Ltd Ed 'Solve et Elucido' Art Giclee
This reverberating psychedelic giclee print is a gift for a
$500 donation to Erowid. 12" x 12", stretched on canvas, the
image wraps around the sides of the 1" thick piece. Signed
by artist Vibrata, and Erowid founders Earth & Fire.
Mood Is Everything
Diazepam (Valium)
Citation:   Mysticide. "Mood Is Everything: An Experience with Diazepam (Valium) (exp31496)". Erowid.org. Nov 14, 2007. erowid.org/exp/31496

 
DOSE:
20 mg oral Pharms - Diazepam (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb
I don't want to go into personal details but I was feeling very used and not recieving any recognition for my valiant efforts and achievements. To sum it up, I was being neglected. So, I ended up sitting in my car listening to some music. I was in a bad mood so I decided to take some Valium to calm me down. I searched my car for some water or a drink to swallow the pills, but I found nothing. Not wanting to go inside the house where the 'neglecters' were at, I remembered reading a report where the guy had placed the pills under his tounge untill they were in a paste form and then swallowed with barely tasting it. I put both under my tounge and waited for them to break down. About 5 minutes later, they are in the paste form and I swallow them down. I had a little snack before hand but otherwise a pretty empty stomach, so they kicked in fairly quick.

Another 5 minutes later I start regretting ever coming to this house, ever giving my best efforts for people who wouldnt recognize my talent. I begin to realize how weak my relationships with my 'friends' were. I realize that they were not my friends at all, just people I can have a casual conversation with, no deep ties. After all of this sinks in, I begin to cry. I see my the overview of my life and realize what a failure I am and how everything is fucked up, that I'm just another kid who is making bad choices that will ruin his life forever.

By now I am balling, hitting the steering wheel out of frustration every now and then. But then I realize it's the valium making me act this way, making me depressed. I guess it was because it was the first time I had ever taken 20mg as oppose to just 10. I use some breathing techniques to calm myself that I learned in Martial Arts. Things begin to settle down. I'm still in the mindset that I have no real friends and have a pointless life, but I'm beggining to accept it. After it starts to wear down I realize everything I had thought of was bullcrap and my life wasn't that bad at all.

I had previous trips with valium and they were all nice, the usual 10mg dose, but they were different. I went into the trip excited, wanting to relax and have a good time. Indeed I did.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 31496
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 14, 2007Views: 54,147
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Pharms - Diazepam (115) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Depression (15), Relationships (44), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults