Citation: Luke. "The Hollow Of Dying: An Experience with DPT (exp29341)". Erowid.org. Dec 19, 2003. erowid.org/exp/29341
||(powder / crystals)
I have experienced DPT on several occasions, and each experience has been rewarding to very favourable measures. This drug instantly puts me in positions of space that are always challenging to manage. All of my journeys have been undertook by snorting the chemical. My highest dose has been 72 milligrams, and I have found 62 milligrams to be plenty. There is consistently a quick rise into a brutal peak, that lasts for 1 hour to 1.5 hours. Then the experience plateaus for another hour and quickly fades into the afterglow.
The peak is very intense. The atmosphere that inhabits all of the visuals usually begins to change into very grotesque faces. During this time, emotion is building up very rapidly. Then, looking at these faces for too long, they start to turn evil; and they begin to become so evil and real that I know if I keep looking at them they will devour me. So I look somewhere else. More grotesque visuals that also become evil. And this is usually what happens during the entire peak, while the whole room moves and shakes. If you can imagine a train hitting you every time you looked at something for too long; then you would sort of get an idea of the peak. The magnitude of power just keeps building and building, like a giant angry monster getting more and more angry. The sharpness of vision and the visuals keep getting more amazing and incredible.
After the peak, the journey, when examined, can best be described as continually passing through a cycle. And while passing through, I would align with intensity to certain degrees. To ride that out, I had to maintain balance in the cycle and not drift off too far, because if I did, I would probably lose consciousness; and besides, it was too terrifying to drift off too far. On one degree, I would experience terror linked with a hollow sensation that can only be described as pure death. On the next degree, I would experience an even greater terror linked with an even greater hollow sensation of death. The hollow sensation, or Death Itself, was what I feared most, and was what I was struggling to not drift closer to or feel the hollowness of. This is what I can call as trying to keep it together.
This awesome drug is is a terrifying experience, but this is also a necessary element, because from the terror, peace is found. This is the most interesting part of everything experienced, because at this point peace is a very rewarding feeling to try to maintain. Peace is very much valued, because from there it is possible to channel this incredible power and explore it, and understand it. I also noticed this cycle was connected to the patterns in my visual field. The patterns would align to different emotions to certain degrees, and everything would shift simultaneously as one. Incredibly awesome. One interest that I had while experiencing this is the question that what if I would actually allow myself to go deeper into this hollow Death sensation. What would happen? My best guess would be that I would die or fall unconscious.
This brings me into my observation of the overall sensation of feeling like my being is passing through a complete cycle of all of these above described perceptions, and then into a deeper examination. What if this altogether perceived process is my being becoming aware of its potential to ‘come apart’ at a level unexplored? ‘Coming apart’ is the way that I can best describe what is felt when separating from the peace or terror, and into the hollow Death sensation. Ideas have been presented that it is possible to heal sickness by willing yourself down to a cellular level, and healing has been accomplished in Ayahuasca ceremonies. There are ideas that the Elves perceived while experiencing DMT are your own molecules communicating amongst themselves. This would explain how someone would be able to heal themself while on DMT, by becoming self aware of a process at a cellular or even atomic level. If I were to apply these ideas to the experiences I’ve had with DPT, I would say that the ‘coming apart’ that I’ve experienced is possibly becoming self aware in a way somewhat similar. Being in the part of space acquired with DPT certainly changes the way we perceive how we are part of the Universe Itself.
If you have seen The Matrix Reloaded, there is a part where Neo goes to see the Oracle, but he must fight someone who protects the Oracle in order for him to be sure that he really is Neo, or The One. When Neo asks the man protecting the Oracle why did he fight him; he says, “You do not truly know someone unless you fight him. I wanted to be sure that you are The One”
And Neo responds, “You could have just asked.”
And this relates to the afterglow that DPT leaves. After a very brutal experience, comes the feeling of truly knowing and understanding something sacred and personal. Depending on the intensity of the DPT journey, the afterglow could be peaceful or else a traumatic reflection of the emotional terror that has been endured. For me, it is a mixture of both of these components, like yin and yang. And this is an essential requirement for what has been learned, because it is both respected and understood.
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