Confessions of Lifelong Abuse
DXM (with CPM)
by Boo
Citation:   Boo. "Confessions of Lifelong Abuse: An Experience with DXM (with CPM) (exp31447)". Sep 22, 2005.

  repeated oral DXM (pill / tablet)
    repeated oral Chlorpheniramine Maleate (pill / tablet)
I've always been a depressed and lonely person growing up, but in 7th grade I met my best friend. She was everything I wasn't, and she liked me. About two months into our freindship, where I would always stay weekends at her house, she propositioned me with the chance to take some coricidin. A freind of hers had said it was better than weed and that was our drug of choice at the time. The fact that it wasn't illegal made it even more inticing.

That night we took it and just as promised, it was incredible. Within an hour things got blurry, yet I felt more aware of myself, and by accident, we discovered that your pain tolerance, emotionally as well as physically, was very high. Because we became eachothers dependency, when one of us was down the other naturally advised a 'coricidin session' so we could get 'happy'. As time goes by I look up one day to realize that I am about to graduate from high scool and it has been five years strong that my freind and I have been abusing coricidin. I look out my first period class window and watch the sun come up and I almost cry.

No, I've had no epiphany, not yet anyway, as usual I'm messed up at school and just a little out of control. You see, I said our emotional control was high but let me explain. When you use for so long you learn to always be in control and if you feel anything negative, like lightening fast your body excuses and disgards the feeling but if you allow emotion the flood gates open. My ability to express and express forever and the power to delve within myrself and explore has no bounds.

Other things learned by my freind and I is just how controlling coricidin is. I know there's not a lot of studies yet I can tell for sure, coricidin was addictive. Sometimes at school lunch, while already under the influence we would go around tables asking people for dollars, saying we needed cigarettes, just planning for our next box of bliss, 'pink princesses' we called them. That how I got to be named the 'Coricin Queen'. Between my friend and I, people knew I was a user and came to me to find out the scoop and since I always had an experienced answer, my one lisping freind, who at the time was messed up, made the name for me, dropping the 'di' in the middle so it would rhyme.

In all seriousness, my life wasn't all fun and games: depression hung over me constantly, suicide was always in the air, I had behavioral problems, and an overwhelming lack of self worth due to the fact that I lived a double life every day that, by experience, I learned only a few should know about. 2002, I graduated and I am now a sophomore at college; here I have learned the most of it all about myself. I recently, due to a new best friend, found the strength to stop. Next month would have be seven straight years that I had used,; God only knows what I have already done to myself. Way back when six cold and cough pills would do it for me, had jumped to twenty and was growing.

I now have chronic stomach pain and sometimes when I drink alcohol my tolerance level is so low that say four beers or a couple shots will plaster me, a beer bonging champ in high school who would take no less than ten. I have wierd muscle spasms and I shake a lot. A main determining factor for me to quit delt with the fact the my vomitting reflex always kicked in when it was time to take some more. Before swallowing i could never look at the pills or it would be a fight. Sometimes I won and other times I threw them up repeatedly before getting them down, but I never gave up. Now, I'm just trying to get emotionally stable and get a normal sleep pattern because that was something i had long since lost control of. For your info, my old best freind is still using and has no intentions of quitting, a deciding factor in our break up. She swears that without them she can't live but with them we never did.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 31447
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 22, 2005Views: 18,920
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DXM (22) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Loss of Magic (34), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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