Citation: Zon. "I Don't Want to Die at Sixteen: An Experience with Cocaine (exp25197)". Erowid.org. Jul 12, 2003. erowid.org/exp/25197
||(powder / crystals)
Like most teenagers, ive always thought i was invincible. I was always a trouble maker and liked to experiment with drugs and alcohol. My dad is a herion addict so until i was 15 i was extremely against coke and herion. The first time i blew coke was the day before my 16th birthday. I liked the feeling but hated the drip and i felt sick, but i still wanted to do it just for the feeling after you blow your first line of the night.
After that day i did in again a few weeks later. One day around Christmas me and 3 of my 16 year old girl friends decided we wanted to get some. We bought 2.5 grams, which is a lot if you havent done it a lot. We stayed up for about 7 hours blowing lines every 10-30 minutes. My best friend didnt want to do it but we somehow convinced her to take a 'nummie (when you put some in your mouth) and then she joined us in blowing it. We had fun that night, except of course..we couldnt sleep. We blew our last line around 6 am and I was supposed to go to work at 11 in the morning. We tossed and turned for hours and finally decided we were never gonna fall asleep.
I was miserable...me and one of my friends found that we had a little left and of course blew it. We both almost threw up. At this point i decided i didnt give a fuck about anything except coke. I refused to go to school, didnt show up at my job for a week until i got fired, broke up with my boyfriend of about 8 months who id loved to death and wanted to sit in my room everyday. Nothing mattered to me except for coke. I blew it a few more times before i wanted to kill myself over it. I ended up in the hospital cause i thought i was going to die and after that i didnt touch it for about a month...
Now its July 11, 2003... Since that day in December ive snorted cocaine hundreds of times. Ive stopped for a week sometimes, but i always go back. So except for a few rare occasions, i do it about 2-4x a week. Sometimes 20 bags, sometimes g's...whatever i can afford and with whoever will get it for me. Within about 3 hours tonite me, my boyfriend (the one i broke up with back in december), and my best friend (the one who didnt want to do it) blew 2 grams. Thats $100 up our noses.
Im so sick of this shit. I know theres lots of kids and adults who are in my shoes. For anyone who's never done it, i wouldnt recommend trying it. Its very addicting, especially if someone in your family is a drug addict. I never thought id get addicted, but i know i am. Ive decided im going to start going to N.A. meetings because i cant take it anymore. Its such an important thing in my life, i cant even count how many hundreds of dollars ive spent on it, nevermind the countless times ive had guys or friends buy it. Its not worth it. Im only 16!! I still have time to change my life. I love my father to death but i dont want to end up like him, still using at 48 years old. I dont want to ruin my entire life.
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