Citation: Ilezchm. "Unimaginable Wholeness: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp29588)". Erowid.org. Jun 12, 2006. erowid.org/exp/29588
FORWARD: The events in this story took place almost a year ago. Please excuse me for any holes in my story. This story may be long. But I assure you. It is in everyway enjoyable, and I encourage you to read it all. I think it will be helpful if you are contemplating trying shrooms, or are just reading about other peoples' experiences. Here we go...
P and I were both 16 years old at the time and had never done shrooms. We had talked about it, and I had spent nearly 2 months researching them and reading about peoples experiences with them, as to sort of gain an insight as to what I we were to embark on.... But we had no idea as to what was to come. We had been preparing ourselves mentally the week before the trip for 2 reasons: To avoid a bad trip, and to enlighten ourselves.
My sister had made a run to a city about an hour and a half away to visit her boyfriend at the time, and to bring us back the eighth of marijuana and mushrooms. P and I had planned to do them on a Sunday, in the woods, and in high spirits. The plan was coming along nicely. I was abruptly awakened that Sunday (no, that is not why this story is called 'Awakening', but nice guess!) with my sister handing me the goods. I rose up in a smile, and she told me that both were supposed to be awesome. And indeed they were. At first glance, I KNEW the bud was good. Some of the best I've had to this day. But as for the shrooms. I had no idea! I didn't know what to look for, and this would be my first trip. I went to the phone to call P, and he arrived shortly after the phone call was ended. But our day was just beginning, and this would be the day that changed my (our) lives forever.
We each planned to consume half the eighth. We divided it up fairly, and the plan was perfectly executed. We downed them with orange juice, and oh how they tasted horrible! A small price to pay I guess. We then called our friend C who is no longer with us (he moved to Texas) to 'babysit' if you will. We took all precautions to ensure that this trip be of full potential. We started to drive to the mountains when P started to get wide eyes and laughing like he was going insane. But I could tell that he was enjoying it. He had a much faster metabolism than me, and it would take another 25 minutes or so for the precious psilocybin to to work its magic. P handed the wheel over to C who them drove us to the mountains, as P was skeptical about his driving abilities. I also started feeling wierd and we cranked up the tunes (I dont recall what, its been almost a year) and we all started laughing because it was a sunny Sunday in the spring and things were good.
When we got onto the dirt road I started to notice weird patterns in everything I saw. The trees, and the ground specifically. I had the notion that the trees were alive, and that they were huddled together like families. But I have since been there, and I assure you, they are in no way not. I suddenly realized, They ARE alive! WOW, amazing. They all seemed to have souls, emitting their energy to us, uping our spirits another notch. After staring at everything and feeling what was the best feeling I've ever felt (a comibination of welcoming anxiety - and pure happiness), we finally found a spot that seemed to be calling our name. C parked the car and we all got out. I think we might have been listening to Bob Marley. P has a system and the music was still fairly loud.
P immediately darted out into the woods while C and I smoked the bowl that I had promised him. While smoking some of the best pot I have ever had, I later couldn't tell if i was even high. I was acting alot more like Pat (who was only on shrooms) than I was Chris (who was only high). I, however, was on both, but I really dont think I was high off the pot. At the same time, I'm sure I was. It was rather difficult to seperate the two sensations. When we caught up with P, I started laughing histaricly because he was chewing on a tree the size of him. He heard me laugh and he looked back and he started laughing histaricly also, he was rather confused as to why he was doing this. I, however, didnt join him in his tree eating rampage. He made things better with the tree by apologizing to it. I could feel a sensation I had never felt before filling me up. I was excited! He brought me to a place where there was a small dip in the ground. I'm still not sure what caused it, but he told me that he saw it moving while me and C were roasting a bowl. We then layed down in a small vally near the car, free of trees, and stared up at the clouds. (C had gone back to the car to chill and listen to the music, seeing that P and I were no threat to ourselves)
The clouds were so amazing. It looked so real and unreal at the same time - like a realistic cartoon. They were making shapes and moving in ways which clouds normally do, my mind just processed it completely different. In my line of vision I could see the tops of some trees to my left, along with the clear blue sky and the few clouds which gracefully road the wind of that beautiful day. I just started laughing because I was filled with a sensation that I never had before. The world was One. We were One, and everything was One. The energy I was filling just kept intensifying. I was just so happy to be alive, seeing what I was seeing, feeling what I feeling, and knowing what I was knowing. P and I were discussing how spectacular eveything looked and I felt like I was a little man in the back of my head talking with a microphone which sent a signal to my vocal chords, which made my bigger body talk. I told P all this and I think it replied with a chuckle and the word 'Crazy...' or 'Awesome...' I dont know. But something of the nature.
