Citation: Twirl. "Emotional Intensity: An Experience with 2C-I (exp29668)". Erowid.org. Jan 5, 2004. erowid.org/exp/29668
||(powder / crystals)
It seems that every now and then remarkable things are bound to find their way even to the most desensitized souls. I'm a young guy who's trying to get from one college to another while looking for a decent flat & job. Society and life have recently seemed to be generally too hectic and at times even illogical, which has made me slightly depressed. So, circumstances as such didn't seem to suit tripping at all. However, the end of last year, 2003, left me with a long story that isn't all that bad.
Just before christmas of 2003, a friend of mine got his hands on what may well have been the last bit of uncontrolled 2c-i. Being a generous guy, he asked me if I wanted to have fourty milligrams of the substance. It seems that I had been somewhat infected with the idea of '2c-somethingness' caused by research chemical hype, because despite having read an awful lot of psychoactive resources, I still had the impression that some 2c-i users had reported toxicity and/or excessive stimulation.
This, however, was proven wrong by further reading. While studying for my trip I did come across a guy who claimed that he had chronic trouble with his peripheral nervous system after a bender of 2c-i, bzp, mdma and low-grade hash. Although every single report I've read about 2c-i emphasized absence of any side effects, his story made me a bit cautious - maybe some of the local chemicals were made wrong or something. So, I decided to first try a really small dose.
A short description of the calibration trip: On boxing day I eyeballed something from 4 to 10 mg:s of 2c-i on a piece of chocolate, which I then swallowed at a friends' place. Before the onset I smoked a couple of hits of homegrown bud. It worked very well; for many hours it felt like a very effective dose of morning glories, but without any nausea, paranoia, after effects or anything negative. In fact, it felt smoother that just smoking cannabis, which usually makes me feel quite uncomfortable. It was never more that a +2 on the Shulgin scale (which too many people use as if it was linear).
I decided to go for medium level dosage. My previous psychedelic experiences have included most of the common indoles and salvia, which I find remarkably interesting, but never any phenethylamines.
On new year's eve, at the same place, I took a capsule that was supposed to contain 20 mg's of the substance, but since the dose was measured with an electronic milligram scale with accuracy of +/- 5 mg's, it may have been 25, 15 or anything in between. After the mandatory bong hits at 6pm, I began to feel nervous due to the inevitable trip I was going to have. The first thing I felt was a sensation of energy being loaded into my mind and body, or the part of my mind that sees my body. We went out to get some groceries which was nice, because the small apartment full of bud smoke was getting a bit small for my racing mind. We took a shortcut that led us to the central park of the town. There I began to have opened eye visuals. They were mostly duplications of high-contrast areas in my field of vision and fractal represantations of, for example, frozen puddles of water. It was like seeing high and very low iterations (with 'low' being closer to elementary level) of crystallizing water all over the frosty park scene. In the park there were also quite a few celebrating families with little kids waving those sparking stick-things. I couldn't help laughing out loud at it all.. in a kind way.
When we got to the store through the park, I knew i couldn't go in so I hung out with a friend at the backyard of the store. I told him that things were starting to melt and breathe, which was a bit worrying because the peak wasn't due for some time. The ascension of the peak, so to say, hit me about five minutes after we got back in the apartment. Colours and light suddenly seemed impossibly bright, which I attributed to pupil dilation. The OEV's had come to point where text would melt off books and the faces of my friends floated around. I went back outside to take a walk but this time I was all by myself. That's when the real psychedelic effects hit me. I've had glimpses of dramatically different mind states with substances such as 5-meo-dmt and Ayahuasca, but they hadn't really prepared me at all for what I was in for.
Instead of walking around the streets of a town it seemed like I was navigating through my own mind and memory that contained the town.
When I got to a road I had never walked down before, it was like pushing my own mind to generate the world. People were lighting fireworks in places I couldn't see, and every explosion of colour in the sky seemed to be an assault of absurdity into my head. And old man walked past me, and it felt like he was just a thought of mine. I still knew he was an entity seperate from me, so I tried not to look suspicious and even said 'happy new year' to him, which made him look very angry and hostile. My blackened eyes probably let him know I was on something, which of course made him think I was going to attack him. I then had to turn back because I really had no connection to time and space of consensus reality. I thought I'd get lost inside my mind for good if I didn't flee.
Through dreamlike space and meaningless time I finally got back to the apartment, which was quite a relief for me. I sat down and watched some television, but I thought the programmes made absolutely no damn sense. Watching a popular channel with an alleged music theme was particulary insulting. I was still having the most powerful mental effects and visuals of my life, but they seemed to rapidly lose their meaning and were being replaced with something really new. I began to have weird waves of something happening. I'd open and close my eyes, and everytime I did, there would be a new pattern of sensation. I was experiencing my mind like never before. Individual 'frames' of life seemed to be compressed into waves of thought, sensation and emotion which would then cycle in and out of my mind. I involuntarily both transmitted and accepted these fluctuations of mind all the time.
I began to feel that all of my mind and the world consisted of the same flow of energy and that division of senses, substances and even elements or individual minds was just a thought among others, albeit one that get a lot of attention from other thoughts.
After grasping the flow I would at the same time have an endless amount of perspectives and no perspective at all, because nothing was absolute or firm. The ego-loss was as powerful as the peak of a 5-Meo-DMT experience. I had to get out of the room because I literally didn't know what I was going to do next. The peak was building onto itself very quickly, but the level clearly wasn't about saturation of a chemical in neurons anymore. It was more like a door had been opened in the mind as a whole, and that the trip's intensity would be unaffected by dosage after this point.
I could see sounds easily, but I couldn't see vision because vision was felt and feelings were seen - but through thought which was nothing but a sum of signals received by feedback. Now that everything had become this fractal of modulation and perpetuity in variation, I didn't know where I started or where my bounds were.
I found myself standing in a corridor with raised arms and legs and I was about to fall to my knees just because of the emotional intensity. I have never felt anything even remotely like that; it was like a new world. In such, this should not have been a surprise because i've studied more than enough to know that our senses capture and our brains process only a fraction of the world's energy. My body was forced to go with the flow and do a kind of fluent stationary dance. The peak lasted a little less than 45 minutes, and for the middle 15 minutes, I had no sensation of actually generating a thought or having a consciousness of my own. I was WAY past average +3 for a long time, and the peak experience may have well been a so called plus four - I think the definition is so loose you can't even really use the term. It was now about 11 pm.
The end of the trip was very nice with persisting flashes of all-round holiness with true fractal visions as far as the mind's eye can see. Just before midnight we went back to the park to see the fireworks, and while descending I noticed that my normal state of mind was horribly blunt, cold and full of sorrow, and had been for some time. In the park I was getting desperate, because all I could see in people were the memes they expressed. I felt that my own mind would be doomed if I didn't take something with me from the trip, but I believe i have. I'll always try to remind myself of the ecstatic state of joy I found. All noticeable effects were gone at about 2.30 am, in 2004, but I couldn't find sleep until t+12h, which was at 6am.
It now bothers me a lot that 2c-i is going to be extensively controlled and basically denied from people. Maybe it's just because some people wanted to turn this compound into money by selling it at the dance scene, I don't know. Maybe it's because these experiences are not the kind 'they' want 'you' to have. But, if you discover a substance and want to either exploit it for your own benefit or punish other people for wanting to use it, believe me: it's not worth it.
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