Mushrooms (P. Cubensis)
Citation: VoodooChild. "God's Eye: An Experience with Mushrooms (P. Cubensis) (exp25306)". Erowid.org. Dec 17, 2004. erowid.org/exp/25306
Let me start by offering some background information as per my integrity and situation at the time of this experience. It may seem redundant now, but i assure you, it is necessary. How a drug, especially the sacred mushroom, affects a person depends largely on the character, personality, and psyche of that person. So, lezgetonwiddit.
It was the winter of my freshman year as a premedical student. I was recovering from a complicated surgical procedure to repair damage done by a ruptured appendix. (heres a tip...if you have intense stomach cramps and pain for 4 days, stop being a hardass and go to the doctors...its not worth it.) Anyway, I was in a rough place at the time, physically and psychologically. I was attending school virtually against my will, being forced upon a career path that was more pleasing to my parents then to myself. Hell...I didnt want to be a doctor. I wanted....and here comes the universal teenage cliche....to be....a rock star. Childish and irresponsible as it may seem, all I've ever wanted to do was to tour the world, playing under stage lights night after beautiful night. That's my jam.
However, at the time of this experience, I was in a frustrating prison of unnessecary calculus courses and the pressure to secure 'valuable connections' and so forth. Whatever though...I'll save the emotional rant for another time. This is the story of how my first experience with mushrooms instilled a newfound faith in myself, and brought me in touch with the person that I am.
It was a typical winter night on campus. My friend had been offering elaborate tales of the wonders of shrooms for the past couple of months, and that night, came bearing gifts. We had been smoking buddies since the beginning of the school year, and when he came to my room for what I thought was to be the 'take bong rips and jam' portion of the evening, he had an indescribable cleverness to his smile. 'Hey man,' he said. 'Its about time we tripped. The mushrooms are calling to you, kid. You need this.' I knew his advice was solid...so i took it. I gave it some thought, agreed, and threw on some Hendrix while we munched an eighth ounce each of shrooms.
A blunt, a cigarette, a bottle of water, and a handful of doritos later, we were ready to roll. It was almost like something inside of me was telling me to ride out...like I had a place I needed to be. For the evening at least, I had a destiny. I threw on a jacket and we began to meander around campus, stopping to chat with friends we met, enjoying the picturesque scenery of our snowy surroundings. The stars began to glisten in a surreal way, the earth, seemingly solid only hours before, now breathed with an inner energy now finally revealed. By now, I was all over the place. Everything i saw amazed me. Extensive, giggly, warp speed conversations would ensue following the most inconsequential event. We babbled for close to a half hour about whether or not this inflatable decorative snowman we saw was following us.
Through all the fun I found myself having, I knew that the most profound affect of the mushrooms was yet to come. After the laughter filled body buzzin first 2 hours, I began to mellow out, and search the deeper meaning of what this drug had to offer. For about a half hour, my friend and I wandered in near silence, each enjoying the effects of his own trip. With creepy timing, the moon broke through the clouds at the same time we stepped into a clearing in the trees...and illuminated the fact that we were standing in a graveyard. Now, you'd think this would cause me to flip, especially considering my altered state. However, as I wandered the headstones, reading ephitaphs, I began to feel welcomed. Connected, if you will...to every soul, every life once lived, represented now only by simple stone memorials and decaying bones. I was not scared...I felt at peace.
Then I looked up.
Now, a lot of the things you see while shrooming cant really be taken seriously. I had a friend swear he discussed Nietszche with Spongebob Squarepants while tripping. Just earlier, we found ourselves fleeing the wrath of an inflatable snowman. But what I saw in the sky that night was real...it was verified the next day by sober minded friends who saw it too.
The brilliant, full moon occupied the center of the sky, while the thin, gray clouds swirled and formed a halo, a perfect circle around the mooon. This was later verified as an actual meteorological anomaly, but man, I have never seen precision like that in a cloud. As this 'halo' stared down on me, I subconciously extended my hand in greeting to it. As I stood there, I realized...
This was God's eye.
The swirling clouds became the iris...the moon, a pupil. A hole in the sky, in reality....a window into heaven. Immediately I was brought to tears by this beautiful sight and the sense of tranquility and security it brought. I felt safe, watched over. A million thoughts flooded my head at that moment. I had been raised a christian, but lost touch with the faith in my adolescence. Althought this experience didn't exactly renew my christian faith, it renewed my faith. There was someone watching over me that night, and the message that eye sent to me was thus...'Follow your path. Go the direction you choose. I will be there, and I will guide and protect you.'
I looked to my friend
'Holy shit dude....I'm gonna be a rock star.'
That night I didnt sleep at all. I spent the next day of classes sketching 'the eye' in the margins of my notebooks and writing song lyrics with a newfound inspiration. I transcribed the image I saw that night into the next tattoo i recieved, and I'm now constantly reminded of the night I found my true self. I'm still in school, but really only to secure a degree in case the harsh world of the music buisiness rejects my overzealous ass. I'm playing shows wherever i can, making connections, taking names, and jamming loud and proud. The mushroom opened a window and started a fire. 'Im burnin now, catchin green, singin mean. Aint noone gonna stop me, im livin my dream.'
One Love, kids. Search the plants to find yourselves.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.