Citation: The X cops. "Lucky to Be Alive: An Experience with Mushrooms & Ketamine (exp25450)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2005. erowid.org/exp/25450
Its about 5:30 and I'm getting the house ready for my mush, I cant fucking believe it my tv broke and my stereo hardly works. I cleaned and vaccumed the basement and I got everything ready to make tea, I think I'll make tea with my shake (about 2-3) and eat the rest (about 5-6). Ashley should be over right away so I知 gunna go, I値l probably come back during the trip and try and make some notes.
It's the next morning now. things went horribly bad, I think. I cant even write about it because nothing makes sense. I remember things getting wierd after the K, I never went into the hole (so I remember) but Brad and Ashley.... fuck! I've never been so confused. It all started about 5-6 minutes after I did the K, first the light on my celing went all oily and looked like it was melting but everyone else saw it too. We got kinda scared so I got up and touched it and it went back to normal, then I looked at the ground and Brad's keys were melting into the floor. I thought this was just me seeing this but when I pointed it out everyone was like 'HOLY SHIT!' Thats when time started freezing, it would freeze and we would all just stop and look at each other. We all went up stairs where things continued to intensify. Time was winding down backwards and it seemed as if we were in a time loop. I started getting really panicky and everything started going black. At this point I thought I was dead and everything was revolving around me, it was like the universe was waiting for that single moment to come and fuck with me. I cant really remember the details but I was in my house with Brad and Ashley but we werent who we were anymore, it was like we had gone beyond our human form. Things kept repeating themselves and we started to grow distressed.
We were ALL in a time loop and things were getting scarier and scarier (I dont even know if this really happened). We kept reasuring each other but we werent who we were. Ashley started freaking out and said there was something on her leg, she ran into the kitchen and pulled up her pant leg. I couldnt see what was wrong with her but her eyes were starting to really scare me. It was like existence had melted away and we were trapped in here doomed to repeat these scenes over and over again for eternity. The same horrifying scene of me dying kept repeating itself and I ended up in my room screaming at the top of my lungs that I didnt want to die. I needed to leave my house for some reason, I think this is where I started to realize that I had gone to hell. The next thing I remember was walking down my street and things kept changing. At this point I thought I was dead. Next thing I know I知 at a park about 5-6 blocks away and there were like 6 kids there, I sorta went up to them and they started making reference to my life. They asked me if I go to vic (which I do). Then I was in the parking lot to the mall (like 12 blocks away) and the universe was unwinding so to speak, I wasnt human at this point, my face was melting away and I knew I wasnt me anymore.
Things would change as my will would command and I began to realize that I had actually died. Everything I had ever known was melting backwards in a time loop. I would go from bliss to questioning to fear to hell to reassurance then back again. Nothing is clear right now and this is almost impossible to put into words. The next thing I remember I was in a street about a block away from the mall and I could see the top of it and these 2 flags that were never there before. Things were slowing down and werent as chaotic as before but a native man wearing a wrestling shirt came up to me and started asking me questions, he was talking backwards but I understood him. He seemed to know who I was and where I came from, he asked me what I had taken and kinda tried to joke with me but I didnt respond. I layed back on the grass and looked to the stars, everything kept going from black to light, but I knew it was heaven/hell. The trees around me would shrivel and die then they would grow back greener than before. Then three people came out of the house next to me and motioned for me to go over to them. There were 2 men (one was the native man, but he was white now and in different clothes) and and older lady. The men asked me if I knew the lady and I stood and looked at her, she was smiling and I thought she was an angel (or god).
I knew I was dead (actually dead, not just a NDE from the K) and I knew that there is no traditional hell so to speak, just a never ending time loop to torment me for eternity. One of the men started whispering to the other while I was looking at the lady and I knew everything they were saying and going to say, I could have finished their sentences but I just kept quiet for the time being. The whole trip was guided by something and I knew everything that was going to be said or happen. The 2 men talked for a while and then the one told the other to take me home. He started walking towards his minivan and motioned me to follow. I got in and he started asking me questions. He said 'so what have u been doing tonight? acid? mushrooms?' I answered 'have u ever heard of ketamine?' he said 'no, what is it? a powder? what?' I said nevermind and asked him for a cigarette (he was smoking) he said 'I actually dont have mine on me but u can have this one' and he handed me his. He kept saying that the police were out tonight and they are assholes, and he wanted me to get home safe, he had a big nose and kinda reminded me of my dad. He told me a story about how some kid made ecstasy to get rich and poison everyone else and he was a very good speaker.
On the way back to my house the streets were different than they were when I was going towards the mall, all the sidewalks were ripped out and there were road blocks everywhere. There was a big pile of dirt and a backhoe on a corner that I DID walk on earlier. I directed the man to my house and he dropped me of in front of it. I went up to the door not knowing what to expect was inside and I went in. as soon as I came in Brad and Ashley came upstairs and they were like oh my god where the hell did u go we almost called the cops!!! I came in and sat down at my pc and just put my head in my hands. They told me what happened by their account but it didnt add up, it seemed like they were almost making it up. Also it was only 1 in the morning, I should have been fucked off the mushrooms still but I was quite sober and so were they.... At this point I知 still not sure if I知 dead or not, or if any of this actually happened. Also my toe has a big gash on it and my arms are scraped up quite badly and I dont remember how. My jeans were covered in sand and dirt and I was in my socks the whole time.
This was by far the wierdest thing thats ever happened to me. Who the fuck were those people and how the fuck did they know what to do with me???? were they even there????? and if not how the fuck did I get home... HOW THE FUCK DID I EVEN GET TO THE MALL????? Everything is still so un-answered, when Brad and Ashley wake up I have a shitload of questions to ask, I want to go back to the mall too. This makes no sense am I dead? I need to go back to the mall and that street and find out what the fuck happened to me. One things for fucking sure I wont be touching K again. I remember a story my sister told me of one of her friends. He was on acid and he saw hell, this scared him so much he went straight edge and became a christian. I知 not gunna go straight edge or become christian, I just know what he saw now.
Notes- After tonight dissociatives have lost all apeal for me, that was way too scary to ever do anything like that again. I honestly thought I was dead and gone to hell, doomed to repeat the terrible night over and over again for all eternity. This was the first bad trip I've ever had and all I want to do is forget about it. Oh I went back to the mall today and everything was the same as it was last night. Brad and Ashley make more sense today and we talked over the whole trip, I pieced together everything and realized that I知 not dead and it was just the K. I still cant figure out who those people were and why they helped me.
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