Citation: Gnostikoi. "Unpleasant Experience: An Experience with AMT (exp24175)". Erowid.org. Jun 2, 2003. erowid.org/exp/24175
||(powder / crystals)
This weekend I had a pretty frightening experience with AMT. I had taken it once before, but only 20 mgs, which turned out to be a threshold experience for me. I had found it pleasant, but not remarkable, and I had put my bottle aside for the past six months or so. I had no plans this weekend, and my relatives were out of town so I knew they wouldn't be dropping by, and so I decided to try it again at a higher dose.
I'm only guessing at the dosage, because I actually weighed out 100 mgs, thought better of it, and put some back. I'm REALLY glad I did.
I took the dose at 1:30pm; I started feeling lightheaded by 2:00pm, at about 2:30pm I threw up violently about 15 times in a row with hardly a chance for a breath, and by 3:00pm I was definitely tripping. I knew that I was in for a much stronger experience than my first, and unfortunately I started to get a little nervous. I practiced deep breathing and tried to calm myself down. The sensation grew and grew, and I started to panic. After about an hour of increasing fear, I found a solution - I live in a forest, and I discovered that if I looked out the window at the blue skies and the wind through the trees, almost all of my nervousness disappeared.
The next two hours were actually very nice - I was tripping very hard, but a calm had come over me and I was in a good mood. I had a lot of bizarre thoughts and strange logic pop into my head, but I was still pretty rational and I recognized these thoughts for what they were practically as I was thinking them. I enjoyed this in contrast to LSD, where those thoughts can dominate my mind - I felt in control of the experience. In fact, I mostly sat and stared out the window and smiled to myself at the thoughts I was having. I also noticed the empathogenic qualities; I kept thinking about old friends, and arguments that I'd had with them, and suddenly I saw their sides and realized that I loved them, but instead of being sad because I hadn't seen them in years I felt happy and full of love; it was almost like they were there with me.
The really difficult part came next. The sensation of calmness increased, until it became more like disassociation. All of the sudden I was very, very tired, in spite of the stimulant effects such as muscle tremors, jaw clenching, etc., that I was experiencing. I found myself almost drifting off to sleep, and I had the frightening idea that something was not right - I hadn't read in any of the experience reports about sleepiness. At this point I was still in the middle of the peak, but I was struggling to stay awake. I didn't want to fall asleep because I was afraid that I'd overdosed and that I wouldn't wake up. This may or may not have been the case, but it was a convincing thought to me at the time, so I ended up feeling like I was fighting to stay alive.
I needed external stimulation, something to focus on, so I gave in and turned on the TV, to Saturday Night Live. That helped some, but I still found my eyes fluttering closed - it was difficult to maintain attention towards the TV because I couldn't understand most of what was happening. I ended up brewing some coffee and drinking it very slowly - I was wary of AMT's reported MAOI effects and how it would react with the caffeine. This helped quite a bit, although it made me feel pretty nauseous. I still was very tired, but I think that without the coffee I would have given in and fallen asleep.
I basically watched the TV for the rest of the trip, because the fatigue continued. The trip went on and on (and on), and I was pretty sick of fighting to stay awake. Finally, at about 12:00am, I judged that the worst of it was over and it was OK to fall asleep. Ironically, the reason that I felt this way was because I no longer felt the NEED to fall asleep, and I tossed and turned in bed until about 3:00am, with a horrible headache (very rare for me) to boot. At last I fell asleep, but I only slept for about 4 hours and woke up around 7:00am.
Overall, I found it to be a somewhat valuable experience, but not one that I want to repeat. Now that I'm sober I still have the feeling that I was in danger last night, that if I had let myself fall asleep I wouldn't have woken up. I know that 80 mgs is not that high of a dose, compared to some reports, but for me it was more than enough. [Erowid Note: 80 mgs of AMT is considered a heavy dose, see AMT Dose Chart
] I had a lot of unpleasant physical side effects including alternating sweat and shivering, muscle tremors that were accompanied by stiffness and aching, terrible jaw clenching (I can barely eat this morning because my jaw hurts so much), a bad headache, blurred vision followed by 'eye-wiggles' (which started when I drank the coffee - those also occur most times when I take MDMA), and pretty serious dehydration this morning in spite of the fact that I drank water CONSTANTLY throughout the trip - I kept a glass by me the entire time and sipped every 2-3 minutes for the entire 11 hours.
This morning I have one of the worst hangovers I've ever had. To me, AMT was one of those things that is obviously very toxic. I still have about 800 mgs of it, but I think that I'll probably give it someone or throw it away. The cost just wasn't worth the payoff for me.
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