Citation: Raveneyes. "Seeing Beyond: An Experience with LSD (exp320)". Erowid.org. Sep 7, 2001. erowid.org/exp/320
My most memorable 'trip' is one that now occupies my every thought and action. It has entirely changed my perceptions of existence, evolution, spirituality, conciousness. It was an experience at home, there were three of us. I took only one hit. We set the atmosphere by lighting with blacklights and candles, and we listened to goa music (some call it psychedelic trance).
I felt the acid creeping on, the giddyness, the happiness, the visuals, dancing and moving with the fluidity that acid provides. As I was dancing in a room by myself, I was struck with a feeling that could only be described as divine. I began to sense that inside me there were two selves. Perhaps it is incorrect to separate the two, but in order to illustrate my point here, I will do so.
We have a face to the world, we have our personalities, our likes and our dislikes, our ambitions, and our fears. We have our insecurities as well. But this divine self in us knows not of insecurity. It is a feeling almost equal to pride, only it is not egotistical, it is not arrogant, it's not a feeling of 'Look...I'm better than you'...it's a feeling of 'LOOK...I'm equal to you...and aren't we fabulous!!'...it is divine. :) Each of us is divine, but our perceptions of ourselves become muddled in this world by fear, and prejudice, and society...blame it on whatever, we lose that connection to our spiritual/subconscious selves.
Once I had discovered this, I had new clarity, new purpose, new focus and understanding. I realized that this being is my consciousness. From there, I lay down, closing my eyes. Exotic patterns circled through my mind, changing in color and shape with the music. At first it was two dimensional, and then it became three dimensional, and I seemed to travel into the patterns, until I was inside the very 'fibres' of that pattern, and then it was a molecule, and then I was inside the atom, and then inside the sub-atomic particle....until I realized that I was no longer aware of my physical body. I was like a mind, floating in space...hehe...rather, I was like eyes...exploring.
I could look out into the vastness and see only energy, see all worldly things, as the same energy. It was in this vast nothingness (allness), where I realized that my conciousness could travel wherever it pleased. That one could still be self-aware, without being physical. That the physical world is only ONE state of being. I realized that when the physical body dies, if we are in control of our own consciousness, we can still be aware, and exist in another state. Therefore, there is no such thing as death.
I saw life as energy, all things are just energy in a different form. What makes a human different from another form is that we have a consciousness, and we are self-aware. I realized many things. I believe that we choose our parents. I believe that our spirits are constantly evolving. All these things I don't just believe...but I know. What is true for me, is not necessarily true to another. There is a huge difference between believing, feeling, and knowing. Before, I believed and felt the concepts of reincarnation, of different states of consciousness, of energies. Now, at last, I have seen.
I floated back to the physical world, back to 'reality', only to go to bed shortly after. I fell into lucid dreaming for the first time, which was fascinating. I woke up feeling rested, yet knowing full well I had been self-aware the whole time, I had been 'awake' and exploring. The lucid dreaming continued for two days afterwards.
There isn't much that can make me unhappy these days, as I am more in control of my own reality. I look forward to my next 'trip', I look forward to expanding my understanding. Such experiences must not only be recognized, but taken and applied to life. I can only continue to evolve.
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