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Was I Delusional?
H. B. Woodrose & Cannabis
by Artiststranger
Citation:   Artiststranger. "Was I Delusional?: An Experience with H. B. Woodrose & Cannabis (exp26849)". Erowid.org. Jun 17, 2008. erowid.org/exp/26849

 
DOSE:
14 seeds oral H.B. Woodrose (seeds)
    repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)

BODY WEIGHT: 145 lb


Not too long ago me my GF and 3 other people journeyed out to the woods of a nearby park to expirience the effects of Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds. For me it was my second expirience with this substance, so it was for my GF, however other 3 people expirienced it for a first time.

This time I decided to ingest 2 seeds more than last time. So for me it was 14, my GF was 12, and other 3 people all ingested 11 seeds. From the first expirience I knew that I get sick for about an hour and a half and then smoking a little cannabis cures the problem fairly well. This was a different batch of seeds from a different supplier and the difference in effects was so tremendous that first and second times could be hardly compared.

We ingested the seeds at about 7:30-8pm on our walk to the park. It was getting dark and was a little cloudy. When we got to the park I could feel little uneasy feeling in my stomach and could say that my perception of reality was slowly changing. About an hour later we figured it was a good time to smoke a J. of cannabis prerolled a little before. It went around a couple of times and when it was done I started feeling the effects of HBW come on.

When we just started smoking that J, we saw a big moon come up over the lake so we decided to walk closer to the water that seemed really still. We stood by the water for a little bit and saw a glow bugs that seemed to be on the ground by water. They were not the flying kind but the bug kind that crawls. I picked up a leaf with one of them and it was very cool looking bug that kept shining just a little bit every few seconds. After a couple of minutes of looking at it we decided to leave it alone and walk back to the original place we were sitting at. The walk back that was about 1 minute long, seemed much longer, it almost seemed that were were walking on one of those trademills that rotate under your feet, and you could step all you want but will not get anywhere.

We were back. I lit the candle that I found on the way to the park, one of the people lit the incence and the place we were occupying got filled with a nice aroma. The effects were coming in stronger and stronger. It was getting kind of hard to see around you since everything kind of blended in one mix of fractal patterns. At some point I noted that the last batch of seeds were not nearly so visual. And we didn't even get really sick this time. I had a feeling that I just wanted to lay on the ground and watch the sky. It was euphoric, pleasant, but at times scarily overtaking. I felt as I wanted to plunge into my self, into deep realms of my psyche and perhaps the psyche of all, but I couldn't let go of reality enough to do that.

At one point I layed on the ground and looked into the sky directly above me. All over sudden I noticed that the outline of the trees around the patch of skies was making a shape of a almost perfect heart and the sky with a few stars in the middle of it looked beautiful. I called my GF over and told her that I had something for her. I told her to lay down and follow my hand, as I outlined the heart shaped line of the woods. She exclaimed, 'Holy Shit' and started laughing. At the time I was feeling this love and peace which I wanted to share with other people of the group. I told one of the guys to check it out, but when I layed on the grass in the different spot I realized that the vantage point was so different that it didn't look anything like a heart, I tried doing the outline, and the kid answered 'Uhuh, Looks like ameoba.'

That gave me weird uneasy feeling for a second and felt kind of stupid, I realized that it was pointless to try share something like that. And I felt awkward. I got up and moved back by my GF, and then got up and sat on the picnic table. One of my friends broke out a bunch of little glow sticks and threw a bunch of them into the air, they flew like fireworks leaving behind them amazing trails and landed on the ground. Looking at one of them from the distance of about five feet there was an aura of color around them I would say 1/2-1/1 feet wide.

I layed down on the picnic table and tried to go inside of my conciousness. About later 2 minutes in I heard a car driving by (or so it seemed) which immediately sent me into panic, considering the park is supposed to be closed at night. I jumped up and said that we have to move from the spot. I realized that the car was not really there, but the sudden call on my part was so strong that after all we decided to change locations at least for a little bit.

