Citation: Halem. "Different E Pills: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Methamphetamine (Sold as Ecstasy) (ID 30473)". Erowid.org. Jun 12, 2007. erowid.org/exp/30473
I just want to share some of my MDMA experiences, and tell you where X and other drugs have led me thus far in my life. The first time I took X, they were 2 pink tablets imprinted with 'wake ups.' I bought them in Vancouver, B.C., where street drugs and vendors are prevalent (one rather aggressive vendor had a tackle box full of an array of drugs, just lying out on the sidewalk!), but tolerated. while still on vacation, I tried one around lunchtime. Though I definitely felt something, I know in retrospect that it was not MDMA. It could of been ketamine or an opiate, but I wasn't sure. It did feel good, but not very intense or empathogenic.
[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated or tripping is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
My next try was a white pill, imprinted with the word 'love,' bought in Atlanta, Georgia. My friend called it 'mali/molly,' or 'molecule.' I took half at around 10pm, waited 45 minutes, and took the other half as my friend recommended I do. It kicked in as I was driving, and rapidly became overwhelming as I approached my house. It was strong, but definitely pleasant, with warm, natural feelings of happiness, flowing thoughts, shivers, and a tendency to laugh aloud, and only to myself. I felt really drunk, and everything moved very slowly. Put simply, it felt like my brain was melting very slowly, along with the world. The initial rush lasted roughly 2 hours, and then I just surfed the net, contemplating, and sporadically masturbating until I felt normal again at around 4am. Sorry to be vulgar, but increased libido IS one effect of MDMA!
The next times I took X were all the same, and not very enjoyable, since the tablets were purely or largely strong methamphetamine. I know this because I tried 'ice' once, and these felt exactly like that, or dexedrine, etc. They were blue, with a smiley face on one side - I definitely think two would have killed me, or at least not been very pretty.
I don't like speed, but I must say, the sexual arousal aspects were qualitatively different from MDMA, lasted a whole lot longer, and were all around much better. The only problem is that even though you feel that kinky, warm tingle in the groin area begging you for action, it is almost impossible to maintain an erection. I masturbated continuously with a semi-erect penis for over ten hours, before finally orgasming. When it came, it was wild, and almost too intense. And talk about chafing - ouch! In fact, all I could do on the meth in X-pill disguise was masturbate (my girl does not do X, and would not take kindly to 10 hours of intercourse). Strangely, smoking marijuana increased the effects all around, but any stoned feeling quickly wore off, so I went through an eighth of dank that night.
Anyway, the experience I had with real MDMA was pleasant, and largely of the mind. Strangely, even as good as it was, I felt satisfied and serene afterward, with no crash and thus, no desire to take more right after the usage, or even months later. I guess that is why it is good; you really gain something tangible that you can walk away with - a greater empathy toward and an understanding of humans, their needs and desires, and how those things factor into our becoming 'actors' in the constructed roles we assume in interaction. So, you pay very little, in that at least I felt no crash to precipitate redosing. I cannot see how MDMA is addictive, but I can see that it would not be good to take it frequently (my usage was sparse and sporadic), as it is probably not good for the old brain.
Face it, for every person we know and interact with, we have a custom-tailored persona which we present when needed. MDMA strips all this away, and puts people on an equal plane where only the benevolent, free-roaming spirit exists.
With the fake MDMA (methamphetamine), the physical and sexual sensations were better, but nowhere near as fun, useful, or physically and mentally friendly than MDMA. My heart was beating fast, and too much movement didn't feel good and caused anxiety, verging on panic, at times. Worse, this lasted the better part of 3 days, and totally wiped me out. This gets old fast, and it cannot be good for your health AT ALL! Speed does kill - I had a friend who committed suicide after chronic meth use, and know someone who suffered a heart attack from meth also. Indeed, I have watched dozens of friends and acquaintances go right down the toilet from meth use, selling everything they owned, including themselves. That said, after a couple of days, I did feel an urge to obtain more of the meth based X tabs, cocaine, or even coffee. That, in and of itself, tells me that I shouldn't and won't be taking meth anytime soon.
More importantly, I have decided not to take any more pills, whether I know they are real or not. For one, it's risky and can result in being let down or put to rest, permanently. Secondly, I just don't need them, since I've tried EVERY abusable drug (except for some of the exotic designer-types), and have learned (sometimes the VERY HARD way!!!) that the key to mastering one's mind is to limit, partially or completely, drug use and exposures to other potential toxins, and even (maybe most importantly) negative people who refuse offered help which might make them more positive.
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