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A Few Huffs from Death
Inhalants - Gasoline
by cobra
Citation:   cobra. "A Few Huffs from Death: An Experience with Inhalants - Gasoline (exp29731)". Erowid.org. Sep 17, 2004. erowid.org/exp/29731

 
DOSE:
  inhaled Inhalants (gas)

BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb


[Erowid Note: Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe recreational use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous.]

I actually got the idea of sniffing gas from my High School drug program. I never heard of it, but the book said that it would induce hallucinations, so, I was in to try it out. I wanted to know what it means to hallucinate. Basically, I would remove the cap from a gas can and take a few very slow and deep breaths with my mouth to the opening. The air was flowing through it because there is a little air release valve cap on the top.

At first, what I noticed was auditory. My hearing began to 'wa-wa' so to speak, but very slowly and more intense. Sounds around me began to sound extremely familiar, as though I'd lived them before and they become more and more loud. The lawnmower of a neighbor took on some meaning or remembrance. I started to laugh and even my laughter seemed to be some pre-destined thing, that I had to laugh a certain way and in a certain pattern. Everything I did was about patterns and repetition and it was all 'known' to me, as though I was playing a part in a greater game. To this day, I can still recall their sounds. They can be very haunting. Slowly, I became very euphoric and began to run around outside... my eyes seemed to be disconnected from my body... I ran around in a retarded with my arms and legs flying with no control as my head seemed to float to the ground. (Actually, I had fallen and didn't even know it.) I walked around on my tiptoes in a sort of retarded manner, as though I had some disorder.

After that, my friend and I did it and we began laughing (in a pattern of course) and walking around in circles in the garage. At one point, he picked up a plunger from the ground and he began banging it against a deep freezer that was in the garage, like he was ringing a very large bell. Every time the plunger hit the deep freezer, unrepeatable sounds of digital quality as high pitched as the ear can hear rang out. It started to annoy me, so I tried to break in and stop it... at which point, I no longer could see. I awoke, upstairs, with no idea as to what happened other than, when I intervened, I'd somehow stopped the natural repetition of life. Unconsciously, I had somehow walked up my house stairs and to our front door, where I finally gained conciousness in wonder to how I could walk around without knowing where I was going.

Then, my final experience:
One morning, my parents had told me they were going shopping, so after they left I ran down and started sniffing. No sooner, as the buzz kicks in, I realized that I was remembering many things that I'd forgotten when I was 'there' before. The sounds returned, as I laughed at the deja-vu or returning to what was always there... I noticed that when I close my eyes, tiny microscopic green lit dots danced around in swarms by the millions. No matter what I looked at, I saw them. In fact, I see them still to this day, if I sit in the dark. They are what you see when you rub your eyes and images dance in your vision. The oddity is that the gasoline puts my attention on them and makes them bigger and I find that they appear to have a life of their own, and each one is their own being with its own sense of conciousness.

Soon, I realized that I was also one of these lights, only one in millions and millions of lights. Before I knew it, my dog had walked into the garage, and when it did, so did another one... and another one... and another one... but, I became retardedly amused and laughed in that signature laugh that I was expected to for some unknown urge took over me.

Now, the ultimate experience was when things around me would become very growingly intense and I wouldn't really know what was happening, other than some extreme sense that something was getting more intense and it wasn't good.... when all the sudden, everything would stop and I would be hearing the kitchen microwave beeping and I'd be staring at the clock on the microwave, wondering how it's possible... I let out a retarded laugh, such that says, 'wow, that's weird' or 'Huh?!'

No sooner, my final hallucination was some 'game' where the green lights and I were forced to race down a tunnel which closed in on every side very slowly. As we raced, the lights on the outside would be removed from the game as they hit the ever-decreasing walls... however, there was a feeling that this game was a game of survival and if I didn't make it to the end, I would die.... so I tried to stay in the center of the group as the speed increased and the tunnel became more narrow. Faster and faster, more lights died off and I actually made it down to a final tunnel, just thin enough for my light to make it through... I hit some huge flash and woke up on the garage floor with my head in my hands, moaning, and realizing that I probably just almost died. I threw up violently (including blood) as soon as I started walking around. My head hurt so bad that I couldn't even think.

For months afterwards, I had bad flashbacks... flashbacks of certain concepts that I 'discovered', such as levels of existence and the concept of infinite repetition to the end of a timeless world that lies after life. Being high on gasoline is like going to another world. This world is always there, underneath my consciousness. I'm simply leaving consciousness and taking a trip there. The problem is, it's so erratic that I don't stay in the same world too long and end up going into other worlds that aren't as nice. Some are the darkest corners of the emotions, leaving me in utter tears when I return.

If you think this is exciting and want to try it, you've missed my point. I was utterly depressed for years. I saw life as a joke, a cartoon, often having nightmares, and finally, having a lot of therapy to help me recover from a psychosis that I had created. I'm lucky that I'm not retarded for life. Only a few huffs from death, and you never know when you might go too far.

Exp Year: 1990ExpID: 29731
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 17, 2004Views: 15,623
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Inhalants (29) : Depression (15), Post Trip Problems (8), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

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