Citation: kemi. "Hit By Car, Hit By Morphine: An Experience with Morphine (exp28149)". Erowid.org. Mar 4, 2011. erowid.org/exp/28149
It was the day I decided to quit smoking. I was working in a hardware store at the time, and standing at my register I just decided I didn't need tobacco anymore. I threw my pack into the bin on the way out. I'd been let go late AGAIN and had to run for the bus. It took me to my stop and I hopped out and started walking through the backstreets towards my house. I got to my street and started to cross to my side when bright headlights came flying around the corner of the intersection straight towards me. I had a brief moment to brace myself for impact. The car came within an inch of my legs... Then blackness. An indescribable abyss. When I came around I was still on the road, and lights were flashing around me. There were police cars and an ambulance, and people were standing around. I had no idea what had happened and tried to leave the scene, but could not stand. I felt no pain at all, and I thought I was fine until I was on my way to the hospital. I realized that my shoulder felt strange. I could feel the segments of bone floating around in my jellified flesh. But the pain hadn't arrived yet... I was in shock.
By the time I got to the hospital, however, the pain was intense. They wheeled me into the emergency ward, where they put me in an empty room to await assessement. The nurse came by and put an IV shunt into a vein on my right arm. There was talk of emergency surgery cus I was bleeding internally, which made me very anxious. I was very scared and in intense pain. It was awful. Eventually they told me they were going to give me pain relief, which I cheered for as best I could. First they flushed my vein with cold water which was a new and strange feeling, but not unpleasant. The coldness went up my arm and into my undamaged shoulder, then dissipated. Next they put in some kind of anti-spew serum, which I cant remember feeling. Then they put the first lot of pure morphine in. They only put a small amount in at first..5cc I think. I guess this was to test if I was allergic. Immediately I felt calmer. The pain was still there... But it felt different somehow. It's hard to describe. The pain became a new sensation. Pain... But not painful. My lifelong fear of surgery subsided. I decided that whatever the doctors thought was best for me I'd go along with. I became kind of cheerful.
Looking back, it was absurd considering the situation. I lay on the trolly in the room, chatting to whoever happened to stop by to poke and prod me like they were old friends. I was probably speaking complete shit, but they all humored me anyway. I was wheeled into a dark room where they x-rayed me, and then into another where they had to do an ultrasound on my shoulder to see if the main artery was severed. I was still really out of it.. Feeling very floaty, but the pain was back. They had to press the ultrasound thingy into my ruined shoulder. It hurt like a motherfucker. All I remember is pain and complaining to whoever was torturing me like this. Afterward they took me back to the empty room where they promptly shot me up with another 10cc. This time the effect was more obvious. I lost the urge to chat immediately. My body sunk into the linen on the trolly. The ceiling was so close and so far away at the same time. The pain in my shoulder changed again. It became a warm tingling sensation. I felt total euphoria, body, mind and soul. I lay there, becoming more and more grateful for my misfortune. People spoke to me, but all I could manage was 'ga' and 'duh' in reply. I lay there in utter bliss, having no concept of time.
At some point, a nurse stopped by and gave me another 5cc. I can't really recall the next few minutes/hours? I remember the paint on the ceiling warping various shades of blue swirls, but that's all. Eventually it started to wear off, however, and the results of the x-ray and the ultrasound came back. My neck was intact, and so was my artery, so they took off the neck thingy so that a could move my head again, and I didn't need surgery. I was so thirsty. (apparently my flatmates and my dad had been in the room with me for some of the time, and I'd been constantly begging for water, which they wouldn't give me for some reason) I was allowed to sit up for some water, and as soon as I raised my head I felt intensely nauseous. But I didn't yak for some reason and was able to sip some. Being a public hospital, they got rid of me asap. They put my arm in a sling and gave me some codeine tablets. At this point I was getting disappointed. I didn't want to leave. I wanted more morphine. I asked for some more and they said no. I still felt good, but the euphoria was dissipating fast. I think my dad drove me home and the first thing I did when I got there was lie down and bum a cigarette of one of my flatmates, which was heavenly. Then I passed out.
I loved morphine. It made the most awful experience of my life one of the most pleasant, if only for a few hours, and I can see how people would get addicted to opiates so easily. Which is why I don't recommend it as a recreational drug. I think if I tried it outside of hospital I'd get hooked for sure and be fucked.
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