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Life Accident
by Red
Citation:   Red. "Life Accident: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp30739)". Aug 9, 2018.

T+ 0:00
250 mg smoked Methamphetamine
  T+ 24:00 250 mg smoked Methamphetamine


[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

It had been snowing for two days, both outside physically and inside about every four hours. I had been freebasing meth, trying to prepare for the departure of my military husband. Already stressed I found I could only do all the things I needed if it was in my system, keeping me alert and up. I had only tried the stuff 20 days before and already I felt hooked.

I felt so awake. So alert. That was why I always was so motivated and productive when on the glass. When I kept busy my mind didnít have time to think about how lonely I would be. We packed the 88 Subaru and headed to the airport 22 miles away. The roads were horrible and while the limit was 65 we went 45 in a line of other vehicles. Between the two small towns it was mostly farmland and mountain.

Deprived of sleep for two days I didnít think my reactions would be so sharp
Deprived of sleep for two days I didnít think my reactions would be so sharp
, but no one can stop a car sliding on ice. When a snow plow passed I was blinded and unable to see I started to slide right. Overcorrecting we spun and I had enough time to look out of the passenger side window and see the huge truck heading straight for us in a slide. The impact was jarring, like sudden heavy pressure on my entire body. Remaining conscious through the double impact I was disoriented but the entire world was clear as the crystal. We slid off the road landing upright seven feet from the edge, having spun twice before stopping.

No one can describe how much pain I felt but let me say this, it paled in comparison to seeing my husband with wide open unblinking eyes. His face was bloody and he looked utterly dead. I could not move at first but when I did I yelled for the stopped cars to call 911. I realized walking my leg was probably broken, but the meth made it so unimportant. I was indestructible even with my own broken ribs and what I later discovered as a leg with pieces of the engine deeply piercing several parts of it. The snow was about two feet deep and I was jumping on that leg, around the front to the other side. Our bumper was about 100 feet away, our hood about 22. The car was totaled, having come to stop on a slope.

What a way to spend my second day of the new year.

It was the meth. That is why I didnít cry very much. That is why every fragment of a second was drawn out in length to picture perfect clarity. That is why now I canít even bring myself to get into a car and I avoid even walking in the snow. At the hospital I was desperate enough to hide the pipe and fourth of meth from my purse. I didnít want them to find it, the possession a felony, so I dug through a biohazard needle bag to place it at the bottom. It was then I realized how utterly crazy I was to be spun, in a bathroom hiding from the reality of the people I hurt. They almost died. I said I would quit but five days later my cravings were too bad. I was curled into a ball shaking when I finally gave in. That was my last gram. Iíve been clean for 31 days.

The drug is hard to quit, it makes me feel Godly and powerful. Pain is nothing while I am spun.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 30739
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 9, 2018Views: 4,398
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Methamphetamine (37) : Multi-Day Experience (13), Performance Enhancement (50), Addiction & Habituation (10), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)

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