Citation: LJ. "Brain Blender: An Experience with Morning Glory, Cannabis & Tea (exp25029)". Erowid.org. Dec 1, 2007. erowid.org/exp/25029
Some authors report suspicions that their cannabis has been 'laced' (adulterated), in some cases, presumably with PCP. While this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in the report below was adulterated or not. Reports of plant material and cannabis laced with powerful synthetic cannabinoids and other psychoactive substances became more common starting in 2007.]
The body: 18 years old, male, 5'5' over 200 pounds, relatively little experience in recreational drug using (pot and hash).
The setting: a small gathering with two other people at my house. One other was to share the seed experience with me, and we were to do our first experimentation with green tea, to which I had heard strange things attributed.
The dosage: 200 whole Heavenly Blue seeds were mixed in a 2/3 solution of water and laundry detergent in a 2 litre soda bottle, and shook/let soak for approximately 5-10 minutes. With much hassle, the seeds were dried, wrapped loosely in tin foil and crushed with hammer blows on a carving board. Eventually, myself and J split the seed mass, mixed in with a yoghurt of our choice and with a heaped teaspoon of powdered ginger to aid potential nausea. Orange juice, a known potentiator of the psychadelia, was enjoyed by all.
After eating the seed mix, myself, J and J2 headed upstairs to sample the rest of our lineup. This was a marijuana known as 'Purple Haze' - that is, to the best of the author's knowledge, 'dipped' with either acid (LSD) or dust (PCP) in order to increase potency of effects. Up to 5 bowls were unevenly shared between the 3 participants, with J2, the more tolerant user, often taking double hits.
Next, a large number of bowls of green tea were packed and smoked. J2 accesses that he had 'at least 20' by himself.
The effects: (As far as I was concerned)
After eating the seed mix, I noticed some slight stomach discomfort. I hoped to ease this with a few hits from the bong, but as the effects came on in full effect, I began dry heaving into the bottom of a steel wastepaper bin placed there for the occasion.
These full effects were the most 'psychedelic' experience I had ever experienced. With the help of J2, I will attempt to recount exactly what was going through my head:
When I was dry heaving with full force into the bin, I felt much apathy with the situation. I didn't care what was going on or what could or would happen to 'me'. It was, in fact, like watching a movie from behind my eyes. The sound of retching was like kind of ultra-surround sound being played through a filmed moving tunnel from the inside. The 'shoulder massaging' effects of the marijuana coincided with the feeling that my back was in contact with something level. I sat bolt upright, in full 'knowledge' that I was in fact leaning back against a shelf of drawers behind me. I eventually realised the truth of the matter, to my surprise.
The most hilarious effect for my company occurred next. I realised, with quite sincere surprise, that my arms were gyrating in parallel as if of their own separate will. I was quite literally incapable of affecting this motion. Lighting the bong was made very difficult :-). My head moving was next, from side to side. I had a hallucination that it was part of a mechanical contraption, very divorced from my own control. A series of 'imagined' visions, all processing at speed, continued for the next few hours.
I had the feeling that my brain was being sliced width-wise by some large thin blade that had somehow invaded my skull. The effect was as if my brain has been placed in a blender in slow motion (but still fast to me). I was hysterical that my 'brain was being scrambled', and jumped from one corner of the room to the next, holding my head and screaming my words with nervous energy and hilarity. At points, my words slowed down to a low machine voice, and resounded with an explosive trill. Much like my body movement, my voice was becoming divorced from my normal sense of control.
I lay down on the bed, curled with a pillow, feeling the want or need to get up and move around, occasionally throwing myself back down with my hands around my head as my brains were 'scrambled'.
