DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

I've rolled about 10 times before this experience, and none of them compared to this one time. Me and my girlfriend each took one buddha. It took about 40min for it to hit me, It took her longer to feel the effects. We were smoking a bob (Blunt, weed filled cigar...) about 30mins after we ate the pills. Later i noticed that i was higher than a bob would get me, I knew i was rolling then. It was all good, I was in a good place, my girlfriend's apartment. I was with the person i loved, I was having fun talking to my girl about how we were feeling. She seemed to be enjoying her roll also. We had been listening to some Erykah Badu, One of our esential tripping/rolling music selections, I felt like changing the scene to see how i felt. We put on a black light, That was tight! I felt calm and at peace with my soul and hers. Then we decided to turn off all the lights and light some candles. Bad Idea!

With the lighting concept the way it was we started talking. About 5 minutes later my mind started to wander, I was overwhelmed with guilt, and sorrow. I felt like you do after you've been crying for days! I was rambling some wierd nonsense, talking about my mom spanking me over her knee, and about never touching another human again... I don't remember anything i was saying but my girlfriend told me later what had happened. I was feeling horrible, in my mind different random memories of my past were flashing by. All bad memories, such as my dad dying, fights i've been in, being locked up in JDC (juvenile detention center), and other bad experiences i've had. While each experience was flashing through my mind I could feel the pain, guilt, fear, pity, anger, and embarrasment each memory portrayed. While stuck in my head tormenting, my girl was starting to panic, she could see that I was lost and turning down the wrong path.

I was still rambling absurdities and I as I looked into her eyes i could see my pain in her eyes, by this point I was fucking with her mind also, my situation was reaching to her, she started losing it too, I could see it in her eyes!
but before she got to deep into her thoughts, she asked me to turn the lights back on. She had to say it about 4 times for it to register in my mind, finally i ripped myself apart from my thoughts, got up walked over to the lights... my feelings changed just then, I felt better, I still felt guilty like i'd done something terrible. I turned the lights on and sat down. I was still disoriented, still rolling, but out of my bad memories. I got an intense headache and felt scared the rest of the night. What had happened to me? A bad trip? but for only aboout 15 minutes I was lost.

My girl said she was fully aware of what had happened. She thought the light scheme helped me to lose it, the dark candle light lead me into my head, and that no other distractions like tv, music, and other things were keeping me from leaving. When she asked me to turn the lights on it was a change of scenery and brought me back.

What was it about that light scheme that lead me down that path?

What made me feel such horrible feelings?

What would have happened to me if my girl didn't think quickly and didnt get me to turn the lights on?

Could I have brought her to where I was?

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 3
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 30, 2000	Views: 6,536
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), General (1)