Citation: Silverfucked. "A Warm Place: An Experience with Oxycodone (exp23482)". Erowid.org. Mar 19, 2006. erowid.org/exp/23482
Usually oxycontin comes around once and awile, and there isnt a heroin scene here(nor do i relaly want to pursue it).. Still I manage to be a narcotic user of 3-4 times a week, my usually alternating between percs, lortabs, and my bucket full of APAPless codiene.. (I eat this shit like candy, and as its mostly harmless, i have no regrets. Percocet and Lortab I use less frequently due to the fact that my tolerance forces me into taking about 4 grams of APAP..)
So when oxycontin hits home, I snatch the shit.. It must really be annoying to my pothead dealer who doesnt see the point in it, but has to listen to me whine about getting more all the time. He cant complain though, as one week's worth of oxycontin would total my whole paycheck.. So oxycontin is more like a rare(monthly or bimonthly) treat.
When I get back from picking it up, I practically have an erection walking in the house.. Really, I become like a school child, running and skipping from my car, across the lawn, and thru the door, usually singing some makeshift song that I made up on the spot about the fact I am about to get high.
I'll look at the little OC40 pill inside its tiny plastic bag with great reverance.. Like ecstasy, it amazes me that six hours of great euphoria can be packed into a package smaller than an asprin. And then with great repect and reverance, I proceed to pound the shit out of the little fucker with a hammer, leaving me with a baggy full of white powder, and a maybe an orange spec here and there(outer coating)..
I dump the contents onto a plate, and turn the bag inside out and stick it in my mouth.. Ah bittersweetness.. If shit got me high like oxy, id be licking the bag too. Im sure the process makes me look like some dirty fiending junky.
I take a knife and cut the pile in half and then cut one of the piles in two.. I then combine a big pile with a small pile. The other shit is to be scraped aside to be bumped off of every 15 or 20 minutes after the intitial dose.. Usually that small pile is divided into 4 lines and done slowly to keep the high going. OK ,now i can see how this is pathetic.
I cut my McDonalds straw(nice and fat) in half. I wonder if the realise what Im doing when i come in, grab a straw, and leave, every single month. Anyway, I cut my big pile in two; one for each nostril. And up it goes. No burn, chalky drip that I love.. and we're off
0 min - Opiates have this magic way of actingly immeadiatly upon ingestion, no matter what the mode is... It is as if my brain goes ahead and begins the high in anticipation of the actual chemical effect.. If I were to be experiencing any withdrawls, its like someone snaps there fingers and that body ache goes away. Although, obviously there is no opiate stimulation yet, there is already a large influx of dopamine in the limbic system at T+0:00. In other words, im already feelin good
5 min - The first real effects of the opiate begins to show. A warmth starts here. Kinda like a match lighting about to ignite a fire, it starts right in the middle, barely detectable.
10 min - This warmth now spreads up my spine creating a feeling of pressure or presence in my head, kinda behind my eyes.. I would say it manifests itself as a variance of dizzyness. My nose starts itching. I know its coming, so I typically get on the net at this time.
15 min - The opiate manifests itself and a slow warmth seeps all the way down my body and then begins to radiate... Pulsing,warm sensation, that carries with it a sense of calmness and reassurance. Usually at this point, I let out a huge sigh of relief and stretch.. My muscles similtaneously loosen, and a sink back into my chair.. Its very gentle.
20 min - Oxycodone carries with it an amphetamine characteristic.. Things that normally interest me, suddenly interest alot. It feels good to converse with people.. Fuck it feels good to do anything. I usually spend this time surfing the net. Coziness has surrounded me.. Euphoria grows. People compare heroin to an orgasm. Opiates are nothing like an orgasm. I know the feeling after sex.. Relaxed, happy, refreshed, carefree, and this placidness that lets me stare off for a minute and relish in it. Thats how opiates are. A feeling of 'Ahhhhhhhh'.
30min - I suddenly find that im rubbing my nose and junk alot.. However itching is good, why the fuck should I care anyway.. Im high. The warm euphoria begins to wrap around me like a comfy blanket.. I feel totally at ease, and wrapped up in my internet activity. I dont smoke. Except on opiates. It just feels damn good, just to relish in my own self indulgence.
My inhibitions are loosened, but nothing like alcohol or E.. I feel comfortable with saying anything, but dont feel the need to say shit. If people want to talk, I'll engage.. Its good to have friends. Its good to live. Everything is good.
1 hour - The warmth that began as a match has now become a surging yet placid euphoria.. Laying down at this point is usually essential.. I no longer need the computer for entertainment.. I am happy. Say goodbyes, sign off, laydown, turn on the TV.. Time to integrate into Trent Reznor's 'A Warm Place'..
Laying down is godly. I hit the bed/couch/concrete and just melt into it... TV is entertaining, yet not mentally taxing like the computer.. My thoughts have now taken a smoking break from reality.. I watch the TV, but dont really pay attention('Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying'..).. Whats the point, I have all I need. Choosing to focus on anything is a burden that I no longer need.
1 hour 30 min - I'm in the clouds. The strong warmth and physical euphoria has totally immersed me.. In fact, if I lay totally still(which is quite easy in this state), my extremities cease to be body parts, but just physical manifestations of opiate euphoria.. Its like a warm jacuzzi massaging every cell in my body. Physical numbness, replaced by opiate joy.. Every hurt in life, every scar on my soul is gone.. Why was I holding them anyway, I think..
The past has ceased to exist. Why the hell was I worried today? Why the hell was I even in class today when I could be here? What was it like before this?
Its my chemcical hug, that reassures me everything will be ok... I relish in it, and believe it, even though I know its not true. At this point reality is distant... I am far far from it.. Floating above it all on my cloud of happiness. Thinking about hurtful things is possible and even easy, but they no longer have meaning.
'Life is but a dream'
My eyes become heavy at first, as if there are lead weights and I have to use all my strength to keep them open. Never mind the TV, its relevance equals that of the blank wall I am staring at now. Eventually, these 'eye weights win'..
My eyes close, but strangely enough I dont realise it.. Ah the nod. I are in my own world. Reality is just as prominent under my eyelids as it is with the open. My eyes slam shut, and strange dream like visions will play in my head... Usually, glowing childhood memories, or sometimes just inane scenes, or flashes of nonsensical items. Its not till I open my eyes again, that I realise these dreams where only my mind... Sometimes Ill look at the clock(11:3, merely blink and it will be 12:05.. The reality is that I nodded off during that missing time.. The body and mind euphoria is so strong that I dont notice, nor care.. I am frozen in the present, yet time seems to speed along. All I can do is lie there and be enveloped by a placid feeling of total security and warmth..
My eyes snap open and its 1 am... Its been 3 1/2 hours!! At this point I usually stagger to the bathroom to squeeze out three drops of piss, simultaneously sucking me back to the true reality. Cushioned, but true.. Nothing can hurt me.. The I stagger into bed shut the lights and tv out, and sleep the sleep of angels.. Somehow, I sleep, yet are aware of every moment of euphoria that occurs thruout the night, until it wears off in the morning, sending me off into a deep unconsious sleep..
6:20 am my alarm screams in my ear... If im lucky i have a leftover buzz to carry me thru.. If im unlucky I have a pounding headache.. Either way, off to clas I go, just to keep the cycle spinning.
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