Citation: Nog. "In the Garden of Eden: An Experience with MBDB (exp26415)". Erowid.org. Aug 27, 2003. erowid.org/exp/26415
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:20
||(powder / crystals)
The common sentiment I've been reading has been that MBDB is not a viable subsitute to MDMA, nor is it worth the trouble to procure and imbibe. I have to disagree with these points of view.
At 5:30 one evening, having a clear schedule and some time to explore this material one-on-one, I weighed out 167mg MBDB and swallowed it in a cup of water with four drops of a relaxing herbal tincture. It tasted like bitter rootbeer. I set about to prepare my environment for whatever the experience might have in store. Folding laundry, setting out incense, selecting music.
Not more than fifteen minutes later, I'm beginning to notice the effects of the MBDB. There was a certain impact to it that was difficult to recognize. It didn't come in a sweeping wave as MDMA does, nor did it creep up on me as with 2C-I. The most distinguishable change was this profound unimportance that seemed to come over everything I was doing. Not resisting this feeling, I dumped the rest of the unfolded laundry in the closet and went to sit down.
At the 45 minute mark, effects were starting to become more pronounced. Underneath this sort of dopey tendancy to smile was a feeling of mourning and lonliness, as though I'd lost something very important to me. It was a muted, desperate feeling, and it worried me to discover it. It soon passed. Bach's music had taken on a new edge, communicative and powerful, but I found myself unable to pay close attention to it. I was easily distracted. Suddenly, I began feeling very chatty. I boost with 66mg.
A little bit over an hour has passed now, and I'm starting to wish I'd waited until my girlfriend and I could do this together. Having no one to talk to, I start dialing the telephone. 'K' does not answer. 'S' does not answer either. 'E', fortunately, answers promptly. As we're talking, I feel compelled to apologize to him for an argument we'd had a year in the past.
Some time into our conversation, my dog comes over to me and puts her head on my lap, looking up at me expectantly. I know immediately what this means. This dog has to pee really bad. I glance at the VCR, which reads 7:00. She was last outside just three hours ago. I desperately don't want to put myself in the middle of the children and parents who populate these streets while in this eye-wiggling, jaw-clenching state, but this has to be done. I say goodbye to my friend, hang up the telephone, leash up the dog, and head to the field. I am glad we did.
Near my home is a large field covered in grass, sage, and wildflowers. Some distance inside is a hill which has a mouth to a young forest that extends all the way to city limits. After the dog has done her business, I venture inside.
Inside the forest was where I was struck by some of the most intense emotions I've ever been so fortunate to experience. As the wind moved through the leaves on the trees, something in my spirit came to attention. It felt as though the sound of the leaves was carefully orchestrated, anything but random; a song with an idea attached to it. This flood of feeling is causing me to shake. I turn my eyes to the trees surrounding, and I am blown away. The perceptions of beauty are overwhelming. I feel as though I am being called -- pleaded with -- to come home. The term 'Mother Nature' takes on new meaning. Having no coping mechanism for this type of experience, I'm reduced to muttering somewhat incoherently about how glorious this natural earth truly is. The Human Impact, the wars, the pollution, the consumption of resources, the rate of extinction, all of these things are temporary, and they too will pass. Nature's force is unrelenting, and eternally patient. This is what I learned.
The dog is running all around me bounding and leaping, playing in the woods. Entirely in the moment. We sat together, played together, communed together in that experience long enough to notice changes in the sky. It was getting dark. Feeling a chill, I decided to head back to the house. The VCR reads 9:00 when I arrive.
I scramble to the telephone to contact my girlfriend, 'N'. She answers, and reprimands me in good humour for having not waited for her. She says she will be home within half an hour.
By the time she arrived I was beginning to feel the effects of the MBDB taper. I began to notice some peculiar hallucinations, prominently CEV, but some startling OEV's as well. The hallucinations have the same nature as those observed on hefty doses of MDA; visuals that are strongly governed by suggestion and imagination. 'N' and I spoke for the next hour. At 11:00, we decide to get some sleep.
Sleep did not come easily, but it did come. I found myself feeling restless in bed, tossing and turning. I suppose I had a bit of excess energy. A 3mg melatonin tablet took care of it. The next morning I awoke feeling refreshed, contented.
After this experience, I must say I prefer MBDB to MDMA. MDMA carries me along with this feeling of delerium, a euphoria that is so overpowering that it feels I'm spinning out of control. I find that feeling to be uncomfortable, somewhat insincere. MBDB, while not as forceful as MDMA, opened up my heart to the expected feelings of empathy, compassion, and community. Something about MBDB, though, was much thicker, richer and more rewarding to me than MDMA ever was. I would compare MDMA to MBDB as I would compare maple syrup to honey.
There were also the notable MBDB effects, malcoordination, 'drunkheadedness'. I found this made some tasks difficult, but it was not a severe impairment.
I hope soon there will be more data to be researched about MBDB's potential for neurotoxicity, serotonin depletion, etc. I feel MBDB has a valuable role in the intro-explorations of responsible entheovoyagers, as well as in psychotherapy.
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