Citation: User. "OD'ed and Didnt Know It: An Experience with Alprazolam (exp31764)". Erowid.org. Jan 1, 2007. erowid.org/exp/31764
This is my account of overdosing on Xanax, and not having the memory to have even known I overdosed. I found out I OD'ed by friends asking what happened and me not having a clue what they were talking about. I later pieced together from different people what really did happen.
I'm experienced with using many drugs and pharmecueticals. But I had never tried any benzodiazepine, except for this one occassion...
During school one day, I was thinking about the Tylenol 3's my mom kept in her room in a basket, and realized that there were 2 other bottles next to it that I had previously disregarded as 'not fun'. Note, my mom has loads of medicine at her bedtable because of kidney surgery and health problems. But she kept these 3 bottles next to each other. After looking at the 2 previously unidentified bottles, I checked online what ativan and xanax were. To my suprise, they could be used for fun purposes. I decided that day I would take the xanax, since it was a perfect day to do it as it was.
First thing I did, was crush up 3 .5 mg pills and snorted them, then swallowed 2 pills. I figured 2.5 mg was a good amount the first time trying this stuff, and snorting half the dosage would make the onset quicker and more pronounced peak. For some reason, the effects did not kick in when I snorted them, or they were very minor(relatively to much later in the story..) and I ignored them.
I walked around for a while with a friend named A. I fell in a pond, and this might be because I think the xanax slowly crept on me. After an hour and a change of clothes, I decided today is great, why not take some more. I quickly downed 2 more xanax pills, and went outside. I figured, it would be such a waste if the dosage I took was too small for to feel anything.
This is when my memory fades, and very quickly from this point until about 30 minutes later where there is complete memory loss of the whole day.
I faintly remember that I went outside after that, sat at a park, and started to get discordinated. 2 friends came over, one asking if I could get him codeine and the other saying he would buy xanax from me. I probably told him I took xanax and thats why he asked, since I didn't know the name before that. I went inside, downed about 3 more pills, and got 3 xanax and codeine for the people.
I have a 100% memory loss from then on to the next day waking up.
The rest of the story, was given from friends who witnessed my xanax high. The events are in order.
To 2 black women out on an evening walk, I yelled 'Fuck you niggers!'. Though I am not rascist at all and think rascism is very stupid, I believe if you take yourself too seriously, then no one can take you seriously. If your against rascism, but cringe at any racial slang, then you need to chill out, take a joke. but I think yelling what I said to some strangers is a bit over the limit.
I also got in a fight with a friend, I'll call him 'B'. He also was the one getting the codeines. We fight often just for fun or for fun when we're slammed, and this was no different. Though I usually win our fights, I was told he totally kicked my ass. However, I would not give up and was told that I kept fighting for another 30 minutes. B said he gave up because he couldnt keep kickin my ass for so long. I didn't get any bruises the next day so that's kinda weird.
I also ran in front of A's dad's car and he had to slam the brakes from a 20 mph drive. He skidded and when he stopped, he was a foot away from me. I, however, kept running and didn't even look back or take any notice at all. Not even to his honking horn. (He was convinced I was on something, but my friend A did a VERY good job convincing him otherwise. He also happened to be goverment trained in identifying intoxicated and, in general, messed up people.)
I also made some very gay moves to an acquintance from my neighborhood. Though I am not gay, apply the same philosophy as I did with the yelling episode. The kid is also very homophobic, and even when I'm not high I pretend like Im hitting on him to bug him. He's an annoying person too. It was said that I said I was gonna rape him and with very discordinated hands, pushed my pants down in futile effort because my belt was tight enough to keep my pants on. One of my friends was holding him for me. Like I said, I'm not gay, and I never actually did anything gay to him on the xanax.
I was told I acted very drunk. About 4 hours later, it is said I kept falling asleep and having to be woken up.
When I got home around 9, I was told by my mother that I tried to boil water on the stove. We have a machine made specifically for boiling water, and my mother knew from this act something was weird with me. She eventually took me for being drunk, and called the 911. I hung up the phone during her call. This caused 911 to not know what exactly the distress call was for.
So they sent 2 ambulances, a cop car, and a firetruck over to my house at full speed.
I got taken away to a hospital in a ambulance, and after proving negative for any alcohol on the breathalizer, they hospital had to figure out what I was on. During my time at the hospital, I was told by my father that I kept running away and around half naked through the place, was yelling and cursing (I very rarely cuss at all so I find that odd), waving the finger, and yelling at my dad for the annoying things he does. The people there stuck IV's in me, but had a hard time controlling me. My father told me I kept ripping out the IV's placed in me. The doctors gave my father a list of psychiatrists that would be good to visit, but by 4 AM in my morning my dad wasn't fully there either, and he lost this list, thankfully.
The next day I woke up at 4 PM. It was a Tuesday after the Monday on xanax. Finding myself still in my pants, underwear, socks, but instead of the shirt I had worn some blue button shirt, I was somewhat puzzled. I do not usually sleep in my pants, and I had never seen the shirt before. My sense of time was a bit off because sleeping to 4pm does that to you. My first thought was oh wow I slept late, I mustve missed school.
I walked downstairs, and asked my mom what day it was. Just to be sure I hadnt slept for days, because I felt that way. I had no idea yet that anything had happened. Though I didnt really have any memory of the day before, it didnt occur to me yet that I had amnesia. My mom said Thursday, and I was a bit shocked because I was sure the day before was Monday. As I was slowly getting something was wrong, my brother said 'no its not, its Tuesday!' and my mom just busted out laughing. After that, I just walked outside to talk to my friend A because something was amiss.
After an hour I figured out that I OD'ed. My friend wasn't aware I had memory loss. I also had 2 'dreams' that night when I slept. When I woke up that Tuesday after the xanax, I brushed them off as weird dreams, but I later realized when I figured that I OD'ed they were both 1 second memory flashes that are all of what I remembered of the trip. One was a cop telling me 'you are not going to get in trouble for this' and the other, a doctor saying 'what did you take?'. I replied with a mumble because I didnt want to say xanax, and he said 'you took too much xanax'. The background and details in these dreams were not in place.
I do not recall any pain nor pleasure from the experience, and if people had somehow kept it away from me, I wouldve thought I never overdosed nor anything away from the norm ever happened. I do not say I especially regret the experience or any feelings at all to it, because of the complete memory loss.
My friend B's mom is a nurse at where I was taken too, and she had told my friend I had taken around 17 xanax pills. B told me this on the Wednesday of that week. I find this very weird because I recall only 3 times taking the pills, when I had returned to my house twice and eaten 2 and 3 respectively, and when I ate 2 and snorted 3 first thing that day after school.
Please be careful around xanax. I have resolved to have more respect for pharmecueticals, and to not do xanax again. Though xanax does not leave a bad impression in me, I still feel the same to it as when I had never even heard of it, I do not want to try it again just because I don't need to try every buzz out there and whats the point if there's a memory loss? Perhaps lower dosage my be fun, but oh well.
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