As to how I 'felt', I quickly understood the meaning of LSD users and such, when they describe how 'words lose all meaning' in describing their feelings. In attempt, I would say that I had the basic well marijuana-stoned feeling, plus a sense of, for lack of a better word, 'insanity'. I still had my identity, and references, and knew what was safe and what wasn't - but when you watch the movie of your own life filmed through the screen of your own eyes, it loses its sense of 'attachment'. I didn't really care what happened to the ego in the movie (me). I have had held the view that datura would put 'me' into hell, but seen through the context of this experience, I have lost some of my fear and instant repugnation of a substance I may eventually end up trying in one form or another - which means any substance, really. In layman's terms, this experience was an eye-opener.
For the next several hours, I proceeded to talk garbage, flail druggedly, and imagine very detailed hallucinations. I was clumsy and starving, and when I ate could not reliably tell what was being chewed, be it cookie or cookie-tasting chewable brick.
We watched the movie 'Happiness', billed as a dark comedy. It was the darkest comedy I had ever seen, and seen in retrospect, seemed to highlight some basic facet of human nature. Humans are naturally 'evil' enough (for lack of a better word), to be able to access with hilarity the portrayal and consequences of pederastic rape, forcible rape and sexual humiliation. I was shocked when the father yelled to his hospital bed-bound son 'you've been fucking raped!', yet could see the rapist's attempts to knock out the boy with rohypnol (and plan and execute the rape of another boy mentioned by his own son), as 'funny', as did everyone else there.
I saw no 'patterns'. But what I felt, thought and said was 'weirder' than any visual distortion I could have imagined.
I had two major insights using these drugs that I can now share with all of you:
The first is concerned with 'meaning'. 'Art' (ie, music and film) is based on 'meaning'. What these drugs did for me was to take away my attachment to 'meaning'. I only 'felt', that is, experienced, because 'meaning' is an intellectual construct. What I realised was that 'meaning' and 'feeling' are two very different, maybe even opposite things. J2 supports this in heart and hopes in our lives to bring the two things - meaning and feeling - closer to each other as part of what we give to the world in the years to come (we are artist/musician bohemian types in heart and in head).
The second insight I had is short and sweet: that experience is precious. Every experience is unique, and that is what makes all of our experiences precious to us. Whether we accept this is another matter.
As I write this, I am still stoned on marijuana (and possibly green tea) and coming almost completely down from the morning glory seeds. I am still very high, feeling much clumsiness, lethargy (which may be a symptom of the LSA come-down), and itchiness (maybe even verging on paregoria).
Postscript, by J2:
As an experienced user of various substances, my main objective was to attempt the green tea high, which had been described to me in broad strokes by LJ, second-hand information from something he had read on the internet. I was, as I often am with such stories, somewhat skeptical. I was to be surprised.
After a few hits of the haze, I loaded up some tea. The first few hits went by quickly with the initial blurriness common to all psychedelics. As I loaded up two more bowlfulls the distinct effect of the tea (as opposed to just another mild smoked psychedelic) became apparent (as did some retching across the room). As hit after hit were absorbed (some of which were shared with LJ, whose behaviour was becoming increasingly erratic in a way which was far too amusing to J and I) I was taken in feeling to a desert island where sea was all around and I had no concept of land beneath me. I was still aware and responsive to my surroundings, but I had a strong felt connection to this alternative reality.
After several more hits had been exhausted (and we had assessed that LJ was probably still alive) we moved to a room far less filled with smoke, and the rest of my 'trip' was spent on a conversation with my guitar, as I have done many a time before with other substances. We discussed a wide range of topics, from sex to ultimate pain, with my guitar filling me in on the most objective of perspectives. As these thoughts which were surging through my mind and my fingers began to subside, apart from my sudden urge to get pizza (LJ was too far gone to remember he was going to wait a couple of hours before ordering) there is little else to report, as my high gently waned away, with little of a 'come-down' to report.
As I reflect on the events of today, the best summarisation comes from a comment I gave LJ as I first passed a tea load to him. He was commenting on the pot, and I simply stated 'try this, you'll never do pot again'. At £1.30 for almost four and a half ounces of green tea, which can easily be purchased at any supermarket, I doubt very much he will. Try tea, you may very well be surprised.
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