Citation: R2D4. "Right Setting and Dosage: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp23769)". Erowid.org. May 15, 2003. erowid.org/exp/23769
||(powder / crystals)
When I did it, six of us, including our excellent host, created a circle around a blanket and a pillow. Very faintly, there was the recorded sound of Tibetan crystal bowls sounding over an exceptionally great sound system. Dim lights. We collectively set the intention to each experience the highest possible vibration of Love, whatever that turns out to be. I was first to go...
Our host loaded the glass pipe as I situated myself in the middle of the circle. I was instructed to practice laying back on the pillow so that I was in the exact right position to do so. Our host approached me with a small chemist's torch and handed me the pipe. The only sounds were the six of us breathing and the faint harmonic drone of the crystal bowls. And then, suddenly, the torch. I exhaled completely, and put the mouthpiece to my lips. I inhaled slowly and nervously as he hovered the blue flame a good inch above the diminutive yellow pile in the center of the bowl. The pile disintegrated as I pulled the heat of the flame in to the pipe... the substance sizzling into smoke. The smoke filled my lungs and he sharply switched off the torch. A strange silence remained as I held my breath... then a really, REALLY strange silence. I began to lie down. Before I hit the pillow, I sensed a rapidly increasing vibration in my body from the tips of my toes and fingers to the ends of the hairs on my head, deep in my bones and throughout my viscera (while I was still able, I imagined that this deeply penetrating euphoria is what it must feel like JUST AFTER one has been hit square-on by a locomotive, before the pain sets in); a deep and calming, yet terrifyingly inevitable disintegration of the physical. I closed my eyes.
I assume I exhaled what was left of the smoke and that I found my way into the supine position, because before I could gauge any further sense of movement or distance...
Colours entered my perception in impossible layers as the rate of dissintegration increased in exponential leaps. Any concept of 'time' or relative 'space' fractured into a quadrillion holographic pixels and was carried off along with the rest of manifest existence, in impossibly fast motion by another quadrillion overly-anxious, nano-sized, carnivorous ants. 'I' seemed to travel some immense distance in an instant, or more like a non-instant. My perception at once exploded and imploded infinitely. Matrix/lattice-like colour patterns gave birth in non-time to explosions of sparks which were galactic in the inward scope and scale. Simultaneously, these explosions recured, compounded, echoed, moving my consciousness inward and outward in unimaginable magnitude, 'eventually' into the yawning maw of Nothingness. All ability to fathom halted. All sense of 'I' became totally transparant, instantly g-o-n-e. No Self/Ego. Breathing, heartbeat, Earth life, past experience... never existed. Absorbed into the infinite, timeless, all permeating, Singularity; the sheer titanic bliss of the Void. This lasted forever. It was a Death, ummm... what can I possibly call 'It'?. It was a state? The anihilation of experience, actually. Infinite, unmanifest potential. Words do not really work, here...
The next 'thing' I remember, my first clue that my Mind was moving out of the infinite, is simply a very DISTANT sense of having had some kind of individuated experience... ...A sense that I was 'I' in some vague etheric conscious form, and that 'I' was experiencing, or had experienced... Something... something F-A-R beyond what I thought I could experience. No more visuals had come to my consciousness since the galactic sparks. I remember taking my first breath, which seemed literally like MY FIRST BREATH... EVER! And with that a sense of the dimension of time and space. An inconceivable amount of time had seemed to pass when I finally perceived this. My sense of 'identity' still a million lightyears away. My body began to reassemble itself slowly and quantumly over a series of miraculous breaths. Hardly able to believe what I had just 'experienced'; deeply deeply, moved and astonished beyond words (totally beyond words), I layed there and breathed. I sensed the powerful presence of my friends, those spirits sitting with me, around me, in a circle, breathing with me in support of a deeply personal communion with something inexplicable, untouchable, untaintable, far beyond any concept of ancient, and really quite as terrifying as it is beautiful (and it is beautiful beyond imagining). The Infinite.
Coming back into my body was akin to 'orgasmic' but different and subtler; more exquisite; more detectably sub-atomic. I felt compelled to move into a kneeling position. I looked with reverence at my friends in the Circle and wiped away a few tears that had apparently pooled there. Our host quietly informed me that eight minutes had passed. I was still feeling a bit high. I remained kneeling in silent meditation with the Circle for the next couple or few minutes. I then retreated to the edge, smiling and utterly grateful.
'Next?', I said.
I believe that I had experienced an aspect of Greater Mind. That we have the capacity within our own nervous systems to experience this because It is Who We Are. It's not so much about the 5-meo-dmt. Not really... But to the extent that it IS, it is DEFINITELY about the dosage and the setting. It is soooooo worth doing it right. Therein lies the Shamanic art of administering externally the Experience of the Internal (Eternal) Self.
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