Citation: Murple. "Baseball Bat to the Skull: An Experience with Pharmahuasca (Harmala Alkaloids & 5-MeO-DMT) (exp2360)". Erowid.org. Oct 8, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2360
I got home from work, after taking a capsule of about 100mg of harmala extract before leaving, and took a huge hit of 5-MeO-DMT. I took a much bigger hit than I had planned (its hard to measure milligram doses by eye). My life flashed before my eyes, and I knew I'd either killed myself or gone permanently insane. I tried focusing on the ideas of peace and love but I was too far gone for such abstract ideas. I didn't try breathing excercises because I'd lost awareness of my body. There was an intense but undefined feeling of terror. As my mind began to reassemble, I had thoughts like 'If I'm dead, what was the point of my life? I had no purpose' and 'I'm never doing drugs again!' Sometimes psychedelics give you a slap in the face if you need one - this was a baseball bat to the skull. The terror faded, but I was left with a feeling that I must find purpose, or get back to a purpose I'd strayed from. I'm quite shaken up. One of the most horrifying experiences of my life.
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