We decided to walk by the torn down old stone house that was not too far away. As we started walking down the trail I realized that visual distortions were worse than I thought. People were carrying glowsticks, that was making it almost impossible to adjust to the darkness and see around me or under my feet. We realized that the glowsticks were making it so hard to see we put them away and walked toward the house.

At this point I could say that this was probably most psychedelic and altered state that I have ever expirienced. I felt euphoric, but at the same time there was some kind of anxiety among/about the people I was with. I felt somewhat lost, feeling some kind of strange negative vibe that I could not quite figure out. We sat inside of the house for a while, and it was a strange expirience at least for me. I felt somewhat worried about some members of the party and kept catching a weird negative feelings that were floating around. I could exactly tell who they were coming from and why.

Soon we decided to leave the house and walk back to the grass, because we were feeling incapacitated and the old spot was much better for lying down since there was nice patch of grass. We started walking back to picnic table and on the way on of the people threw up an orange that he ate just a little bit before. My GF stopped and was worried, but I knew that he was going to be fine. After he was done he stated that it was rather interesting expirience and it made him feel better. I thought it would.

At this point I kept getting confused and catching the pieces of verbal thought that were traveling in the air. Two of the people kept talking, and I kept getting that they were talking in a negative way about me. I couldn't judge how true it was so I chose to ignore everything and play stupid. I don't know if it was wise decision but since communicating was so difficult, there is not much I could do. I kept hearing their encoded sentences that seemed to make out things like this:

'I can't understand if he is stupid or he plays a role and pretends to be one kind of like hamlet'

'But there is something else behind him.'

'Yeah, but there are different circumstances... he is different... his history...his past...'

I felt misinterpreted and misunderstood, inadequate and somewhat upset. I felt as if I was treated with disrespect. I saw it as people that I was trying to count and see as my brothers were treating me as inferior or inadequate person. At the same time I couldn't judge if it was real or just. Perhaps it was and I deserved what I got. Despite the negative feelings I decided to ignore them as inexistent and confusion. But I still had tension in my chest. Everybody decided to walk back, I started getting anxiety because I don't like to be in civilization while so fucked up. However my friend calmed me down even not in the nicest way, and I felt better. And later my GF reinforced my feeling.

I always knew that I could rely on her. She knows what to say to make me feel better and I sometimes feel like we are two sides of the same coin. As we walked out toward civilization I felt better little by little. We walked across college campus and ended up in these peoples appt. I sat down and finally relaxed. I still had that weird negative vibe feeling, as I was judged and almost looked down or laughed at and that made me feel uncomfortable, even though the setting was comfortable. Somehow I kept getting the feeling that my presense was unwanted and I was expected to leave, and at the same time there was a feeling that this was a test. I just went with the flow and even though I felt awkward I sat on the couch, and the layed on the floor.

People put in a episode of simpsons and I was getting this delusional feeling that this Simpsons episode was supposed to carry some kind of strange sublime meaning that I just couldn't get. It happened to me before that I got delusional like that and it usually gives me feeling anxiety and paranoya. I wanted to leave this appt. so soon me and my GF did. I said peace to everybody and we left. We went back to my GF's place which was empty, I rolled a jay and we smoked and relaxed. I felt all shaken up on the inside as I always do when I feel delusional.

Overall I had a great expirience, of tremendous intesity that I am still trying to understand. Along with unwanted and overwhelming feelings there were revelations, and feelings of beauty euphoria and sometimes total understanding of being. But in the next few moments while mixing with reality and attempting to communicate it would get transformed to confusion. Was I really delusional or not I do not know. Perhaps I will ask the people that I was with if any of what I felt and thought was real. However I do not know if there is any chance that I could uncover the truth or weather anybody would want to reveal it.

It was very powerful educating expirience. And never the less that those people at times acted as jerks I am very thankful to them, because in the end they pulled me out of something that had a potential of taking my roof off. In this expirience I surrendered my rights as host or a leader and let my self be led by something else, which I am still trying to figure out.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 26849
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 17, 2008Views: 5,591
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H.B. Woodrose (26) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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