Citation: Pala. "Meeting Gaia via Psilohuasca: An Experience with Syrian Rue & Mushrooms (exp26731)". Erowid.org. Sep 11, 2003. erowid.org/exp/26731
Finally, at the end of the summer, I was able to try the Syrian Rue that I had had for a few months. I ground up a half ounce of mushrooms and the whole 30 grams of Rue and put each into a number of '00' capsules.
I fasted for the entire day and took in only a little liquid. I meditated for around 45 min that day and had been meditating consistently for a few weeks (and before the summer, I'd been meditating for a few months). At 4pm, I started to ingest the 3 grams of Rue in capsules. I consumed these over the course of 45min, and another 45 min after that, I consumed the 4 grams of mushrooms in capsules. I was expecting the effects to come on in 20-40 min, but after they had not kicked in, I check the bag of capsules and realized that I had vegetable capsules, not gelcaps. I had read (after I'd made the capsules) that the V caps take 2-3 hours to dissolve, so I was in for a wait.
Finally, at around 8pm (nearly 3 hours after ingesting the mushrooms), the effects started to hit me. Physically, I was a bit unstable, and I saw strange patterns on the faces of my roommates. I believe that these were the Arabic visuals that are often associated with psilohuasca. Other than that, OEVs were not much to speak of. I went into my room, intending to watch the CEVs and have a shamanic experience. I was not dissappointed! I laid down and threw on some high-quality headphones with Shpongle - starting with Are You Shpongled and followed by Tales of the Inexpressible.
At first, the scenes presented to me were quickly changing, but after a bit, I began to zoom in on a rainforest. I soon found myself in a strange 'room' in the trees. I felt the presence of some beings outside the room, and I felt that they knew of my existence, but that I was not of much importance to them. I started asking questions, but received no answers.
Suddenly, a creature pulled my lower eyelid open, and I saw a red-faced being that appeared to be a native, yet was not entirely human. More of a spiritual being. He and I were sitting on a platform high up in the trees of the forest, and it was clear that he was a representative from whatever was 'in there' (I felt that I was outside a secret world of unimaginable glory that lay inside the forest). I understood that this guide was appraising me, noting my intentions and my qualities. For that reason, I analyzed my own motives to ensure that they were pure. This being spoke not in words, but in strange, deep syllables filled with substance and meaning. Indeed, that was how he responded to all of my questions. After waiting for a while and asking some questions to which I received no answer, I asked if I could be shown the secrets of the forest, and I was transported 'inside.' I was surrounded by huge trees (I was high up in one), and saw that they were more alive than alive. These trees, especially the one that I was in, were conscious and could speak (they truly reminded me of the ents in the Lord of the Rings movies).
Sensing that my tree-guide was benevolent, I began to speak with it and ask it about the forest. It had a wise, slow, deep, patient voice and seemed to choose its words carefully.
(note: this deep connection with trees was likely related to a deep connection I felt with one tree in particular during an LSD experience the week before)
During our conversation, I learned that the trees and the other creatures of the forest made the music (the music that came from the Shpongle CD, but, of course, I heard it coming from the forest). Music was the most important part of their lives; it related information about all aspects of life in the forest, provided organization, community, spirituality, and direction, and guided their future.
At this point, there was a bunch of commotion - everything was moving, travelling, and with much purpose and excitement. Creatures were coming from all around the forest and even beyond. The forest was clearly making something, but what? Suddenly, I had a vision of an embryo and asked my tree guide for an explanation of what was happening. The tree told me that it was a new orchestra leader who would, in the future, lead the song of the forest. Indeed, the forest music needed a leader much as a orchestra needs a conductor. The reason all the creatures were coming was to pay their respects and to infuse the embyro with all the knowledge, spirit, and secrets of the forest through song, dance, and art. The tree told me that the new orchestra leader must know everything about the forest if he/she is to help make the music. After all, the music must be able to tell of everything having to do with life in the rainforest - it must have the utmost flexibility and depth.
During this commotion, I asked the tree where else they make music, and he showed me spectacular visions of rivers, deserts, savannas, waterfalls, and horses galloping in the valley of great mountains. This told me that this was the song of nature (Gaia), which was performed throughout the world wherever nature reigned.
At some point around this time, in attempting to figure out my own identity, I realized that I was a young one of 'them' (but maybe not a tree), and that I was being shown all about Gaia and the forest, much as any child learns about his world. The tree confirmed this realization when I asked him.
At this, I felt intense rejoicing, exaltation, glory, and peace, knowing that I actually belonged in such a beautiful, spiritual place. I was not merely a visitor; I was one of them!
