Citation: Case. "Preloading = Short Term Memory Loss: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy), Tryptophan - 5-HTP & Vitamins (exp27517)". Erowid.org. Oct 17, 2007. erowid.org/exp/27517
On two different occasions with 2 different types of Ecstasy pills (or pills that were claimed to be ecstasy) I experienced extreme loss of short term memory. For both occasions I pre-loaded with Vitamin B12, niacin, niacinamide, magnesium and 5-HTP. On both occasions, I felt ecstatic for a while then experienced total confusion due to a lack of memory. On both occasions the person with me tried the same pills, although they did not pre-load, and had no memory-loss.
I was with a different person each time and both report the same thing. That I had completely forgotten what was going on and kept asking them what was happening. They would explain to me that I had taken ecstasy and was forgetting everything. As soon as they told me I had already forgotten and was asking them again. Apparently I drove both of these people crazy for hours with this.
After the first occasion I woke up the next morning and after a short while realized that I had done E but could not remember what had happened. A phone call to the friend that was with me cleared it all up for me.
After the second occasion, I woke up at my friend's place with out any memory of where I was, who's place it was, who I was, how I got there, etc. The friend was so mad at me for what I put her through that she kicked me out of her place. I spent hours driving around lost in Brooklyn Queens. Finally I found a highway and 8 hours later I found my home. I could not remember where I worked at first, and after I remembered, I knew I could not remember how to perform my job (it relied heavily on rapid memory recall). So I never went back to it.
In the following weeks I experienced severe depression and many panic attacks. Many times a day, I would get that feeling I get when I am very close to remembering something, like a dream, but when I was about to remember it I would get a panic attack and forget it all. The next 2 months was a struggle against my own fear and depression and lack of memory. I found a new job and slowly got my self back together, although it seems I have suffered a permanently lessened short-term memory recall. Making it through all that completely on my own was the hardest thing I have ever had to live through.
I have never conclusively figured out what wrong, but now that I am reading about the debates about the possible neurotoxicity of 5-HTP, I wonder. For the sake of science, I offer this report, for what it's worth.
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