Citation: Wordsearch. "I Blew It: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp24808)". Erowid.org. Mar 23, 2006. erowid.org/exp/24808
Well, I will make my history a long story short. Suprisingly enough, I didn't start off on cigarettes or marijuana... or alcohol. It was Adderall. I .. took it as prescribed at the age of 13. Every morning, First Class, instead of being sleeply, disinterested, I gave my teacher my undivided attention. I received a 97 A in that class, too.
Knowledge is dangerous. Being a early bird, for once I wanted to stay up all night with my friends. I'd always be the 'wussy who went to bed early to get up at 8 am.' I wanted to show them up so bad. They didnt know what Adderall was but I said 'These three pills will beat you all.' So I took the 3 pills, each 20mg, and went to bed, with everyone laughing in my face. I thought it was unreal. Until 1 hour later. I woke up (VERY UP) to my suprise with them all sleeping. I was up all night, as I wanted! I woke them up and said 'wanna sneak out? wanna stay up? wanna play music?' I got the 'why not?' from them, and as we all know people who are swimming in sleep just go straight back to sleep. But me, I was up until 9 am. From that night on, my life would never be the same.
It's been three years since that night. My parents eventually noticed and took it away just a year ago. All that year, I thought... what now? What's going to help me be that A+ Student? How will I have fun every night, happy? Well, I found ways. My best friend is prescribed, so usually when he comes to crash at my place, he gives me some. But now... I am a C Student in my sophomore year. I blew it, I made a huge mistake. I told my parents just that... and I was able to score a meager fix of Concerta (methylphenidate) and I take it for school, and it helps. But not as much as adderall. Time-Released makes me depressed after a mere 20 minute high.
All I can say is that... Whenever someone goes out of their way to give me Adderall in the morning, I take it. Lasts all day. It makes me so much happier (Abuse of amphetamines from before gave me an Amphetamine-Induced Clincal Depression) and usually when I have a conflict I use horrible coping mechanisms, such as cutting, and drinking, yelling... But when I'm on Adderall I just fly over it. Quote my journal entry from a day while being high 'I have a 'problem' today. I failed my exams. But I'm just too busy to think about it, I just fly over the problem. And it never visits me again.'
Boy, with that great thinking, all my problems came back and bit me in the ass. It's funny. When I'm not an adderall, or I'm coming down, I think... 'I'm quitting this shit. I hate this feeling!' However when someone offers it to me, I take it. I know I'll always be addicted to amphetamines. No other drug can compete, I'd ditch em all for a night on Adderall.
No doubt it helps a school career. I'm sure people don't want to go down my path, and I sure don't want them to either.
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