Review Erowid at
Help us be a "Top Rated Nonprofit" again this year and spread
honest info (good or bad) about psychedelics & other psychoactive drugs.
("Share Your Story" link. Needs quick login creation but no verification of contact info)
Things Will Get Better, I Hope
Citation:   steve. "Things Will Get Better, I Hope: An Experience with Heroin (exp25559)". Oct 10, 2018.

  repeated insufflated Heroin
    repeated IV Heroin

What is there to say about drugs? I'm 18 and have been using drugs in massive quantities since I was 11. Up until a year and a half ago, I had ventured down every road, from pot to coke, to speed to pills, to shrooms and of course alcohol. But nothing could prepare me for my first time experiencing heroin.

I was, at the time, an excessive user of cocaine, I snorted it, mainlined it, and even smoked rock every so often. So this one day my old using crowd and I decided to go and score as much coke as we could afford. When we reached our destination, we were informed that there wasn't much yay available. I decided to buy as much heroin as I could, although I had not tried it yet, fuck it, I knew from the moment I tasted it that I would love it, proving that this was a worthwhile thing.

I started out snorting it, using a few bags a day, for about 7 months. I absolutely loved the way it made me feel. But around Christmas time, I stole a few needles from my diabetic grandfather, and that was my first mainline of dope. I immediately knew that I was onto something. I shot up 6 bags that night, then proceeding to go out the next day and spend all of my money on dope. I now had no money for my family for holidays, so I stole gifts for them, cheap ones as they were too.

Well, it's now July 24, 2003. I've been clean for 19 days. I recently got out of rehab, and I have nothing. Those past 7 months were a blur. I got arrested on New Years, got bailed by my mother, next day I stole money from her to buy a fix. I sold all of my stuff for as much as I could squeeze out of the tired pawn shop employees. My face was not a welcome thing around my town. I spent alot of time in one long nod. I would literally do up to 10 bags a day, not caring if I overdosed. Fuck, I wanted to, because I knew I could not stop by myself.

I'm also going to NA meetings a few times a week. Thats helping me stay sober for the time being. But let me be honest, I'm only 18, so I take things for granted. I can not promise anybody that I won't use again. Shit, I am aching for some money and down time to shove off to the city to get that sweet fucking dope. I would love to stay clean, but I know that I may not. And if I relapse, I will lose my family again, but for good. They've all had enough of my antics. I've been abusing drugs and alcohol since I was 11. 7 years of addictions. One right after the other. But who knows? I may never live to say that I survived a second recovery, I'm barely alive now with my first recovery.

But things will get better, I hope.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 25559
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Oct 10, 2018Views: 1,549
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Heroin (27) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults