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Love, Love, Love!
Syrian Rue & Mushrooms - P. tampanensis & P. cyanescens)
by Mriko
Citation:   Mriko. "Love, Love, Love!: An Experience with Syrian Rue & Mushrooms - P. tampanensis & P. cyanescens) (exp244)". Erowid.org. Oct 5, 2000. erowid.org/exp/244

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
2.5 g oral Harmala Alkaloids (seeds)
  T+ 0:22 4.0 g oral Mushrooms (dried)
  T+ 0:00 1.0 g oral Mushrooms (dried)
  T+ 0:00 0.75 g oral Mushrooms - P. cyanescens (dried)

BODY WEIGHT: 60 kg


Psilocybe Tampanensis (Philosophers' Stones) (4 gr. + 1 gr.), Psi. cyanescens (1 gr.), Peganum harmala (2.5 gr.), Hash and Weed (a lot)

First I want to apologize, as I'm French and my English is not really perfect, I think you'll all understand what I've written anyway.

I prepared a decoction of 2.5g of Peganum harmala seeds by extracting them twice according to OTT method. The resulting beverage was drunk at 20:30, after that I smoked a little joint of Nepalese Temple Ball.

Very light dizzyness was felt about 5 minutes later but not disturbing, feeling quiet cool. A gentle warmth was now spreading through my body.

At 20:52, the effects were now stronger, so I ate 4 gr. of Psilocybe tampanensis (dried, cut in little slices), they taste like nuts, a little acidic. I took the Mushrooms' fragments left after I cut them, and smoke them in a pipe with some Kashmir Hashish. Immediatly after the pipe I lighted a Malana Cream joint. The pipe had its little effect, light colored trails were appearing following my hand . Colors are starting to change, some kind of electric (I was reading a magazine about nature at this moment, with nice, colorfull photos). It's now 21:00.

21:06 : It's beginning to push stronger now.

21:08 : It's coming realy stronger, I lay down on my bed..

21:20 : Very strong rushes have been coming since 5 minutes, feel very good. Light nausea and a few abdominal cramps when I move (It won't last).

21:30 : rushes are stronger and stronger, and suddenly something like a click happened. Rushes are still here and strong, but they're not the same anymore, I feel a kind of clarity in my mind.

In front of me (I'm still laid back on my bed) there's a big picture of Bob Marley, his face is continualy changing in shape, size and colors, mosaics are runing all over the yellow walls. I'm listening Ummagumma by Pink Floyd (crazy music) and it's sure « stimulating » the trip.

22:00 : I light up a joint of very high quality indoor grown sativa, and it's sure helped. A higher level of rushes is now reached. Wow It's really strong, everything is flowing, breathing, changing colors and shapes, and I still feel very calm, mind clarity is astonishing, I'm laughing of the insights coming to me, they're totally different kind from those I had with LSD, It?s so clear here, not a hint of mental confusion. Everything seems so clear to me, I've never experienced such a clearmindedness with psychedelic, usually it was mental confusion for almost all the journey, very difficult to talk or to understand. Here it was not the case. That's it : Perfect clarity of mind, EXTRA CLEARMINDEDNESS !. The curtain has been put down and now I see ! I know ! I understand ! These mushrooms deserve their name, you can believe me, it's incredible. I was thinking about my heroin addiction, and the way it revealed itself to me made me understand finally that this is not life. Everything which seemed normal to me, what heroin had made looking normal, the mushroom blasted it away and I realised that NO, those things were not normal, I've been fooled by the dope for all this time. My mind was made up, I would never take heroin again. Now I'm gonna live and enjoy REAL LIFE !

22:30 : I lighted up a second sativa joint. The mushrooms effects came stronger again, colors are so beautifull ! closed eyes imagery is very complex, geometrical. I decided to eat the left gram of P. tampanensis.
At that time, two of my best friends arrived, they had arrange a rendez-vous with their dope dealer at my place (as usual). As they arrived I saw them in a very strange way, I saw them, without blindedness given by the heroin, as they really are, and WOW it was really disgusting. I saw them as dirty, lost, negative, (almost) mentally, (totally) spiritualy dead people. I was not thinking good things about them and I begun to feel very repulsive about them. But I told my self « Hey those are your friends whether they're dope addicts or not, you can?t think such things about them !.

Instead of it, I was feeling very euphoric, often laughing because of the derision of the things I saw or said.

Finally I asked them to leave because they were sending to much negative energy and I was afraid they would have spoil my journey. Anyway, They?re still good friends, even if they're still in the dope. But seeing them this way gave me more motivation to stop the dope. They proposed me some brown sugar, but I refused it in a totally natural way, « Non Merci ».

After they left around midnight, I shut down the light and laid back on my bed listening, with my walkman, some tribal music from Colombia.

Here it really started, the music brought out the effects of the mushrooms intensively, multicolors patterns where flowing everywhere, mosaïcs, spirals, Imagery was very intense and it would not change whether my eyes were closed or open, exactly the same and then it began, I felt an incredible power surrounding me, I was no more in my bedroom, I don't know were I was, but it was not my bedroom. I penetrated another dimension filled with love and peace. I started breathing « in rythm » with the music and after a few minutes I felt like one of my chakra in the adomen was WIDE OPEN. Regularly, around every 30 seconds, my abdomen was plunging at the level of this chakra, and at those times I was feeling incredible levels of energies penetrating me, this was pure positive energy, pure love. with the music blasting in my ears, I was feeling like at the end of each song I had passed another level of consciousness and knowledge, it was leading me further and further, I was feeling like I was in a passage or initiation ritual.

At the tapes ended I lighted on the light, I was wiped out but still very clear in my mind, no confusion at all.

I decided to take the Psylocibes cyanescens and did so.

