Citation: Matt. "The Pull of the Needle: An Experience with Hydromorphone (exp29981)". Erowid.org. Apr 10, 2007. erowid.org/exp/29981
Hey All, I thought I'd sumbit a report on my hydromorphone addiction, because of it's expensive street price people dont really support an addiction of it purely, but when you get perscriptions like I did you can easily become addicted.
My first taste of D came when a friend asked one day while we were smoking weed 'Hey man whats hydromorph...?' 'I immediatly freaked out, 'HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT??'. It turned out he was being perscribed 1 mg pills for his gout. I purchased 3 of them several times for 5 bucks a piece, and snorted them, it was AMAZING, heaviest nods of my life.
I've been having chronic daily migraines for a year and a half now and I've been perscribed loads of narcotics, demerol, morphine, codeine, percocet, and good ol' dilaudid to name a few. I started off just snorting the D as I had been with the morphine, but evemtually my tolerance started to grow so I knew I needed something more because snorting dilaudid is only 50% as effective as shooting. So I went to the clinic for an app. and while I was waiting for the doc I stole some syringes that were sitting in the cuppboard, went home, locked myself in the bathroom, and tried whacking the dilaudid.
It took a few times to hit a good vein but I finally registered 3 4 mg pills into my vein on the side of my left arm, and wow. The feeling of slamming dilaudid is amazing, it starts off as a slight warmth and creaps up to my brain until finally my brain goes off with a gentle explosion of warmth that fills my entire body from head to toe, into my fingertips, it envelops my whole body. The first shot I took I remember layin on the bed smokin a bowl of hash in a waterbong, and I'd keep noddin out and pourin bong water all over myself, I was in heaven. I couldnt even walk straight.
For the next few days I was CONTSANTLY in the bathroom shootin up, I would slam the sleeping pills I was bein scripted, ritalin I bummed offa friend with ADD, I would do a cocktail of ritalin, caffeine pills, and Dillies, I just LOVED fixing, the rush, the needle, everything about it. Finally after a few days I got busted. My Mom had found all my syringes. I found where she was hiding them and continued to shoot up with a few needles I had, they went incredibly dull from re-use. They'd bruise the living shyte out of my viens, and tear my skin as I stuck them in. But finally she found those too and I was forced to stop.
Well I continued snorting the D's but I was developing such a tolerance that I needed somethin stronger. So I went to the doc and she put me on Hydromorph contin, 12 mg time release caps. I'd snort these but they were such a bitch to sniff because of all the wax in the little beads, so I was mostly crushing the beads and eating about 5 or 6 caps at a time for a really pleasent oral high.
I went back to the doctor and said I didnt like the Contin and was put back on the K4's. I had also asked for a shot of a narcotic, but this certain doc didnt like giving injections of narcotics so she perscribed ampoules of a take home NSAID (non-steriodal[sp] anti inflamatory drug) named toradol and a hefty supply of syringes, oh boy.
When I started using the syringes I didnt wanna smack them because I knew my mom would get suspicous again, so I would just skin and muscle pop the drugs, I had aqquired a lovely ammount of the Contin caps saved up because they were so usless to sniff, so I skin popped those like nuts, and was skin poppin codeine pills like nuts, and some morphin I had saved up. Finally I got bored with poppin and I wanted to IV again, I told myself I'd smack once in awhile and continue to skin pop. Well as soon as I shot that first shot I fell in love all over again, I never popped again after that. No matter how bruised and worn my veins got I'd force myself to register a vein, no matter how bloody the syringe got, or no matter how long it took, I eventually collapsed the vein in the crook of my left arm. My Arm was turning completly yellow from the colour of the pills, pumping so many pills into my veins. I had even saved a couple of contin caps and shot those, WOW. the rush of 24 mg's was the most intense rush EVER. I was sitting on the toilet and BAM my whole body was overcome with the most guilty bliss and I immediatly nodded out untill someone pounded on the door to tell me to get outta the bathroom.
Thinkin back on this whole deal, I went from sniffin 2-3 mg's and noddin like a baby to shooting enough of the shit to kill a non tolerant person. because I had a constant supply I never had to face junk sickness in my active addiction, except in the mornings when I woke up. So the first thing I did every morning was crush up some pills, go in the bathroom, turn on the shower and knock myself out.
Finally one day I woke up, shot up a very delicious 20 mg's, smoked a bowl, and had a psychotic breakdown. I slit my wrist twice that day, tried to stab my brother and mom, and they called the cops. 2 paramedics and 4 cops came and dragged me to the hospital where I was screaming things like 'I HOPE YOU DIE' and 'JUST ONE MORE FUCKING HIT' they heavily sedated me on lorazepam and forced me to stay in the psychward for about 4 days, and perscribed me a lowering dose of dilaudid which they watched me take. When I came out of the hospital I saw some ugly UGLY withdrawals. I didnt sleep for 2 weeks, I'd be constantly exhasuted to the point of passing out then being awoken by a surge of burning hot energy rushing my body, then it'd leave me with a freezing chill thatd last days, I was constantly in the bathroom crapping my guts out, my whole body ached, my gut was so painfull, I couldnt eat for the whole 2 weeks, choking on the bile I couldnt puke up, it was hell.
When I came out of the hospital I made a choice to start going to Narcotics Anonymous, there they helped me clean up nowadays I'm 60 days clean today (jan 13th 2004) and dont even smoke weed anymore.
I'll Leave off with a quote from Drugstore cowboy
'its this fucking life, you never know whats gunna happen next, thats why nadine spiked herself with the easy way out, and thats why dianne keeps on goin like she does, see, most people they dont know how theyre gunna feel from one minute to the next, but a dope fiend has a pretty good idea, all ya gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles'
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