After this rejoicing, I was reminded of the importance of the song and asked the tree what would happen without the song. He replied that the forest would be unable to function - it would have no knowledge and no direction. He further told me of one forest that had lost/forgotten its song. I asked him about it further, and as a response I was transported to that very forest. I asked one of those trees about that fateful day, and she (it was a female tree this time) told tales of utter panic and confusion. She was visibly shaken just from the memory of such a horrifying occurance. When I asked how the forest regained its song, she told of how a tree from another forest was sent to this forest and helped get the song started again. You see, the forests help each other for the benefit of all - it is a truly partnership relationship. Self-aware symbiosis, you might say.
Back in the first rainforest, my conversation with the old tree reveals that they want to make music with me, to welcome me into the song of the forest. 'They' start inspecting me, and a female spirit of the forest (who I understood to be a sort of incarnation of Gaia) began probing me. I realized she was inspecting my genitals (this was shocking to me). We began to make love in an incredibly spiritual, tantric way. It was completely innocent, meaningful, pure, and symbolic. Our love was making music for the forest, and we joined their song. When it ended, I was completely satisfied and at peace. Contentment would be an understatement.
The second Shpongle CD ended, and I put on Terry Riley and the Kronos Quartet - Cadenza on the Night Plain. This classical music, while very spiritual and beautiful, is in sharp contrast to the naturistic, ethnic, organic music of Shpongle (this was the first time I'd listened to Shpongle, and IMO it's extremely shamanic), and due to this move from nature to more 'constructed,' 'man-made' music, I saw visions of destruction of nature - all the typical scenes of pollution, logging, poaching, etc. Still in the forest, I again met the female spirit from earlier. Sobbing and looking helpful, afraid, and confused, she cried to me, 'It hurts. It burns.' She was unable to understand why someone would destroy the planet like this. My heart broke at this, as I too realized the horror of what was happening. Having had such an identification with nature and then seeing it destroyed was terrifying and heart-wrenching. I tried to comfort her and look for solutions, but all I could come up with was having everyone have the experience that I was having. Unfortunately, this is probably impossible. I also had a vision of moving Gaia to another planet or another realm of existence. This comforted me somewhat, but I realized that it was only a dream.
I listened to Terry Riley for a while longer before switching to Ravi Shankar - The Sounds of India. Early on in this CD, I realized that I had to leave the forest. It was something like fate - it was simply my dharma to leave and live outside of Gaia. I was surprised, as I had (I thought) previously learned that I was a member of the forest and meant to live there forever. This was painful, like having a limb cutoff. I felt like Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden (though I wasn't being kicked out, it was simply my undeniable future to leave). I was transported out of the forest to India (no doubt due to the music), and with this music, I met a sadhu (an Indian mystic/ascetic) who showed me that there were spiritual realities aside from Gaia that were equally pure, beautiful, transcendent, and perfect: deep inner peace, archetypal realms, etc. Unfortunately, the effects of the psilohuasca were beginning to wear off at this point, so I was unable to fully explore and experience these realms, but knowledge of their existence was comforting and intriguing. Indeed, I hope to explore other possibilities of paradise in future journeys.
I did get a glimpse of transcendent peace while listening to some Tibetan singing bowl music, but the constancy of the tones became unsettling after a while.
All in all, this was an incredible journey, and my first taste of shamanic experience. I believe that I had a sort of classic nature trip, filled with symbolism and meaning. Perhaps not incredibly original, but very significant, interesting, real, and intense. The trip also reflected some of my own interests - nature and sadhus (I'd read a book about sadhus a few months earlier), in particular. I was also amazed at the ability to converse with these beings. The CEVs were incredible - intense and fantastically real. While I was somewhat functional (I could communicate and act 'normal') with eyes opened, when I closed my eyes it felt like I truly entered another world that had already existed (as opposed to a creation of my mind).
* Use gelcaps instead of vegetable capsules, which took 2.5-3 hours to dissolve.
* Psilohuasca seems to sensitize the skin - skin feels great, smooth.
* The experience was shorter than I'd expected - while reports said that rue doubles the length of the trip, I was asleep and sober 5 1/2 hours after the effects began.
* There were strange vibrations with eyes open - very strange effect, like 'bug vision.' OEVs don't compare to CEVs with psilohuasca.
* I'd characterize the experience as a low-to-mid level 4.
All in all - very shamanic. I got a sense of the notion of 'teacher plants.' This is a great combination. It works very well, and using capsules (or an extraction) really reduces nausea - I had almost no nausea at all.
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