Know that the light was on and the music off the visual aspect was more intense than before but I realized that I was no more alone, something was here, « It » was here. Love peace and compassion were surrounding me, they were almost palpable, it was incredible, I was in total bliss.. But this was so much love, so strong bliss that I exploded in tears of love and compassion. I cried and cried again but it was so gooooooood. Waves of love were submerging, spirits of peace and knowlege were floating around me wispering and stroking me. My face was covered by tears and from my nose was flowing huge quantities of sea-water tasting (not like tears, really like sea-water) nasal mucus, it was flowing so much that I took a trash and kept my nose over it, mucus flowing and flowing again, I was unvoluntary breathing in a very strange, way very very deeply and noisy (I've never breathed like this, or maybe at the moment of my birth, but I don't « remember »), and noisy (1) . It was the power of the music (I've been listening to colombian music on my stereo for the rest of the journey) along that of the mushroom, I was undulating and breathing in rythm with « something » in the music, another kind of rythm but inaudible. I told my self that I was undergoing an healing session. And then I remembered that P. Tampanensis were attibuted some healing properties (but it was not specified wich one), and during the first 3 hours I get to pee a lot of times (and still after), like I was purging my self, and then now, my nose was flowing again and again as it was purging and then it Hit me BAM !, that's it !

It's for dope ! ? It cures from dope ! ? IT CURES FROM DOPE ADDICTION ! ! ! ! ! !

and BAAAAAAAAAAAAAM It hit me again, but really much much stronger, more love, more peace and compassion, more bliss it was stronger and stronger. And I was crying stronger and stronger, but it was still so goooood. I remember me telling it several times « haaaa It's so gooood ». I felt like I would have been rolling in the « hand of God », I felt « Him » gently remodelling me, I was crying of love for my friends, thinking to those, addicted to heroin, and I found something which cures it! I wanted to give them some, to go back to the seller buy other mushrooms and give them to my friends. Levels of energy flooding in me were still stronger and stronger, I was progressively going through newer and higher states of consciousness and knowledge and then « It » talked to me (no words or sounds in my head but much like an insight, although it was a very different kind of insight compared to those I've had this night or other times) and It made me realise that I'm able of really more than I thought, that I know really much more than I thought (in entheogenic plants and their use), that I have to go on learning again and again about it, that I could help people with it. I felt that this presence was very gentle and only want good things to me, It made me understand that I was not the same anymore, I died and was reborn.

My life had took a new way

This lasted about 4 hours, around 4h o'clock in the morning I felt the effect of P. Tampanensis were going away, and I was more feeling the effects of the Hawaian mushroom. Strong on the body, big burst of very strong energy were coming up from my abdomen, I felt like somebody would have been crushing me in his hand (but no pain at all). I was sitting on my bed, moving, balancing like a cobra and moaning. It was pushing very strong, and I was not feeling so clearminded anymore (phil. St. Were really off). The rushes were hard on the body, but it was only rushes, no effects associated with it. Although those rushes, I felt that the journey was finished so I decided to go to sleep. At the very moment I closed my eyes, I was sleeping.

The day after, I woke up feeling very mind-cleared, although physically a hangover was present all the day and some again the other day after.

But the energy wich was surrounding me that night was still here, I felt it him me and I still feel it more than one month after. It's not overpowering uncontrolable energy. It's a cool and positive one which gives me a lot more self confidence than I used to have, I'm filled with hapiness.,life and love are flooding in me it's the pure positive energy of LIFE I'm blessed with, so niiiiice. Total harmony with LIFE

The day after the journey, a fried of mine came to see me, and he proposed me some heroin, I refused it. And I refused again, several other times since, with absolutely no hesitation and no regret. I was still feeling physical withdrawal symptoms, but mentally it was sure over, NO MORE HEROIN, EVER ! ! !(2)

Because of the physical symptoms which were still disturbing, I had to take some buprenorphine (very , very little doses), but this I wanted to stop it again. I went back to Dutchland 3 weeks after this journey and bought some other Phil. Stones. There I took half a dose (6-7 grams fresh) alone. It was still very cool, great mind clarity, but (sure) less stronger. Eye closed imagery was really beautifull (3) . But it was more a recreationnal trip as I wanted it to be, I spend most of the journey hitting the streets of the Red Light District. The day after, I didn't felt the need to take some buprenorphine and I didn't want to take some. The other days were the same, it was finally over. I needed no more buprenorphine. I was free of dope, finally.

I was trying to quit dope from the beginning of the year (5 months), but all my friends are in the dope, and it's very difficult to refuse dope when some body give you some. But i had the will to quit dope, I really wanted to stop, and « psilohuasca » gave me the necessary mentally strength to do so, but I'm almost sure that it acted on a biological level too, but which one?

More than one month is gone since I stopped dope, I just took one time a line of heroin with some cocaine (4) , just to see how I would react. I used to LOVE Speedball. I enjoyed the effect, but as soon as the coke was off, BWARF, awfull, I sure didn?t enjoy the heroin effect, really. So it?s cool, don?t need it anymore, don?t LIKE it anymore !

I decided to test Phil . Stones on one of my addicted friends to verify wether it really cures (mentally, and biologically as it blew out my physical symptoms of addiction in two trial) from dope addiction (5) . It?s not the case. Even if he took out positive things from his journey (2.5 grams Peg. Harmala + 4 gr. Phil. Stones), even if he realised that heroin is big shit and that he had to stop, he?s still on heroin. He has not the strength to stop, and HE DOESN'T WANT TO ! ! !

I've ever had a lot of respect for those substances, but now I have far more respect for them, really.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 244
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 5, 2000Views: 45,807
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Syrian Rue (45), Mushrooms - P. tampanensis (133), Mushrooms - P. cyanescens (67) : Alone (16), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27), Combinations (3)

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