I was all of a sudden interupted by C who just poked his head into my like of vision from the top. (as though lying down looking at the sky and someone just steps over you and lookes down) I was startled, but nothing major. He told us we were gonna go for a walk. And this walk would be a walk to remember...
I remember P enthusiastically saying something like 'A walk thru the tables of time.' Or something crazy like that. He sounded like one of those people on TV that try to make it sound interesting so you'll watch the program but hes not very good (no offense P, haha)P stopped and said 'M, come look at this!' He was looking at the ground and it was like looking into another little world within a world. It was like playing a extremely realistic video game with AWESOME graphics. There was the finest little details in everything. It all seemed to patternal (I think I just may have made up a word, but thats alright). All my surroundings seems to be full of life and energy that I had overseen before. As weird as that sounds.
We spent a good 10 minutes I'm sure just looking at a small area of the ground. Feeling it and commenting about how it felt like a body. Then we realized it was! It was a body! It was none other than the infamous Mother Earth! We instantly fell in love with it, talking to all the living breathing plants, exchanging energy, and C was just looking at us like we were crazy. I was feeling sorry for him at this point because he had no insight on things P and I were figuring out, and were seeing. I'm sure P was thinking the same thing.
Okay. This is one of those 'holes' in the story I warned you about in the forward. I don't fully remember the next events in the story enough to explain them. I just remember bits and peices. Anyways... We shall continue with that I do remember after this hole. (again, I'm tragically sorry about this)
I remember us walking around, filled with joy, talking to the plants around us. Colors where vibrant and full of life, but I experienced no hallusinations. We came apon this huge rock/boulder and we for some reason instanly fell in love with it. We both got up close, examining it closely. I thought I could see all the seperate compounds and atoms that made the rock up.
After doing this in amazement for some time, Pat and I dubbed the rock the King Of the Mountain, as it was looking over a valley that we were previously unaware off. We found an old decaying stump and started kicking it and BEHOLD!, it instantly became not a chair, oh no no no.., it became a throne next to the King of the Mountain! I laughed and was filled with joy by this. We both felt like children. Everything was exciting and new. We each took turns stitting in the 'throne' and got our pictures taken (yes we had a camera) At this time, I think C must have been back at the car chilling and listening to Marley again, because I see him nowhere in my memory at this preticulair moment.
We came yet again to a little world within a world, and this time there was a miniture river flowing, and a waterfall. It was completely beautiful and it filled me with uncomprehenable awe. I think we were talking about things Jim Morrison said for while when P suddenly said 'We're going to die.' BOOM! It hit me like a baseball bat a full force. Never had I thought about the concept of death (in this world) as I did that day. I vividly remember standing on the hillside and looking up at the sun. God was connecting with me. I just felt his love and I was filled with unimaginable 'wholeness' and peace with myself. P and I continued to walk around and appreciate nature in a way we never before saw. Afterall - it was God's art! It was like viewing the world and living for the first time. Everything as coming together.
My problems suddenly weren't problems. I think I learned more in those few hours than I had the previous 16 years of my life. I was filled yet again by a new wave of euphoria, and well-being. Words cannot justify how this experience changed my life. My ego shrank to the size of a pebble, and I felt that it had been hiding me from all of 'this'. This is really difficult to express in words. The conversations P and I were having was not like a normal sober communication. It was connecting on a whole new level. I felt like we had discovered a new form a communication. Making the previous method absolete. It was like jumping into the mind of the person talking.
Understanding filling every inch of my body. The feelings of happiness, insight, enlightenment and knowledge never stopped within the duration of the trip, but rather, they continued to intensify. I felt like I was on the brink of crying with overflowing joy. Prior to this trip, I had been searching for something. I didn't know what it was. But I knew it was there. And this day. Everything was falling into place. I felt like before this day I had never truly lived. My next bundle of thought that day are simply undescribeable. But I HIGHLY recommend you take similiar precautions with shrooms as P and I did to ensure an enlighting trip...
AFTERWORD: After coming down... P and I offical dubbed ourselves hippies, and lovers of all things. That day and since after have been unlike anyother, and I am so happy I am me. Our lives have both changed (for the extreme better) and we both have continuted to grow.
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