Citation: Raskolnikov. "Withdrawal Sucks: An Experience with Cannabis (exp25603)". Erowid.org. Jun 27, 2007. erowid.org/exp/25603
||(cookie / food)
I got back to school a week ago, after two weeks of holidays in which I stuffed myself with magic brownies containing at least two ounces worth of weed, as well as smoking bongs occasionally. I have been feeling withdrawal symptoms worse than ever before. This is my story.
During the day I try to be sociable and friendly to people, because I love friendship and I love making people feel good about themselves. It gives me great joy to be nice to someone and see my goodwill reciprocated even in the slightest.
For the past week the nights have been different altogether.
When I am alone in my room I remember things that happened during the day and sometimes when I think someone has slighted me it becomes blown all out of proportion. Several times I have just been furious for hours on end thinking of ways to exact vengeance on whoever it is who I perceive to have pissed me off.
Two nights ago it was the Vice-Principal at school because she referred to me as a 'kid,' saying 'this kid seems to know what he's doing,' in a seemingly condescending manner. What wrathful plans I had against the Vice-Principal! I decided that the next time I saw her, the least I would do would be to scream at her to fuck off. (Possible result: Instantly expelled from school! Way to assert your authority, son!)
Last night I was angry about someone who I didn't know who talked to me. I thought he was a nerd and his attitude seemed just a little bit condescending. I was livid with rage for five hours at least! I focused my unfounded hatred on this fellow like nothing before! All that he asked me was the grade I received for the assessment items in the unit, and what grade I was in. My end plan: to beat the fucking shit out of this insolent boy! I'll teach him to make conversation with me! Hah! (Unreasonable? I think so)
Today I made as if I was going to hit my brother, something I would never usually do, because I suspected he had been listening into my phone conversation and prank called afterwards to spite me (I can't figure out who pranked, it was probably just one of his friends, but it fucking set me off). I started acting all weird. When I became less psychotic I gave him a sweater in guilt and then took it back, then I thought I was going insane and had totally fucked up my life and the whole world. I guess I am sort of back to normal now that I can look at it retrospectively and analytically.
Marijuana withdrawal sux! I never wanted to be suspicious and hateful of people! All I ever wanted was to be smashed out of my mind so I could have some happy holidays at home.
In withdrawing from it I have misinterpreted people and blown situations totally out of proportion, and have had worse fits of anger than ever. Now I can only think how lucky I am to have avoided situations where I could have focused my weed-induced hatred on someone and left them with a scarring memory.
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