Citation: Mong f00. "4000mg In Under A Month: An Experience with Diazepam (exp23674)". Erowid.org. May 6, 2004. erowid.org/exp/23674
My experience started with a visit from a friend who brought with him 200 pills of what he said were home made 10mg pills of diazepam, they were lighter blue than the pharmacutical ones and very crumbly and at the bottom of the bag they were in was a lot of the same coloured powder and smaller crumbs. They had a W printed on them. I payed £100 for the pills which works out as 50p per pill (£100 = $150 - 50p=75 cents).
It was a friday night and I'd been at work all day, my friend arrived at 11pm. I think I took three at first then swallowed them in 3s or 4s for the rest of the night which I don't remember much of because I was so tired from working all week, the next thing I remember was looking at the clock at 7:30am and realising I'd been awake for 25 hours so we decided to get some sleep. From reading medical books after the experience I learnt that when Valium is taken when suffering from psychosis it causes amnesia (I've got a nasty case of toxic psychosis (fear and hallucinations) from constantly smoking hash from when I was 11 till now 17), so thats why there are alot of missing bits in between in this report. [editors note: Diazepam and all benzos not only cause amnesia when suffering from psychosis but generally given the dose if high enough]
The next night I phoned one of my sister's friends and arranged to swap some Valium for some nice weed she had, which went very nicely with the pills. The next day (Sunday) was spent lazing around smoking weed and playing my game cube (on Valium all the time of course) and playing dance music on my decks which apeared to go very smoothly with seamless mixes (could have been an illussion created by the Valium?) that night I asked my friend how many he thoguht I should take to get to sleep, he said 2 or 3 so I took 3 then lay in bed for a while, feeling pretty good after an hour or so and not thinking about the next day. When I had to go to work I took another 4 then another 4 about an hour after that and sat up till 3 or 4am listening to Chemical Brothers and hallucinating when I closed my eyes.
The hallucinations I had that night were alot more intense than any other that I'd had from mushrooms or LSA, it started off with a universe made up of bright lime green (the colour of the only light I had on in my room at the time) planets and stars that were all constantly moving and swirling around in time to the music I was listening to, then all the planets and stars collected in the center of my field of vision and formed an image of a man sitting in an arm chair, he then began to talk (not hearing the words he was saying just seeing his mouth moving) and his head inflated to 10 times the size of his body. His talking turned into just pulling wierd faces and his head wiggling about the place.
A few hours later I woke up at 6:30am and went to work. I work on a mussle (the shell fish that you eat) farm on an island called Mull on the west coast of Scotland, this job involves walking on a raft on 4inch beams of wood which not supprisngly I fell off into the water trying to hook a massive bin of mussles (which weighed just under a ton) from the crane on to the raft (not easy even when you haven't taken 350mg of Valium in the previous 2 days and had 2 or 3 hours of sleep the night before :D hehe) all the following convesations with my boss resulted in me getting 2 weeks off work then a futher 4 weeks after that, 2 weeks of which I was still taking valium and the last 2 withrawing severly from them. Withdrawing from them I hardly got any sleep (2 - 6 hours a day for a weeks) and when I did I had full on intense nightmares, the rest of the time I was tired, weak, in a bad mood and depressed. And adding to the bad feeling of withdwrawing was the fact I'd just been on an Extasy binge involving 9 very stong pills just before I completely ran out of valium. In under an month a went through about 4000mg (400 pills) and bought 600 all together selling/giving the rest to friends and spent £300 ($450) on them.
I suppose I am writing this mostly to try and piece together the events of a large part of my life I don't remember a lot of, to make it feel like it wasn't so much a waste of time and money, but just another mind bending fun chapter in the novel of headonistic drug stories that is my life so far.
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