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Not Ecstatic
Ecstasy
by Sab
Citation:   Sab. "Not Ecstatic: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp27911)". Erowid.org. Oct 27, 2003. erowid.org/exp/27911

 
DOSE:
0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 50 kg


I went to a rave party last Saturday with some friends and took ecstasy for the first time, and didnít like it. I donít know if this is a normal thing to happen, what it is due to, and I donít know anything about pills so I just took whatever my friend put into my mouth.

I was expecting to feel high, to have a lot of energy, and to feel hot. What happened was the exact contrary, and I canít explain it. We arrived at the party after 1 hour waiting for all our friends under the rain, so I was very cold and a bit tired. I thought the pill would wake me up and give me some more vitality.

At first it didnít do anything, and then I started to feel so cold that I was shaking and I had to keep a coat, when everybody was dancing and sweating. My legs were really tensed and shaking, so was my whole body. I felt extremely low and lazy and I couldnít really move, and I was moving my jaws compulsively. All my muscles were tensed and I thought that it was due to the cold. I felt really outside of everything (I donít know if this is due to the pill or to my own mood), and I kept on chewing the same chewing gum for the whole night (my teeth and gums were painful the day after). I felt tired and low, so I didnít feel like dancing, probably because I felt cold.

I also felt extremely guilty towards my friends because I felt like I was preventing them from enjoying themselves so I told them just to leave me alone and to forget about me, but they wouldnít and they kept on putting water into my mouth (my mouth was extremely dry and sticky). I was persuaded that the pill prevented me from moving and dancing and my friends kept on saying that it was OK and that it was only in my mind and that I should just relax, but I couldnít because I felt that it didnít have the same effect on me as it had on others, and it scared me. My friends were really nice and trying to make me feel better, touching me and kissing me, or giving massages to my legs, but it just made me feel guilty that they should spend time with me rather than enjoying themselves, then I felt guilty that their efforts couldnít make me feel better, and I ended up feeling guilty for being cold and for feeling guilty, which is a vicious circle (for the whole night!!).

I didnít get high at all, but I went very low instead. I didnít know that ecstasy could do that, I never heard of that before.

The day after I felt really tired and slept for the whole day, much more than I usually do after a night out, and was normal again when I woke up. My friends could still and were still dancing and moving, and hear the music on the way back home.

I really wonder if this kind of experience has happened to anybody else and if ecstasy can have that effect, or is it only me??

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 27911
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 27, 2003Views: 4,994
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MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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