closed my eyes for a few minutes (which felt like hours and hours) to observe the closed eye visuals. I was presented with the most elaborate CEVs I had ever experienced. I could see through my closed eyes, my entire body in this dark green. My hands still trailed with my eyes closed. There were little objects dancing to the music and to every sound around me, penetrating through me.
I began to see three dimensional objects as well, but they were very faint. They were faces, faces of Native Americans or Asians. They were young and beautiful and smiling. It was awesome. With my eyes closed, J’s carpet appeared to be shifting and swimming all over the floor. When I looked at the Edward Gorey poster, “The Gashleycrumb Tinies”, I could see every story act itself out. I did not think that the stories were all about little kids dying, but about people doing things. His etching style appeared ingenious. His depictions of water were so life like, that I saw the water moving and waving around.
T+2:00- I decided to go outside for a cigarette. I found that my body felt very light and dancing was very easy. As I stood outside, hilarity upon hilarity came over me. I had to restrain myself from laughing at everything I saw. I did not have the urge to laugh because everything was funny, but because it was so beautiful and amazing. When people walked by, it seemed like their quick legs were in another dimension, and their torsos were slower.
People left amazing long trails behind them, which was very entertaining to watch. I also noticed a great increase in empathy. I could feel what it is like to be other people. Just like on MDMA. It was very positive. When I went back inside, I thought of the use of space and how inefficiently my dorm building uses large amounts of space, which could be used to improve the quality of our rooms. When I returned to J’s room, R was there and she asked me how I was feeling.
I told her that I felt great and amazing and that this experience is like a pleasant surprise. Her hair looked so soft. I looked at J and her face looked as though she was her mother, whom I met only once. It was fascinating. When I looked in the mirror at myself, I appeared to be blending in with my background, because of the incandescent lighting in the room. As I sat on the carpet, feeling its softness and the wonder of my own skin, J’s room appeared to be converging on me(but not in a frightening way, I could see the colors so distinctly). At one point, R and J appeared to be glowing and I could see their auras very clearly. I was amazed and I laughed.
T+3:00- After my second trip outside for a cigarette, I was in the elevator and I imagined my bf being there. I almost collapsed from how beautiful he was, in my memory of him. I was very pleased. Now, L was in J’s room, and L looked to interesting. Then, I ate a cookie and had a glass of milk. A sweat came over me, and I knew that I was now over the peak and coming down rather quickly. I felt so joyous. I danced and talked to my mother on the phone, her voice evoking memories in me and my thoughts dissecting everything she was saying. On the one side, I was upset to hear her voice because she was not happy, on the other hand I was glad to talk to her. Only recently I had told her about my experiences with drugs, but I couldn’t tell her, “Hey mom, I’m tripping on shrooms right now.” When I got back in the room, I noticed that my comedown had reached a plateau. I stayed there for another hour and then they got drunk and went to a club. I was too tired and was still experiencing a slight body buzz and mild visual effects. Colors were still enhanced and the lights were very bright and beautiful.
T+5:00 I was now in my room, alone, listening to music and dancing, occasionally with my eyes closed. With my eyes closed, I felt uncoordinated and kept tripping over myself, but with my eyes open, I felt very strong and fast, dancing better then I have in a while. It was almost midnight and I felt like I had been tripping for days. The time dilation effect was still somewhat present, but not as intense as during the peak, where a minute took hours to pass. I felt very refreshed. I went on AIM where I had a chance to speak to some people I still had issues with, and with one of my closest friends. I was able to resolve those issues quickly and parted ways with some people. Me and my close friend chatted on some good things and ended up parting with mutual affirmations of love. Which was great. I fell asleep within a few minutes of lying down and woke up 12 hours later, feeling great.
This trip was amazing and made me feel very good about myself. I feel like a better, wiser and more aware individual now. Mushrooms are truly sacred fungi, with the ability to change the world. I am very thankful to have had this experience.
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