Citation: LoKi007. "E Abuse 3 Years After: An Experience with MDMA (exp30080)". Erowid.org. Nov 11, 2007. erowid.org/exp/30080
Well it's been a few years since my addiction to MDMA. I'm bipolar and with that comes some severe depression sometimes. In college I was introduced to E and took a great liking to it to get rid of the depression. I started selling it so I could do it in the amount I wanted. I was doing about 50 pills a week for a way too long period of time. As soon as I woke up everyday I would pop a pill even before I had a cigarette.
I started, after months, to become pretty ill and started having horid panic attacks and heart palpitations which finally lead me away from this drug. I was hospitalized a couple times for the attacks and almost died on one occasion when my heart rate reached 220 bpm for almost an hour while I was in the emergency room. My heart would stop every once in a while which would just make it beat even harder afterwards. It took massive doses of barbituates to finally slow my heart. Having a doctor tell me I would of probably died if I hadn't come to the hospital was a wake up call.
Three years later I'm still being treated for anxiety although it has been almost a year now since I've had a real panic attack. For the two months after I quit cold turkey I also had the absolute worse vertigo constantly for every waking moment. If I wasn't moving I felt like I was spinning head over heals. Sleeping was a bitch and didn't happen too often for those couple months. Sitting in a classroom was almost impossible and lead to me taking a year off from college. Friends and family became real worried after I stopped because of the after effects being so strong and obvious. To top it off, 4 months since I even touched the stuff I was arrested for selling it, seems I had been under investigation for a long time. Cost my parents $12,000 to keep me outta jail because I wouldn't work for the cops.
All said and done I just hope others don't abuse this drug because it can be helpful and insightful like no other drug I've come across. I hurt myself and others using it the way I did and I'm pretty damned sure I have after effects that will never ever go away. Wellbutrin has helped me greatly. I finished college in the end and have found other ways of getting the happiness that E provides though I think about doing it again from time to time.
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