Citation: The Rhubarb Kid. "The 'Anti-Drug' Drug: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp29815)". Erowid.org. Nov 27, 2006. erowid.org/exp/29815
OK, so this is how it is:
I have been a major chemical brother for many years now. I have experienced all the up's and (come)downs, the 'highs' and the lows possible from MDMA, Coke, Ketamin, and so on.
And, to be honest with you, I am getting bored. Sick of it all, and not just in the head.
For the past few months I have stripped my desire to get high down to its barest essentials - not just 'how', but WHY am I getting high? What exactly am I searching for by creating these experiences? And what am I running away from?
With all this in mind, the stage was set for my first foray into the magical world of Hawiian Baby Woodrose.
So, yesterday morning, after hours of internet 'research', I decided to go out and purchase some top quality HBWS from my local head shop. With an air of breathless expectancy I waited until the house was empty; five of the seeds soaking in hot tap water. This was after I had scraped all of the 'fuzz' off the outside of the seeds, and thoroughly rinsed them.
After two hours I removed the seeds from the glass they were standing in, took a deep breath (metaphorically and physically!) and placed the first of the seeds in my mouth. I chewed my way through all five, waiting hesitantly for the bitter, acrid taste I had read so much about. And....
Nothing. I have to admit I was pretty annoyed - nobody wants a bad taste in their mouth, but I didn't expect them to taste just like paper, or soil. Great - I thought - I've been sold dud seeds.
Nothing like a high dose of disappointment to leave a bad taste in your mouth - or not as the case may be. And nothing like eating a pack of placebo-type seeds to give you a little pain in the stomach. Well, actually rather a large pain. In fact (looking at my watch) 20 minutes in and I'm already gonna have to hurl. Dammit !!
And I did. The small bowl of rice and vegetables I had permitted myself for lunch 7 hours earlier had obviously not been yet digested. Nor would it ever be, now, except maybe by some fish in the Pacific Ocean. I flushed the chain and instantly felt better.
Tons better. Tons and tons better. Eons better. In fact (check watch) only 30 minutes in I feel like I'm 'coming up' on a couple of E's.
Five minutes later I'm awash with empathy, ecstasy and all that other good stuff. I feel as though the war is over. However bad it gets, it can get better. There is no greater gift than life, and I am blessed with it (against all odds and overdoses!!)
Pretty soon the confusion kicks in, buts it's not confusion in a messy whats-my-name-where-am-I sense. Just a warm, fuzzy, blur around the edges. A floating-down-the-river-and-loving-it kind of confusion. Yeah - I thought - I'm THERE!! But I was not 'there', not yet, not by a long way!!
One hour into the proceedings I decide to write. My script starts off regular, and after a few paragraphs becomes a giant, flowing scrawl. The very act of moving the pen over the paper feels like a miracle. I am HERE - I can do this. All is sacred.
For the first time in my life I can know experientially the things that I have always known only conceptually and intellectually. We are one - really really - as a rock is connected to the earth and thus to everything else indirectly, so am I connected to All. And on top of that, I AM All. All is Me. I am made up of the same stuff as the stars, and it is fucking beautiful. I am beautiful. Full of beauty.
At this point I lower the tone slightly by getting a major attack of the munchies. I write a note to my housemate explaining that I am borrowing some cheese from the fridge for a sandwich. As I enter the kitchen another friend arrives home, with cheese and tomato pizza, and offers me half. I am ecstatic at this and run around shouting 'Ask and ye shall receive!! Thank you, Universe!!' Moreover, I was amazed to discover that, unlike with chemical stimulants, I could eat just fine. This was really turning out to be MY sort of high!!
It was at about this time (two hours in) that I began to trip. About three years ago I had done acid a few times, and mushrooms a lot, so this feeling was nothing new. Wallpaper patterns began to swirl, the carpet took on the appearance of a 'magic eye' picture, and everything became an experiment for new tactile experiences.
I can't really remember very much about this 'exploratory' stage except that it was FUN!! Nowhere near as visual as acid, but much more enjoyable due to the lack of unwanted side effects.
An hour later the other guys I live with came home and stuck on a video. I chatted with them for an hour, watched the video (some comedy, I don't remember what) and went to bed.
I fell asleep immediately, slept a good few hours, and woke up feeling refreshed and energised.
I no longer feel the need to take chemicals (for how long, who knows?!) and I feel that I respect myself and this Mother Earth of ours about a billion times more than before.
Thank you HBWS, and thank you God for providing me with this experience.
Here's to many more!!
The Rhubarb Kid.
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