Mushrooms - P. semilanceata
Citation: Flo. "Touched by the Goddess: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. semilanceata (exp27554)". Erowid.org. Dec 17, 2004. erowid.org/exp/27554
What I write below is an account of the most profound experience of my adult life. I must stress that previous to this experience before hand I have never been religious, have no history of mental trauma and was/am devotee of classical darwinian theory. This was my first experience with a potent entheogen.
After working abroad for the best part of a year in the Tropics I had returned home to my 'home' greatly changed. This world I had grown up in now seemed cold, materialistic and spiritually dead. I had always been interested in altered states and had (through my rainforest experiences) become much more acutely aware of aboriginal beliefs and how much more spritual they were. Furthermore my interests in ethnobotany had become ignited and blended wonderfully with my interests in ecology and conservation.
After reading several books concerning entheogenic plants over a period of 12 months I had seriously began to think about delving into the world of the entheogenic reality personally. The group I had found most intriguing were the tryptamine hallucinogens, primarily because of the profound effects reported by users the deep spiritual beliefs they had triggered throughout human history and their relatively low toxicity.
Consider my amazement whilst out walking on a sunny autumn day to stumble upon clutches of beautiful Psilocybes, which I promptly picked approx 70 of. After discusion with my ever supportive wife a good friend and I decided that the following evening we (my friend and I) would wrap up warm ingest the mushrooms and take a nightime Hike along a local, familiar countryside route. I spent the day leading up to the journey relaxing and clearing my mind yet a feeling of absolute excitement hung over me.
The evening soon came and as soon as darkness fell my friend and I drove up into the hills parked the car (where we could walk home) and ingested 35 mushrooms (each) on a virtually empty stomach and washed them down with ginger ale. the night was cool still and crystal clear with zero light pollution. Approx 15 mins after ingestion (on an empty stomach) I began to feel a creeping uneasiness and slight gastric discomfort and for a fleeting moment some anxiety that I may have poisoned myself. After approx 45 minutes we sat down in a clear spot on the side of steep grassy hill and as we sat down we both felt what can only be described as a jolt of information or a shard of knowledge making us both jump and laugh nervously. Immediately following this my body began to buzz gently all over and the discomfort turned to a euphoria. All around me an overlay of geometric shapes appeared, translucent yet brightly colored. they ran over every surface closely mapping the contours. In this geometric grid were faint rapidly changing symbols kind of like hyroglyphics and blinking wide eyes.
Despite the surrealness of this new landscape everything seemed peaceful and my excitement had changed to a more relaxed and euphoric sense of wellbeing. We decided to climb the hill to it's summit and lie under the stars for a while as we were both feeling physically 'drunk 'and a little uncoordinated. By time we reached the summit (approx t+ 60mins)we could do nothing but lie down using our back packs as pillows and gaze into the sky. The geometric grid had subsided at this point and the sky had become the most beautiful spectacle I have ever seen. The stars appeared as they truly are in full 3-d perspective hanging below each other like cosmic chandeliers and I began to pick out the constellations I recognized with fantastic ease. Despite the physical inebriation my mind felt clear and switched on.
I closed my eyes only to see more stars there, so real I reached my hand out to touch them. These were beautiful deep space constellations I have never seen before... a Crocodile, a mushroom shaped galaxy and a rotating lotus leaf. I was in absolute ecstasy and now utter awe, simple melody free rythmic music (somwhat like tribal techno) pumped in head. Time meant nothing. I felt my spirit rise and energy flow from my fingertips into the cold grass until I felt pinned to the earth. Energy now flowed from my head out into the ground also and I felt integral with the earth. It felt perfect and yet so powerful I opened my eyes. Above in the stars formed the rotating lotus with a bright deeply concave centre where the brightest star sat. To my utter surprise my friend gasped' Can you see that!!' he said...we both stood and remained transfixed on this huge slowly rotating constellation. 'Is it the centre of the universe?' he asked somewhat shakily ' Yes I think so... ' was my reply.
As these last words left my mouth we were both blasted by something from the centre of this lotus that made us jump into the air and grab hold of one another the feeling was so sudden and intense. It felt like I had just been uploaded with divine knowledge!! A feeling of immense ecstasy overwhelmed us both and we fell to the ground gasping and laughing intensely. This feeling was so profound we decided we must walk home quickly to try and assimilate what had just happened. We walked rapidly down the hill. At the bottom of the hill we passed a small overgrown wood and my companion expressed some fear at its darkness and suggested we hurry past. I gently encouraged him to stand for a minute and look into it. The forest was breathing pulsating slowly, a primordial sound of frogs and crickets echoed throughout the air. The dark greys blacks and blues made way for deep greens and golds and the air warmed up. It felt tropical and primitive... like an earth before /without/after man. Its intensity was overwhelming I tried to step back but my feet felt bound to the earth and instead nearly fell forward. It was though the earth wanted me to watch..
I regained my balance and again my friend asked if I could see 'it'. I replied I could for I knew exactly what he meant. Each tree had begun to emit a bright yellow aura. I looked down at my hand and it too was emitting this visible energy. The light from my hand fused with the tree lights creating a aura that encompassed both me and the trees. I gasped and looked at my friend who had his hand outstretched toward the forest with the same aura emitted from his body and again connected to the forest. 'what is happening?' he asked with a little anxiety' Words failed me.. I looked at my friend in the eye and saw the aura intensify on his forehead ' Your forehead is glowing he told me!! ' We both felt an amazing unspoken bond and looked back into the forest. A warm strong gust of wind blew through the forest at us which bathed me in a sense of well being.
Suddenly I felt a confusing and overwhelming mixture of love and sorrow for the world the wind blew again stronger. 'It's alright the wind seemed to say', but you must wake up... love is the way of the universe…love for all and everything.. It is time to new…to make peace.. this is the true nature of nature... I felt small compared to this other, unified and above nothing in the universe, ego-less and humbled, just part of it yet unconditionally loved by it.
The aura and sound subsided and we left immediately stumbling down the hill towrds home. We spoke little maybe too confused too approach the subject of what had just happened. My friend tried to utter a few words but stuttered only. I felt an immense sadness that when we need them most our limited vocabulary of words fails us. ' It's alright I said.. ‘‘ That's what she told me He said !! From the moment on I never once doubted the credibility of the events of that evening. We were both touched by something divine.. Mother Universe I call it the goddess he called it....I fell into deep contented sleep on returning home.
For 3 days I felt ecstatic cleansed changed, positive and full of hope and boundless love for nature and all humanity. The experience has positively changed my worldview and my approach to dealing with and helping people and investigating natural systems. I can only describe what happened as a deeply religious experience…where nature is god and the universe the church. It was though I was finally awakened, that the mushroom finally brought me together whole and spirited.
For a first time experience I feel blessed to have felt this power of nature, this oneness and wholeness with the earth I have always loved. For this I thank the sacred mushroom.
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