Review Erowid at GreatNonprofits.org
Help us reach 1275 reviews! And spread the word that accurate info about psychedelics and other drugs improves health, culture, and policies.
Downward Spiral
Cocaine
by Meg
Citation:   Meg. "Downward Spiral: An Experience with Cocaine (exp28310)". Erowid.org. Nov 11, 2003. erowid.org/exp/28310

 
DOSE:
  insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)


I remember the first time I tried coke, or yayo as my now roommate called it. I didnt even know what it was, I thought yayo was a nickname for weed (yes I was very naive for a freshman in college). My friend warned me about the addictiveness, and said if I had an addictive personality not to try it, but I ignored her. The first time I tried it I felt nothing. I was so disappointed, this was what we all split 80 bucks for? But she told me that I had to try it again, cuz that was really bad coke...and so I did, and I loved it.

This was the beginning of the week before my birthday. The two of us blew almost everynight that week, ending with a celbatory gram for my birthday... and this was my downfall. For easter we went home for the sole purpose of getting good coke from boston, and I made some connections in my hometown.. All I could think about was coke. Julie was much better at controlling herself with it, where as if I had a gram I would do it nonstop until it was gone.

Over the summer I lived at school, but I would drive home (3 hrs each way) several times a week for the sole sake of buying coke. I babysat and worked all the time to get money for it... I got on good relations with my dealer so I could get better deals and such...everything I ever wanted was out the door for coke. My parents began to wonder what was going on when they got my credit card bills everymonth. I was spending between 700 and 1500 a month. They didnt realize it was becuase their precious daughter was spending all her money on drugs. I was spending 2-300 a week on coke. I was doing 1-2 grams a day. I couldnt believe that no one knew about it. I always did it by myself, because I didnt want to share, and I knew my friends would be pissed if they knew, not to mention how my parents would react. But I knew they didnt suspect anything, my parents were just happy cuz I wasnt as depressed anymore (because I was coked up everytime I saw them)Everything was going great.

But then it happened. My sorority sisters found out and told me I had to quit coke or I was out of the sisterhood. I Actually considered leaving my friends for coke, but decided against it, so that was it, I had to stop. Keep in mind, they told me this during rush week, which is the most stressful week of sorority life, and I was in charge of making it run smoothly. And I tried to stop, I really did, but I couldnt, so I kept doing it.

But a few weeks ago I realized that I have a problem with coke if I cant stop. So I did it, I stopped using coke, and since then I have been the most depressed, moody, bipolar, bitch ever. I know that this is the worst its gonna get, but I dont know if I can last without it. I havent been going out, cuz partying makes me think about it, Ive just been sitting in my room crying..Im so afraid that im gonna give in and get some more. I owe my dealer money, and I just know when I go to see him Im gonna buy more... and I dont want to...but theres nothing I can do.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 28310
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 11, 2003Views: 24,450
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Cocaine (13) : Various (28), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults