Citation: Jrock101. "It Changed Me: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp27772)". Erowid.org. Jun 28, 2007. erowid.org/exp/27772
Ok I first thing I would like to say is that for five years I have been struggling with an anxiety problem called social phobia which causes me problems even to go outside for fear of pretty much people. Going to school for me used to be hell just because everything I said or did made me feel like someone thought it was stupid or dumb... which was more of my self-conscious. Walking down the halls were torment just thinking that people were looking at me and talking about me or thinking how stupid I looked. Sometimes causing me to twitch while Iím walking. Malls were complete hell, anytime I could avoid them I would.
Even though I knew none of this was true, its something that I could not stop thinking about. Finally decided to self medicating myself and started drinking a lot to cover it up and open myself up, it helped for the time I was drunk but never any long time change. Which I never expected, after getting really drunk and coming home I admitted to my parents that I had been drinking and said that I had a problem and I wanted to speak to them about. Which they immediately flipped out on the fact that I had been drinking, than calmed down so that I could tell them what was wrong. At the time I was sixteen and told them everything and all they did was tell me it isn't that big of a deal and that it was just hormones. And I got grounded for like three months where I felt like shit and got dumped on the same day by my girlfriend. I sat in the bathroom for four hours not being able to even cry just stunned, it seemed like my parents saying it wasn't a big deal made it worse, but at least I had a reason to stay inside instead of lying to my friends.
Finally a year later my friend introduced me to Adderall and at that point I would have done anything that got me out of reality. So I snorted a whole pill and five minutes later I was a changed person, all smiley and happy. The phobia was gone thinking it would come back after I came down but it seemed to have faded a little bit. About two happy weeks later, I did another and after I came down it seemed it had completely diminished my phobia is completely gone, and I now use Adderall once or twice a month. Though sometimes I still get a little glittery nothing like before.
Another thing is I used to pity myself and sit in my room and just cry, which I was ashamed of and think about how bad I had it. I have now changed my view to the world and look at how bad people that are starving around the world have it, and foreign countries. Since my revolution, I now sponsor a child and donate money to charities.
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