Citation: Roon. "Intense Gloom: An Experience with Nutmeg (exp27543)". Erowid.org. Feb 7, 2007. erowid.org/exp/27543
I heard about nutmeg as a drug a few years back. I was sure it was just some kind of urban myth. After mentioning it to my friend, we looked at eachother and said simultaneously - 'let's do it'...
I was about 3pm. With complete ignorance, we bought a 25 g packet of dried nutmeg between us and started eating it right outside the shopping centre, before realising this was not going to be possible without the aid of some kind of food or beverage. I remembered that they use nutmeg on custard tarts, so it was off to the bakery for us. The tart tasted awful. Plan B involved taking a mouthful of nutmeg and a mouthful of coke and swallowing. It tasted so bad it was funny, but it was at least going down. It was doubly funny to see the look on my friend's face as he forced the stuff down his throat, while in the back of my mind I thought 'this isn't even going to get you high, you sucker'. I'm sure the same thought was in the back of his mind when it was my turn to splutter and swig.
We decided we hadn't tortured ourselves enough, and bought another 25 g packet, which went down like a dream - not.
The immediate effects, I now put down to placebo. I mentioned I thought the road looked kind of wavy, and my friend did too. It was probably caused by tears from eating the nutmeg. So that was our fun for the day. We headed home where we would typically dream up some more pointless acivities in substitute for boredom.
I think it was now about 6-7pm. We were both in the living room - I was listening to music, while friend read magazines. He started trying to convince me that the words looked really funny. I thought 'What an idiot', not realising that in about ten minutes it would dawn on me that I had been off my face for some time.
We really couldn't come to grips with the fact that the nutmeg had acutally done its job. In fact for the whole night whenever I thought of it I would say to myself 'I don't believe it'. The feeling is like being really really stoned, but sort of lost at the same time, mixed with 1 cup 'I'm not sure I like this'.
I had promised my friend's brother we would go out nightclubbing. Although I was in no state to to go, I decided not to let him down. I took a shower before we left. As I was about to get in the shower, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. At the time I had dreadlocks, and this voice in my head was teasing me, saying 'you hairy little animal'. That sentence went over and over and over and over and over in my head as I showered.
I shut my eyes and a new world opened up - I was in a hedge maze and there was no way out. This didn't scare me, because I knew there really was a way out - open your eyes! Since I had this control, I stayed in mazeworld, and walked around in the maze. I physically moved my feet like I was walking, when I got to a corner, I physically turned 90 degrees, and 'walked' to the next corner. This was great fun, and the sensation of the water from the shower head hitting me from one side, then another, and the wet splashy carpet on the floor of the maze all added to an enjoyable disorientation. I still couldn't shut up the incessant hairy little animal voice, though.
Driving into the city was fun, and the g-forces from the car were intense. At the nightclub I was anti-social. My friend's brother and I stood in a circle with a group of people that he knew, but I didn't. I couldn't pay attention to anything that was being said. Every ten seconds I would pass out, and begin to fall over, but I would regain consiousness before and straighten up again. This cycle continued for the whole time I was at the club. I worried that I would really pass out. No-one knew I was on nutmeg, even the friend's bro (there is no way they would understand. No way). I remember I developed this inspector gadget go go gadget hearing where this sattelite dish sort of opened up around my ear, and I could hear other conversations on the far side of the nightclub, even with the loud music.
After a while I felt sick, and saying I was a bit off colour, I got the car keys and went out to lie in the car. I had to get out and throw up at one stage. Sausages from the BBQ dinner we had. From this point on the nutmeg was not enjoyable. The effects of marijuana by now would have long worn off, but this stuff was just as intense as ever, and showed no signs of letting up.
Back home now and time for bed. I hit the sack and basically pass out. I was living with the friend that I did the nutmeg with, and we shared the same room. There was no conversation between us when I got home. He was in his own little world of too much fun, and I was in mine. No words were necessary. I did notice he was far from smiling.
In the morning I woke up to the feeling of nutmeg completely unabated. Friend did too. He looked at me with a really sick face and said - quote - 'This is fucked'. We had decided that we had done something very wrong, and the feeling was not going to end. The nightclub passout feeling was the order of the day for me. A repetitive waking up and wondering where I was.
It's a bit like when you're young and you go on a theme park ride. It's fantastic, but then you reach this point of 'Can you stop the ride now, please? No, really, I've had enough. I'm serious!! PLEASE STOP!!!'. Then you throw up, but the ride keeps going and going.
By that night we were both glad to be coming down, although it wasn't until the next day that we were totally back to clowning around like a couple of morons.
The nutmeg experience seemed to involve many themes repeating over and over, and generally lots of repetition. It would have been better if we knew what to expect, and more comforting to know that it wasn't going to last forever - thinking that was pretty scary.
You should respect nutmeg, and try to plan how much you have, and what you are going to do with your time on it. We were really too 'young in the head' to do this drug. I would get a lot more out of it now with a bit more life behind me. It's not a recreational drug - you shouldn't do it purely for the high, but to explore the experience from a higher level.
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