Citation: SCIPHAN123. "Stronger, Wiser, and A Little Colder: An Experience with Hydrocodone (exp27114)". Erowid.org. Aug 4, 2007. erowid.org/exp/27114
I hope and wish that everyone reading this take this seriously. First I will give a short background of my self. I am 18 years old, male, and started off just smoking pot, mixing that with a few beers and shots. It was about a year ago that a friend offered me vicodin. I gladly took it remembering that I had taken it a few years back for a knee surgery and instantly fell in love. The next day she gave me more and my doctor gave me a narcotic cough medicine called hycodan which contains vicodin, and I slowly became dependent on it. This may take some time varying from person to person, but it happens. I was not even a depressed youth I just fell in love with Vicodin, the fact that everything was enjoyable while I was fucked up.
So anyways it was only about a month or two until I was using every day, finding ways to get my pills, usually taking about 3-4 a day. However, this slowly progressed until it reached 10,15,20, and ended at about me taking about 30 vicodins a day or percocets. Percocet is a similiar drug with similiar effects. I lied, stole from my parents, stole from my friends, and just totally altered my lifestyle. I began to spend massive amounts of time just sitting in my room popping vics and smoking ciggarettes until I eventually had to drop out of college, because I wasnt going to class at all.
When I got home I scored around a 130 pills from random doctors, as I complained about chronic:) knee pain, and they gladly gave me prescriptions that I needed to support my habbit. It was not until a week ago that I ran out, I actually had a refill on my vicodin waiting at my local Walgreens, but the pharmacist sent me away saying that I was refilling it to quickly to frequently. So I was left with nothing to take and began to get very scared as I had never in a year, really had to prepare myself for the withdrawal symptoms that an addict goes through without their drug. It was that night that I was sitting on my porch looking at the stars smoking a ciggarette that I broke down: I started crying and was so tired of pain killers (little fucking white pills) running my life. My dad, a real cool guy, found me just sitting there crying and I began to explain to him what I had been up to for the past year and that I needed help. He was real cool about it and the next morning he and I checked me into a detox center.
There I was givin a similiar opiate to vicodin and they slowly weened me off of it safely. There I attended group meetings and met a lot of people going through the same shit as I am, but I noticed that all of them were alot older than me. This was a chilling reminder of what I never wanna end up being: washed up, old, with no hope. Most of them had been there so many times and one told me that she no longer wanted to live and planned on ending her life when she got out of the center. Pretty scary shit for a kid thats only 18 to have to go through, but in the end I left there stronger, wiser, and a little colder.
I got out of the detox center two days ago and tommorow Im starting a out patient program where I will be for 7 hours a day and at night I will attend AA meetings and things like that. I still dont feel great but atleast there is hope now, something I hadnt had for awhile.
For anyone reading this I hope you get something out of it. Dont let drugs ruin your life. I wish you all the best and happiness in your life.
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