Modern humans must learn how to relate to psychoactives
responsibly, treating them with respect and awareness,
working to minimize harms and maximize benefits, and
integrating use into a healthy, enjoyable, and productive life.
Hiding from the Truth
MDMA (Ectasy)
by John Doe
Citation:   John Doe. "Hiding from the Truth: An Experience with MDMA (Ectasy) (exp25499)". Erowid.org. Jul 25, 2003. erowid.org/exp/25499

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 tablet oral MDMA
  T+ 5:30 1 tablet oral MDMA
  T+ 9:30 1 tablet oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 123 lb


The night began with me dropping off my semi-girlfriend (We had just begun dating this night...after we discussed after sex. Been having sex for few weeks.) I came home and dropped a single roll I had just picked up earlier in the day. Decided I'd have a nice night rolling just with my friends. I would be the only one intoxicated on MDMA. As the roll began to hit me and my friend went and picked up a jug of water and I went to my friends house to listen to music and have them blow me up. Around 12-12:30 I get a phone call. It is my friend and he is telling me the girl I had dropped off, for the sake of the story we will name her 'mary', has just tried to overdose on medication and the ambulance is on its way now. At first I am thinking it must be a joke...I explicitly tell him of my intoxication and make sure he knows that joking about this will be very detrimental. He promises he is not joking...which turns out to be very true.

I wait probably 30minutes and then begin to feel very bad. I start thinking if she has died...I immediately rush home where my informer has just arrived. He tells me the story...and makes a comment that seems to implicate me for the cause of her suicide attempt. (he later on denies that was his purpose, but my sober friend also agrees it seemed quite inappropriate.) After he leaves I really start to feel bad. I can defintely tell I am going on a bad one. I tell my friend I have to find her and see her at the hospital. After hopping from hospital to hospital I finally find her. Rolling balls I talk to her and her aunt. She is ok, but I still am worried. A police officer then escorts me and my friend out of the hospital (only one visitor in ER). I get home and feel very bad. I tell my friend I am going to bed and he leaves. I sense a overwhelming feeling of anxiety over the situation and decide to drop another roll. I do so around 2:30. Then I proceed to roll in my room alone feeling good and talk on the phone till around 6am.

Once I am alone again (off the phone)...the feelings come back and the roll seems to be diminishing. I drop another roll at 6:30am. Chewing it fully. My stomach begins to hurt so I eat a leftover taco from earlier in the night. An important factor that must be noted is the amount of water I am drinking. Later on I feel like it was way too much. Probably around a Jug and a half of water. Not positive of the measurements. Well around 12pm I have to go and pick up my father from the airport. I do so still rolling it seems. (eyes dilated very much). After coming home I still feel very off. My eyes are still very dilated. I become very anxious and nervous about things and very irritated. I finally fall asleep at 11pm. I wake at around 10am feeling very bad. I can barely walk...I feel dizzy...and nauseous. I've never felt this bad after rolling...but I've never taken more than one roll before so I see this as a possibility. Throughout the day I could not stop shaking.

I thought of how it must be my fault for 'marys' incident, the whole situation began to hit me like a ton of bricks. Dealing with the situation with a brain full of seratonin may have been easier, especially if I had'nt taken so much extra doses. And then I start thinking that my hangover symptoms are those of hyponatremia, I am borderline hypocondriac by the way. Throughout the day I am feeling depressed, anxious, scared. I get cold sweats, break out in fever, feel dizzy. Then came the night. Thats when the anxiety became nearly unbearable. I finally was talked down by 'marys' cousin. And got to sleep around 2:30am. Woke up at about 12pm with a serious headache but feeling much better. My eyes still hurt a little but nothing serious. The anxiety is mostly gone and so is the depression, but I still feel a tad off, probably due to such a lack in seratonin and damage to transmitors.

I've definitely learned a valuable lesson...never try to hide from a bad trip through the use of more medication. I ended up experiencing a much worse thing the day after, than what I would have experience if I had solely taken the single pill. Use mdma responsibly and with friends who will give you the right advice and be able to understand your feelings. One pill should be enough, if not than maybe you shouldn't be taking mdma anymore :(. I hope people can learn from this and understand that the answer isnt to run away from your problems, cause no matter what you will face them sooner or later, and the sooner the better, a true lesson to be learned in all aspects of life.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 25499
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 25, 2003Views: 26,842
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
MDMA (3) : Hangover / Days After (46), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults